"Exactly. The book is dangerous, Adam. I don't want anyone to get hurt until I know I have something real that could help them. But if you're so interested in dabbling in dark magic all of a sudden, maybe you should go find Scarlett."
Adam looked stunned. Cassie was, too. She had thought she was feeling better after Adam's romantic gesture before their meeting. She hadn't realized last night's conversation about the cord and Scarlett was still prodding at her heart. But it made her insides ache - even more now that she and Adam were disagreeing - and out it had come before she even knew what she was saying.
"That's not what I meant at all." Adam's voice cracked with emotion, but he strived to maintain his composure. "How could you even think such a thing? You're the one who said it was going to be okay last night. You said, 'Everything will look brighter tomorrow.' Well, that day is today, Cassie, and I'm still here, loving you."
Cassie knew Adam was right. She had tried to assure him Scarlett wouldn't come between them, and now she was ruining that effort. The heated anger within her was driving him away - she knew she should stop, but it felt like her emotions were beyond her control.
What Cassie did next surprised them both. She grabbed Adam's face with her hands and brought his mouth to hers. She kissed him violently, like the life of their relationship depended on it - and maybe it did. Cassie climbed on top of Adam, and he resisted her at first, but as Cassie knew he would, he eventually gave in.
It had never been this way before. Fast, animalistic. Pulling Adam closer always felt good, but right now everything seemed blurry and confused. Cassie's intentions were clouded.
Once they slowed down, Adam drew back and looked into her eyes with concern. "Does this mean we're okay?"
"I don't want to lose you," Cassie said. Her own voice sounded foreign to her, almost anesthetized.
"You're not going to lose me." Adam began kissing her again, but this time Cassie drew back.
She regretted the way she'd yelled at Adam and wanted to react to him with warmth now, but she was oddly disconnected. She wasn't really sure what she was feeling - or if she was feeling anything at all. All she was certain of was that she didn't want to say or do anything else that might hurt him.
Cassie sat up and brought her knees in toward her chest. "I'm sorry," she said. "But I'm just not myself right now. I think you should go."
Adam's face crumpled, a combination of disappointment and confusion, but he simply nodded and got up to gather his things.
"Okay," he said. He glanced down at Black John's book still open on the floor but thought better of mentioning it. "When you're feeling better, I'll be waiting for your call."
He left, quietly shutting Cassie's bedroom door behind him.
Image
The second Cassie heard Adam leave the house, she leapt out of bed. Her father's book was still splayed open on the floor, held in place by the obsidian crystal. Suddenly it all became clear. Her charge of emotions with Adam just now - she'd felt it before. It was the same surge she felt when she handled her father's Book of Shadows.
She got down on her hands and knees and examined the book at eye level. Her fingers trembled with anticipation, still warm from where she'd been singed earlier. The book had some power over her - she understood that now. Each time it burned her hands it affected her mind. It was changing her.
Cassie thought back to every time she'd lost her temper since she'd first opened the book, every disagreement with the Circle, every frustration with her mother. She'd handled the book just before each time. And what had just happened with Adam ... Cassie had felt how destructive she was being in the moment, but hadn't been able to stop herself. Cassie reached for the book with both hands and the obsidian crystal slid out of place and onto the floor. The book is the problem, Cassie thought, but also the solution. She flipped through its pages in search of any symbols that struck her as familiar. Minutes passed before she realized she was holding the book without being burned.
Cassie lifted her fingertips up to her eyes. They were perfectly fine. No new marks, no tingling. It was what she'd been hoping for since she'd first taken the book from the basement. But deep down, she couldn't ignore the dismal reason the book no longer rejected her hands. As she was turning darker, it was beginning to welcome her. The balance in Cassie was shifting.
But she couldn't let that scare her. Now that she'd come this far, abandoning her search for the witch-hunter curse wasn't a choice. The threat the book posed would just have to be considered an occupational hazard, a risk that came with the job of saving her Circle.
She continued turning the pages, gaining momentum with every word, absorbing all she could from each dot and stroke. The book's contents still appeared as an archaic code, and she didn't understand most of what she took in, yet there were certain symbols she found especially curious, ciphers that seemed to reach out and speak to her. Cassie could feel the meanings of these lines like a bar of classical music; they moved her from the inside out.
Part of her wanted to run and tell Adam immediately, to show him how peacefully the book lay in her hands. But if touching the book was changing her, she didn't want anyone else to fall victim to its curse. And she also shouldn't handle the book more than she had to. Or as much as she wanted to.
Cassie thought for a moment about her options. She turned back to the book's first page and carried it over to her desk. She pulled out a spiralbound notebook and took a ballpoint pen in hand. She sat and carefully copied the page, line for line, into her notebook, and then she copied the second page as well. It took nearly an hour to painstakingly duplicate every sign and symbol until she had an exact replica, one that could be translated without any doubt. When she was done, she admired the finished product. Cassie would show it to Adam in the morning and apologize to him for her weird behavior. It wouldn't solve all their problems, but it was a good start.
Chapter 11
Normally Cassie would have called Adam before showing up at his house first thing in the morning, but she was too anxious to bother with that today. Adam answered his door wearing only striped pajama bottoms. He was surprised to see her, but he appeared pleased as he crossed his arms over his chest in embarrassment and invited her in.
Adam pulled out a kitchen chair for her. There was a half-eaten bowl of cereal on the table - she'd obviously caught him in the middle of breakfast.
"I hope you don't mind me barging in on you like this," Cassie said. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry about my behavior last night."
Adam's posture softened at her apology. "It's okay. We're all under a lot of stress, and emotions are running high."