I stared at him in horror. Did he think that was it? Did he really believe that? I wasn’t in love with f**king charisma. She was so much more. Didn’t he see that? Blind bastard.
“Argh! Will that woman never leave me alone? Will she always ruin my life? She’s gone, for crying out loud. I have the man I love back, and our daughter finally has her father, and now this. Rush goes and sleeps with this, this girl!” My mother was getting worked up, and I didn’t have time for her temper tantrum. I had to worry about Blaire.
“One more word against her, and I will have you leave,” I warned my mother for the last time. She was not going to disrespect Blaire in any way.
“Georgie, honey, please calm down. Blaire is a good girl. Her being here isn’t the end of the world. She needs somewhere to stay. I explained this to you already. I know you hate Rebecca now, but she was your best friend. The two of you had been friends since you were kids. Until I came along and ruined everything, the two of you were like sisters. This is her daughter. Have some compassion.” The reasoning he was throwing out there wasn’t going to work on my mom. She was as insanely self-centered as my sister.
“No! Shut up, all of you!” Blaire’s voice sent a blade straight through my heart.
No. God no, not yet. She wasn’t supposed to hear it this way. “Blaire.” I moved toward her, but she threw up her hands to hold me back. The wild look in her eyes as she looked right past me stopped me cold.
“You,” she said, pointing her finger at Abe. “You are just letting them lie about my mother!” she yelled. I had been terrified that she would be hurt, but the complete, out-of-reach coldness in her eyes was terrifying.
“Blaire, let me explain—” Abe started to say.
“Shut up!” Blaire roared, interrupting him. “My sister, my other half, died. She died, Dad. In a car on her way to the store with you. It was like my soul had been taken from me and torn in two. Losing her was unbearable. I watched my mother wail and cry and mourn, and then I watched my father walk away, never to return, while his daughter and wife were trying to pick up the pieces of their world without Valerie in it. Then my mother got sick. I called you, but you didn’t answer. So I got an extra job after school, and I started making payments for Mom’s medical care. I did nothing but care for my mother and go to school. Except that in my senior year, she got so sick that I had to drop out. Took my GED and was done with it. Because the only person on the planet who loved me was dying as I sat and watched helplessly. I held her hand while she took her last breath. I arranged her funeral. I watched them lower her into the ground. You never once called. Not once. Then I had to sell the house Gran left us and everything of value in it just to pay off medical bills.” She stopped talking, and a sob escaped her. Tears were streaming down her face, and my heart exploded.
I hadn’t known all of that. She had only told me a little. I wrapped my arms around her, needing to hold her, but she began swinging and fighting against me like someone who had lost her mind.
“Don’t touch me!” she screamed, and I had to let her go or risk her hurting herself. “Now I’m being forced to hear you talk about my mother, who was a saint. Do you hear me? She was a saint! You are all liars. If anyone is guilty of this bullshit I hear pouring out of your mouth, it is that man.” She pointed at her father.
I had kidded myself to think she would listen and let me explain. Her world was being turned upside down with this news. I hadn’t told her. I hadn’t wanted to see the look of pain in her eyes, which I didn’t know how to ease. But I had let this happen instead, and it was so much worse.
“He is the liar. He isn’t worth the dirt beneath my feet. If Nan is his daughter, if you were pregnant . . .” Blaire had been pointing at Abe as she spoke, but she stopped and moved her attention to my mother.
For the first time, she actually looked at my mother. And she remembered. She staggered back, and I wanted to reach out and hold her again, but I didn’t. She needed to get control on her own first. She didn’t want my help.
“Who are you?” she asked, as my mother stared at her with a haunted look in her eyes.
“Careful how you answer that,” I warned my mother, after I stepped up behind Blaire, just in case she needed me.
My mother looked at Abe and then back to Blaire. “You know who I am, Blaire. We’ve met before.”
“You came to my house. You . . . you made my mother cry.”
My mother rolled her eyes, and I tensed.
“Last warning, Mother,” I growled.
“Nan wanted to meet her father. So I brought her to him. She got to see his nice little family, with the pretty blond twin daughters he loved and an equally perfect wife. I was tired of having to tell my daughter she didn’t have a father. She knew she did. So I showed her just what he had chosen instead of her. She didn’t ask about him again until much later in life.”
Blaire’s knees went weak, and she gasped for air. Shit, she was going to have a panic attack.
“Blaire, please, look at me,” I begged her, but she didn’t respond. She kept her gaze on the ground as everything slowly sank in for her. I hated watching this. I wanted to order them all out of here so I could hold Blaire until everything was right again. But she needed this. It was out there. She wanted her answers.
Abe spoke. “I was engaged to Georgianna. She was pregnant with Nan. Your mother came to visit her. She was like no one I’d ever met. She was addictive. I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. Georgianna was still pining over Dean, and Rush was still visiting his dad every other weekend. I expected Georgie to go to Dean the minute he decided he wanted a family. I wasn’t even sure Nan was mine. Your mother was innocent and fun. She wasn’t into rockers, and she made me laugh. I pursued her, and she ignored me. Then I lied to her. I told her Georgie was pregnant with another of Dean’s kids. She felt sorry for me. I somehow persuaded her to run away with me. To throw away a friendship she’d had all her life.” When Abe finished his explanation, I realized that was the most I had ever heard him say at one time.
Blaire covered her ears and closed her eyes tightly. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it. I just want my things. I just want to leave.” Blaire sobbed, ripping me in two.
“Baby, please talk to me. Please.” I pleaded with her and touched her arms, needing some form of connection to her.
