Collapsing down on the bed, I wrapped myself in the blanket that smelled overwhelmingly of him. Walter burrowed to my side, and I welcomed the comfort of his presence. Closing my eyes, I willed myself to sleep—to escape from the nightmare of my reality. To slip into an unconsciousness devoid of grief and sorrow. Where you never had to have those you love snatched away from you.
And finally I slipped away.
I was out of breath. My muscles screamed in agony, but I continued running. Dark woods with sinister-looking trees enveloped me. Fear like I’d never known pushed me on. I was running from something, but what, I didn’t know. Images from my past flashed before me like lightning crashing across the sky. My mother handing me a bouquet of bloodred roses at one of my ballet recitals. My father grinning as he pressed the car keys into my eager sixteen-year-old hands. Deacon’s intense dark eyes, a sheen of sweat across his tattooed chest, and his hips flexing at he pumped in and out of me.
Each of the happy memories burst into shards of glass when I ran through them, cutting me with an emotional pain that didn’t seem to touch me physically. I reached the end of the woods only to find myself at the edge of a cliff. Whatever was coming for me grew closer and closer, and without a choice, I leaped off the cliff. As I began to free fall—
With a piercing scream, I bolted upright in bed. I brought a shaky hand to my forehead and swept back the sweat-soaked strands of hair. Clutching my shirt over my heart, I willed myself to breathe normally again. As I became aware of where I was and why I was there, I realized there was no respite. I had just exchanged one nightmare for another.
A gentle knock came at the door. “Alexandra?” Rev’s concerned voice questioned.
“Yeah?” I croaked.
As Rev came through the doorway, I immediately forgot my own pain, and instead, I focused on his. Anguish marred his usually handsome face. In the last twenty-four hours he had lost so much more than me, and the strain was evident on his face. “Are you okay? I heard you shout.”
With a nod, I pulled myself up in bed. “Just a nightmare.”
“I’m sorry.”
“After losing my parents, I should be used to it. I had them for months after they died. I guess it’s only to be expected now.”
“I know what you mean. I had nightmares for years after …” Rev trailed off, a pained expression etched on his face. “Well, anyway, I just wanted to check on you.”
“What time is it?”
“A little after five in the morning.”
“Haven’t you been to bed yet?”
“Can’t seem to lie still.”
Although I had originally come to Deacon’s room in the clubhouse for comfort, I didn’t think I could bear to be alone any longer. “Will you stay with me until I go to sleep?”
Rev’s dark brows shot into his hairline. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
He grimaced. “If Deacon were here, he’d kick my ass for being in bed with his old lady.”
Before I could stop myself, a laugh tumbled from my lips as I imagined Deacon going ballistic at the sight of me and Rev together. At Rev’s surprised expression, I shook my head. “You’re right. He would be pissed if he was here, but he isn’t. And considering he loved us, I think he would want us both to have a little comfort.”
Rev weighed my words before he finally shut the door behind him. He closed the distance between us in two long strides. I scooted over in the bed as he eased down on the mattress. Slowly, he took off his boots. They thumped onto the floor before he collapsed back on the mattress. Without waiting for an invitation, I scooted over to him. He obliged me by raising his arm to let me snuggle up to him and lay my head on his T-shirt-covered chest.
“How’s your mother doing?”
Rev tensed beneath me. “Not good. Breakneck finally had to give her a shot. She’d probably still be pacing the floors and sobbing if he hadn’t.”
Tears overflowed my eyes at the thought of Beth’s grief, sending moisture onto Rev’s shirt. Part of me thought I should be with her. But she had her boys. She and I would grieve together soon.
Everything in my world had turned as black as the charred remains of Case’s house. And then out of nowhere, Willow’s smiling face popped into my mind. A groan of agony escaped my lips, causing Rev’s arm to tighten around me.
“Oh God, Rev, what about Willow? They’re not supposed to be back until Wednesday.”
“I figured we would go get her tomorrow. Tell her in person.”
I couldn’t even fathom what it would be like to tell her, least of all what it would do to her. In the last eight months, she had lost her mother and now the father she had only just begun to know … and to love. “Bless her heart,” I murmured.
“Alexandra, I know it might be too soon to say this, but I need to. Without Deacon, you might think you don’t have a place here anymore, but that isn’t true. You’re our family. We take care of old ladies. More than anything, Willow is going to need you.”
I lifted my head to stare into his troubled eyes. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. In case you missed it, I need you guys, too. I love you all.”
He jerked his chin at me. “I’m glad to hear that.”
Lying back down, I snuggled close to him. Silence stretched out between us as we were both overwhelmed by our own thoughts and grief. “Thank you for being here, Rev,” I whispered in the dark.
“You’re welcome. And thank you, too.”