"Don't come any closer," Kathryn said under her breath.
"Sweetheart, I plan to get a lot closer than this," he said as he reached out for her, then only smiled when she moved to the other side of the kitchen. "Look, honey, I'll court you if that's what you want. I'll buy you flowers and candy and--"
"No!" Kathryn said fiercely. "You can't. We can't. You don't know--" Suddenly her head felt as though it were going to explode. In Philadelphia she had dreamed of falling in love with a man and having a complete family, but now she knew what it felt like to love a man, for only love could make her feel this awful. And with the knowledge of love, she knew something else: She knew that she could not endanger Cole and Zachary. She and Jeremy were already in danger, and it must not extend further.
"What in the world makes you think I'd ever be interested in a cowboy like you?" she said, with a toss of her head that she hoped looked convincing. "Look at yourself. You smell like horses, and I doubt if you've ever read a book in your life and--"
She didn't say any more as Cole pulled her into his arms and kissed her until she could hardly breathe. When he moved his mouth away, she was limp in his arms, her eyes closed.
"I don't know why I ever thought you could have been a good actress," he said softly as he began to kiss her neck. When she didn't respond, Cole swept her up into his arms and carried her up the stairs to his room, where he gently laid her on his bed.
"But I... We..."
"Shhh," he said, kissing her as he quickly stripped off his cold, wet clothes, then climbed into bed beside her. When a flash of lightning illuminated the room and he saw Kathryn's expression as she saw his nude body, he smiled. "You'd think you'd never seen a naked man before."
"I haven't," she said without thinking, as he started unbuttoning her dress and kissing the skin that was exposed, inch by slow inch.
He chuckled at her words. "And was Jeremy's father some phantom lover, a man you never saw?" he asked as his hands moved over her breasts.
Kathryn didn't answer, but closed her eyes as she felt the new sensations of this man's touch.
Then abruptly, Cole stopped touching her and leaned over her, staring down into her eyes. "How did you get pregnant with Jeremy?" he asked forcefully.
Turning her head away, Kathryn wouldn't look at him, then she drew her dress together and started to get off the bed, but Cole stopped her.
"The bastard," he said under his breath, and those words told that he knew how Kathryn had been made pregnant. After a moment, Cole slowly began to kiss her neck again. But when she didn't respond, he took her face in his hands and looked at her. "You may not think so, but I'm an honorable man. I keep my word. Kathryn," he said with his eyes piercing into hers, "I love you. I think I fell in love with you that first day when you saved my life. I knew I had never kissed anyone who made me feel as you did, and that's why, later, when I thought you were just one of the girls from town, I was in a rage."
He was caressing her cheek and neck, and Kathryn's eyes closed. "Later," he said, soft and low, "I decided that I didn't want to be in love. I didn't want this feeling of rage one minute and... and..."
"Blithering idiocy the next?" she asked.
"Exactly," he said, smiling.
All the while he was talking to her, he was touching her, his hands gentle and tender, moving along her waist, along the edges of her breasts.
Then suddenly, he rolled away, to the far side of the bed so he seemed to be miles from her. "I can't do this," he said as he put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. "I thought you were a widow or at least that you were familiar with a man. But you're almost a virgin."
For the last hour or so she had been swept off her feet and unable to think. Yesterday she had told herself that she despised him. When they passed in the hall, she had looked past him. So how had they come to be in his bed together, he naked with only a sheet covering him? How had she come to have her dress unfastened so that her breasts above her corset were exposed? But most importantly, what had happened to make him move away?
She rolled toward him, pressing her body against his, then put her hand on his bare chest. She'd never touched a man's bare body before. When O'Connor had done to her... what he had done, he had not bothered to remove his clothing.
"I can't very well be a virgin if I've given birth to a child, can I?" she said as she planted a kiss on his shoulder.
Cole didn't move. "But still, you're not experienced in these matters, so we'd better wait. Until after the wedding, that is."
Kathryn paused in kissing his arm, but only for a moment. Right now she didn't seem able to remember anything about safety. How could she and Jeremy not be safe if they were protected by a man like Cole Jordan? And a wedding might be very nice.
She ran her hand across his wide chest, then, daringly, she moved it downward, below the sheet that was draped over him. "What do a few days matter?" she said as she moved upward and began to kiss the soft place just below his ear. It was when she felt his pulse that she knew he was lying. He was as excited as a man could be, and one glance downward confirmed that knowledge. Maybe she wasn't a good actor, but he obviously was.
"You're right," she said as she moved away from him. "We should wait. We should get to know each other. We hated each other yesterday, and today we love each other. Who's to say that we won't hate again tomorrow? And if we've done this, we won't be able to go back. Yes, indeed, we should wait."
But as Kathryn rolled to the edge of the bed, Cole caught her arm.