“You’re both good boys. For right now you two take care of each other and I’ll work on your mother. I love you both. Don’t give up on us yet.”
We all shared a back pounding round of hugs before Rome and I climbed back into the truck. I had to let the massive motor heat up before the heater would pump out warm hair so while we waited I stared out the snowy windshield in contemplation while Rome rattled on about our mom. He was repulsed by her reaction to my surprise visit, I wasn’t. I was however stunned by everything my dad had told me. I couldn’t remember the last time anyone told me they loved me besides my brothers. I had forgotten how nice it made me feel.
“You wanna take the Beamer or the truck since it’s coming down pretty good now?”
“The BMW. I’ve seen you drive little brother, you won’t make it back to Denver in one piece in that sports car.”
He had a point and I wanted to get back in one piece because I wanted to get Shaw a phone and pick her up from work and spend the night in bed with her wrapped around me making her whisper my name over and over in that husky voice and maybe, just maybe getting someone to tell me they loved me would apply to her because I wasn’t sure, but that slippery feeling in my chest sure felt a hell of a lot like love.
Chapter 12
Shaw
I was still trying to figure out my new phone. Instead of replacing my broken one with a replacement of the same model Rule had gotten me the brand new version with all the bells and whistles and the thing was ten times smarter than me. I was trying to text Ayden that I was running late for our coffee date because one of my classes had run late. I hadn’t seen her for more than a few minutes in the last couple of weeks so we were meeting to catch up. She was still acting a little off but between always staying at Rule’s place and having him crash at ours, to shifting my schedules around at work and being constantly vigilant to avoid any kind of run in with Gabe since the protection order had been shut down cold like Mark had predicted, pinning her down and making her talk to me hadn’t been possible.
I was developing a pretty good rhythm. On the days I worked I stayed on the Hill with Rule since his place was closer to the bar and he didn’t mind coming to have a drink and waiting for me to get off so he could take me home he and Lou were like the best of friends now. On the days I was at school or volunteered he would show up sometimes around dinner but often right before bedtime and spend the night at my apartment. I had decided to drop my Saturday shift in order to have one weekend night off to spend with him. He liked to go out on Friday and Saturday nights with his friends so I figured it was cool to let him have a night to get his bro-time in while I was working, plus it was fun to have a weekend day off to go shopping or watch a movie when I was so used to being busy all the time. Being with Rule was teaching me that my time was precious and I needed to spend it doing things I wanted as well as the things that were required of me. That was partly why I felt justified in ignoring the calls from my parent’s that had been coming in nonstop since the trip to Brookside.
I finally got the text sent out and got one back saying she already had a seat and had ordered for us. When I got to the coffee house the place was packed but Ayden had secured a spot by one of the windows and was messing around on her phone. A table full of geeky looking guys was trying to get her attention by talking and laughing loudly but she seemed oblivious. I missed our girl time and I wished she would talk to me about what had been bothering her the last month but with so much on my own plate I was well aware that I hadn’t been the best friend as of late.
I flopped in the seat across from her and gratefully scooped up the frothy drink she had ordered for me. She made a face at me and put her phone away. “I almost saw your boyfriend naked this morning.”
I laughed at the look on her face. “I don’t know what to say to that, you’re welcome?”
She crinkled her nose at me. “He doesn’t have much shame does he?”
“You’ve met Rule, right?”
She picked up her own drink and peered at me over the top of the cup. “I guess he doesn’t really have much to worry about does he? I don’t know how you don’t get distracted by all that stuff inked all over him, I think I would spend all my time looking at his tattoos rather than getting down to business.”
“It’s fun.”
“I bet.” She had a faraway look in her pretty eyes that I just couldn’t let slide anymore.
“Come on Ayden; tell me what’s going on with you lately. I know I’ve been wrapped up in my own nonsense but I can see the change in you. You look so sad all the time and that’s just not like you.”
Her whiskey toned gaze shifted from one side to another before settling on the table between us. She set her coffee down and traced the rim of the cup with her finger.
“I don’t know, I mean I know but not really.” I just watched her because I wasn’t sure what she was talking about. “I used to think I had it all figured out school, boys, my future, all of it. I knew that coming from nothing and no one didn’t matter because I was on the right track and I was going to be something great and now I just don’t know.”
“What brought this on?”
“The night at the rock bar, the night I had Jet take me home I practically threw myself at him.” I saw her flinch a little. “He was polite enough about it all but said I wasn’t really his type and that nice girls like me deserved better.”
“Well that seems chivalrous and nice of him, not life altering.”
“That’s the thing Shaw, I’m a nice girl now but you have no idea about the life I lived before I moved to Colorado. When I was in Kentucky I was out of control. I partied, messed around in all kinds of bad stuff, played around with too many guys and I was a mess inside and out. It took a miracle to get me into this school and away from all of that but part of me is still that girl and when Jet turned me down it just made both parts of me go a little sideways. He’s cute and in a band, I was mad, really mad when he rejected me on the basis of being a good girl, that’s just not who I think I want to be. I’ve been struggling with it ever since.”
I set my coffee down and looked at her out of narrowed eyes. “You let a guy get all up in your head after one brief encounter? That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
“There was something about this guy, Shaw. I don’t know what it was.”
“Ayden you’re amazing. I don’t care what your life was like before because now you’re loyal and kind, you make me laugh, you’re smarter than practically anyone I know, you’re ridiculously beautiful and we both know that there have been times in the last couple of years that the only thing holding me together was you. I’ve meet Jet a few times and he is nice and definitely a babe but he’s also a rock and roll guy that comes with legions of rock and roll groupies fawning all over him so whatever moment you had with him is not worth this mopey, self-doubt he seems to have spawned in you.”