It was a touching moment, and again, I almost felt like crying. I'd had my own share of family drama and parental issues. Like before, I wanted the Mastranos to have this moment--but they couldn't.
"You can't,' I told them. "You can't go on like before. Jill ... Jill has to go to Court.'
Emily jerked away from Jill and stared at me. Only a second ago, Emily had been full of grief and distress. Now, I saw intense anger and ferocity. Her blue eyes were stormy, fixing me with a sharp glare. "No. She is not going there. She is never going there.'
Jill had already visited Court before, but both Emily and I knew that I wasn't referring to some casual sightseeing trip. Jill had to go with her true identity. Well-- maybe true wasn't the right word. Illicit royalty wasn't part of her nature, at least not yet. She was who she'd always been, but her name had changed. That change had to be acknowledged, and the Moroi Court would be shaken.
"She has to,' I urged. "The Court's getting corrupted, and the Dragomir family has to play its part to help fix things. Lissa has no power alone, not without a family quorum. All the other royals ... they're trampling her. They're going to push laws that won't help any of us.'
Emily still knelt by the chair, as though shielding Jill from my words. "And that's exactly why Jill can't go. It's why I wouldn't let Eric acknowledge her. I don't want Jill involved. That place is poison. Tatiana's murder is proof.' Emily paused and gave me a sharp look, reminding me that I was the chief suspect. Apparently we weren't past that yet. "All those royals ... they're vicious. I don't want Jill turning into one of them. I won't let her turn into one of them.'
"Not all royals are like that,' I argued. "Lissa's not. She's trying to change the system.'
Emily gave me a bitter smile. "And how do you think the others feel about her reform? I'm sure there are royals who are happy to see her silenced--royals who wouldn't like to see her family reemerge. I told you: Eric was a good man. Sometimes I don't think it's a coincidence their family has died out.'
I gaped. "That's ridiculous.' But I suddenly wasn't so sure.
"Is it?' Emily's eyes were on me, as though guessing my doubts. "What do you think they'd do if another Dragomir came forward? The people who oppose Vasilisa? What do you think they'd do if only one person stood between them and her family's power?'
Her implications were shocking ... yet, I knew they weren't impossible. Glancing over at Jill, I felt an empty, sinking feeling in my stomach. What would I be subjecting her to? Sweet, innocent Jill. Jill wanted adventure out of life and could still barely talk to guys without blushing. Her desire to learn to fight was half-youthful impulse and half-instinct to defend her people. Stepping into the royal world could technically help her people too--though not in a way she'd ever expected. And it would mean getting involved with the dark and sinister nature that sometimes filled the Court.
Emily seemed to read my silence as agreement. A mix of triumph and relief crossed her face, all of which vanished when Jill suddenly spoke up.
"I'll do it.'
We all turned to stare. Thus far, I'd been regarding her with pity, thinking of her as a victim. Now, I was startled at how brave and resolved she looked. Her expression was still underscored with a little fear and shock, but there was a steel in her I'd never seen before.
"What?' exclaimed Emily.
"I'll do it,' said Jill, voice steadier. "I'll help Lissa and ... and the Dragomirs. I'll go with Rose back to Court.'
I decided mentioning the myriad difficulties of me getting anywhere near Court wasn't important just then. Honestly, I had reached a point where I was playing all of this by ear, though it was a relief to see Emily's fury shifted away from me.
"You will not! I'm not letting you near there.'
"You can't make this choice for me!' cried Jill. "I'm not a child.'
"And you're certainly not an adult,' retorted Emily.
The two began arguing back and forth, and soon John jumped in to support his wife. In the midst of the family bickering, Sydney leaned toward me and murmured, "I bet you never thought the hardest part of finding your "savior' would be getting her mom to let her stay out past curfew.' The unfortunate part about her joke was that it was kind of true. We needed Jill, and I certainly hadn't envisioned this complication. What if Emily refused? Clearly, keeping Jill's heritage a secret was something she'd been pretty adamant about for a while-- say, like, fifteen years. I had a feeling Jill wouldn't be beyond running away to Court if it came down to that. And I wouldn't be beyond helping her.
Once more, Sonya jumped into the conversation unexpectedly. "Emily, didn't you hear me? This is all going to happen eventually, with or without your consent. If you don't let Jill go now, she'll go next week. Or next year. Or in five years. The point is, it will happen.'
Emily sank back against the chair, face crumpling. "No. I don't want this.'
Sonya's pretty face turned bitter. "Life, unfortunately, doesn't seem to care what we want. Act now while you can actually stop it from being a disaster.'
"Please, Mom,' begged Jill. Her jade Dragomir eyes regarded Emily with affection. I knew Jill might indeed disobey and run off--but she didn't want to, not if she didn't have to.
Emily stared into the distance, long-lashed eyes vacant and defeated. And although she was standing in the way of my plans, I knew she did it out of legitimate love and concern--traits that had probably drawn Eric to her.
"Okay,' said Emily at last. She sighed. "Jill can go--but I'm going too. You aren't facing that place without me.'
"Or me,' said John. He still seemed bewildered but was determined to support his wife and stepdaughter. Jill regarded them both with gratitude, reminding me again that I'd just turned a functional family dysfunctional. Emily and John coming with us hadn't been part of my plans, but I couldn't blame them and didn't see what harm they'd cause. We'd need Emily anyway to tell everyone about Eric.