He actually had the gall to act clueless. “What are you talking about?”
I smacked his shoulder. “Jenny. You guys are here, dancing together, half-drunk and making moony eyes at each other. Kiss her already.”
Evan pursed his lips. “You need to get off that kick.”
This time I poked his shoulder. “And you need to get on that. Kiss her. That’s an order.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You can’t order me.”
I matched his posture. “Yes, I can. You said it was my band, remember? So if you want to stay in it, I’m commanding you to lay one on that little fireball. Got it?”
Not intimidated, he raised an eyebrow. “Really? You’re gonna kick me out of the band if I don’t kiss a girl?”
I shook my head. “No, not ‘a girl.’ Jenny. The person who you’re supposed to be with, but you’re too damn stubborn to see it.” When he still didn’t look impressed, I added, “And no, I won’t kick you out…” Smiling, I leaned in and said, “I’ll make you wear Griffin’s bike shorts. After he’s done using them. In the sauna.”
Kiera and Jenny emerged from the bathrooms then, so I grabbed my girl and left Evan to chew on that. As we were walking away, I heard him shout, “You are one sick individual, Kyle!”
I raised my fist into the air in response. Kiera peeked up at me with curious eyes. “Do I want to know what that was about?”
“No, probably not.” I gave her a wink, which made her bite her lip in such a sensual way that I instantly forgot all about Evan and Jenny. Squeezing Kiera’s hand, I leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Come dance with me, beautiful.”
Her cheeks turned a gorgeous shade of rose as she nodded. Leading the way, I pushed us back out to the dance floor and wrapped my arms around her waist again. The song was quicker paced than how we were dancing, but I didn’t care. I wanted to slow dance with my girl. The DJ could kiss my ass.
I watched Kiera while she watched the crowd. She was so attractive with her hair pulled up into a ponytail, and a tight tank top on under a cream-colored see-through shirt. I wanted to be doing much more than dancing, but the restraint only added to the anticipation. This was technically only our second date, so I wasn’t even going to kiss her tonight. A proper gentleman waited for the third date. Or at least, that sounded good in my head.
A look of surprise crossed over Kiera’s emerald eyes, and I scanned the crowd to try to see what she’d seen. When she nudged my shoulder and flicked her head toward Evan and Jenny, I looked over at them. Was he finally kissing her? No, but they had their foreheads resting together, and Evan was playing with her hair while she gazed at him like he was the only person left on earth. He might still be resisting, but it wouldn’t be much longer now. Good. I shouldn’t be the only one feeling this amazing.
I was nervous for Kiera’s and my next date. This was the one…lucky number three. I was going to kiss her, but I didn’t want it to go too far. Just a kiss. That was it. I didn’t want to get swept away—and at the same time, I really did want to get swept away. Not yet though. We still needed to keep this slow and steady.
After I walked her to her door, I asked if I could kiss her. With a smile bright enough to light the whole city, she murmured, “Yes.”
My heart was racing as we leaned into each other, and all I kept thinking was Keep it short, keep it simple. Our lips briefly pressed together, and I instantly pulled away. There. Gentlemanly. Kiera wasn’t as gentlemanly though. Reaching out, she grabbed my neck and pulled me into her again. As our mouths moved together, my thoughts shifted to Yes…God, yes. It took a lot of willpower, but we left it as a long, passionate kiss, and I was breathless when I walked away. Damn. Going slow was going to be harder than I thought.
Once we started kissing again, we both practiced a lot of restraint every time we saw each other, whether we were at her school, at the park, at her place, mine, or eventually, back at Pete’s. Thankfully, it didn’t take long for Kiera to quit her job at a diner in Pioneer Square and come back to the bar.
When Kiera returned to Pete’s, I made damn sure everyone knew there was nothing hidden about our relationship: I gave her a heart-stopping kiss right in the middle of the bar. She was mine. And if anyone tried to take her from me, I would have their head. Maybe I was a bit too possessive now, but I’d tried sharing once, and I didn’t care for it. Not one tiny little bit.