She moved away from me, but she didn’t look at me. “I can’t look at you. I don’t want to talk to you. I just want my things. I want to go home.”
No. No. No. I couldn’t lose her. No. She wasn’t leaving me. I loved her. She owned me. She had to fight for us. I needed her to fight.
“Blaire, honey, there is no home,” Abe said. I knew he meant to remind her that she had nowhere to go, but I wanted to bury my fist in his face. She didn’t need to hear that from him right now.
Blaire glared at her father. “My mother’s and my sister’s graves are home. I want to be near them. I’ve stood here and listened to y’all tell me my mother was someone I know she wasn’t. She would have never done what you’re accusing her of. Stay here with your family, Abe. I’m sure they will love you as much as your last one did. Try not to kill any of them,” she said in words laced with hatred.
Then she turned and fled up the stairs. I stared at her and considered locking her in my room and forcing her to stay with me. To listen to me. Would she forgive me then? Could I do that to her?
“She’s unstable and dangerous,” my mother hissed.
I stalked over to her and got up in her face for the first time I my life. “Her world was just ripped away from her. Everything she’s known. So for once in your life, don’t be a selfish bitch, and shut the hell up. Because I am ready to throw you both out and let you figure out a way to f**king survive on your own.”
I didn’t wait to listen to her response, because I knew it would push me over the edge. I had to try to talk to Blaire without her father and my mother in the way.
I stood in the doorway of her room as she crammed her clothing into the suitcase she had arrived with only weeks ago.
“You can’t leave me,” I said, fighting the emotion clogging my throat.
“Watch me,” she replied.
The emptiness in her voice was killing me. That wasn’t my Blaire. I wouldn’t let this lie take her from me. My Blaire wasn’t so lifeless and cold inside.
“Blaire, you didn’t let me explain. I was going to tell you everything today. They came home last night, and I panicked. I needed to tell you first.” I wasn’t making sense, and she was leaving, but I didn’t know what the f**k to say to get her to stay. Slamming my fist against the doorframe, I tried to focus. I had to say the right thing. “You were not supposed to find out that way. Not like that. God, not like that.” I was losing it. The panic and fear were hindering my thoughts.
“I can’t stay here,” she said. “I can’t see you. You represent the pain and betrayal of not just me but my mom. Whatever we had is over. It died the minute I walked downstairs and realized the world I’d always known was a lie.”
Her words were so final. How could I fight if she refused to give us a chance? Would she never be able to look at me any other way again? I couldn’t live in a world like that. One without Blaire.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Fighting to breathe through the pain, I turned and followed her. She didn’t want me. She didn’t want this. But I couldn’t just let her go. Where would she go? Where would she sleep? Who would make sure she ate? Who would hold her when she cried? She needed me. And God, I needed her.
Blaire reached the bottom step, took the phone out of her pocket, and shoved it at Abe. “Take it. I don’t want it,” she said.
“Why would I take your phone?” Abe asked.
“Because I don’t want anything from you,” she yelled at him.
“I didn’t give you that phone,” he said.
“Take the phone, Blaire,” I said. “If you want to leave, I can’t hold you here. But please, take the phone.” I was ready to get on my knees and beg. She had to take that phone. Dammit, she needed a phone.
Blaire laid it down on the bottom step. “I can’t,” she said, and I knew I couldn’t make her take it, either. I couldn’t do anything. I was f**king useless. Her world had just been blown to pieces, and I was f**king useless.
“You look just like her,” my mother said to Blaire’s back.
“I only hope I can be half the woman she was,” Blaire said, with complete conviction in her voice.
The door closed behind her.
I had to do something.
I moved down the stairs, not taking my eyes off the door. I couldn’t just stay here and let her drive away. “Where will she go?” I asked Abe. He would have an idea.
“She’ll go back to Alabama. The only other home she knows. She has friends there. They will take her in,” he said.
Nan’s scream came from outside, and my heart stopped. Had something happened to Blaire? I ran down the stairs, but not before my mother and Abe had bounded out the door.
“Blaire! Put the gun down. Nan, don’t move. She knows how to use that thing better than most men,” Abe ordered in a calm voice.
Holy shit, Blaire was holding a gun on Nan. What the f**k had Nan said?
“What is she doing with that thing? Is that even legal for her to have?” my mother asked.
“She has a permit, and she knows what she’s doing. Stay calm,” Abe said, sounding annoyed.
Blaire lowered the gun. “I’m gonna get in that truck and drive out of your life. Forever. Just keep your mouth shut about my momma. I won’t listen to it again,” Blaire said, glaring at Nan. Then she climbed inside the truck, and without a backward glance, she drove away.
“She’s f**king insane,” Nan said, turning to look back at us.
I couldn’t stand out here and listen to them. She was leaving me. I couldn’t just let her go alone. Anything could happen to her. I turned and went inside and up to my room.
The smell of Blaire hit me as I reached the top step, and I had to stop and grit my teeth through the pain. Just two hours ago, I had lain in that bed and held her in my arms.
I walked over to the bed, sat down, and picked up the pillow she’d been sleeping on and held it to my face. God, it smelled just like her. A sob broke free, and I fought to keep it back, but I couldn’t. I had lost her. My Blaire. I had lost my Blaire.
No. No. I wasn’t accepting that.
I stood up and laid the pillow back down reverently. I was going after her. I needed some clothes and my wallet. I was going to get her. She needed me. She didn’t want me right now, but she would after the shock wore off. I could hold her and ease her pain. I would hold her while she cried. Then I would spend my life making things right. Making her happy. So f**king happy.