Kiera was breathless and red-faced when we pulled apart, but she didn’t chide me for the very public display of affection. I’d wanted this from the beginning, and she knew that. With a nod and a smile, she gave me a brief kiss before walking to the back room. My eyes swept the crowd, looking for a challenge. I didn’t find one.
Evan clapped me on the shoulder once I joined the band at our table. “You’ve developed a flair for the dramatic. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
I smiled at him as I sat down. “And you’ve become the biggest procrastinator I know.” I leaned forward so I could shout at Griffin at the end of the table. “Hey, you’ve still got those spandex shorts, right?” Griffin gave me a thumbs-up.
Matt’s expression turned horrified, like I’d just asked Griffin for his jock strap. “What the hell do you want with those things, Kellan?”
He put his hand on my forehead, like he was taking my temperature. Evan tossed a crumpled napkin in my face. “Jerk. I think I liked you better when you were sprawled across the table, piss-ass drunk.”
My eyes drifted over to Kiera as she reemerged from the back room in her red Pete’s T-shirt. “Don’t count on that happening again anytime soon,” I told Evan. All is right with the world again.
But everything being right didn’t mean that everything was perfect. Kiera and I had issues. We had insecurities. We even occasionally had doubts. But we did our best to talk them out, to work through them instead of burying them.
The universe made that challenging at times. A half-naked woman showing up on my doorstep brought a hefty dose of tension into the relationship. I asked her to leave and never come back, but after shutting the door on the disappointed woman, I turned to Kiera with a knot of dread in my stomach.
Her eyes were dark with suspicion, and I clearly knew what she was thinking—What would you have done if I hadn’t been here? I answered the question in her eyes before she could even verbalize it. “In case you’re wondering, yes, I would have done exactly what I just did if you weren’t here. I only want you.”
Impressing the hell out of me, Kiera let it go. If the situation were reversed, I think I would have reacted differently. In fact, sometimes I was the one who lost it. She came across me one day while I was staring at the closed door leading into the bedroom she’d once shared with Denny and thinking dark thoughts that I shouldn’t have been thinking.
Maybe seeing my troubled expression, Kiera wrapped her arms around me and asked, “Everything okay?”
Not wanting to fight about things that didn’t matter anymore, I turned from the door and started heading downstairs. “Yeah, fine.”
She followed me, and at the bottom of the stairs, she grabbed my elbow. Searching my face, she said, “You’re not okay. What’s wrong?”
With a harsh swallow, I considered telling her that nothing was wrong, but swallowing my pain wouldn’t help it go away, so I instead said, “It’s just…I have to look at that damn door every day, and remember…that’s where you had sex with another man. And sometimes, it’s just too much.”
I pulled away from her, but she held on tight. “I know. Trust me, when I look at that door—”
I didn’t want to be angry with her, but her words stung. “It’s not the same for you as it is for me!”
She bristled at my tone of voice. “Maybe that room isn’t the same for me as it is for you…but I have to deal with the ghosts of all of your women every time I go in your room. Do you think that’s easy for me?”
I understood where she was coming from, but I was in a dark place, and in no mood to be understanding. “I didn’t take a woman to my bed after I told you I loved you. I stayed faithful to you…but you…you fucked him. You fucked him right after our perfect afternoon together. Well, it was perfect for me, but it must not have meant shit to you, because you fucked him, Kiera!”
Every time I swore, my voice got angrier and more intense. Kiera’s cheeks flushed and her eyes watered. “Don’t do this, Kellan. Don’t open that door. I’ve already apologized, and you said you understood. I was…confused.”
“I do understand! That’s what makes it so fucked up. I understand, but that doesn’t make it any easier.” A tear rolled down her cheek and regret washed over me. I hadn’t meant to bring it up…I wanted to let the past go, I really did. Sinking my head into my hands, I muttered, “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a dick, it just…it hurts, Kiera. It really fucking hurts.”
I felt the darkness and anger shifting into pain. I wished that had gone away the second Kiera and I had become a couple, but every once in a while, agony reared its ugly head. Kiera made multiple quiet apologies in my ear as she tried to put her arms around me. For a second, I didn’t let her, but then I caved, because I knew I had to let this go if we were going to move forward. And I wanted to move forward with her…so much.