Her heart twisted. The fact that he’d been able to tell from all that distance—and wasted no time coming to her side—it warmed her deep inside. She didn’t care what anyone said about his past or reputation. This was a good man.
She clutched his shoulder tight.
“It’s all right.” He firmed his hand against her back. “Just follow my lead.”
He danced her to the side of the pavilion—the one opposite his friends’ booth. Instead of rejoining the party, he steered her away from the orchestra and onto a dimly lit path. Once they left the crowds behind, he turned her to face him.
“What happened?” he asked, bracing his hands on her shoulders and searching her face. “Was it something Del said? I can easily kill him for you.”
Pauline smiled weakly. “Please don’t.” Even though Delacre had insulted her, she knew he was trying—in his own, warped way—to be a good friend to Griff. She didn’t want to be caught in the middle.
“Did someone else insult you? Are you ill?”
“No. Nothing like that.”
“You’re homesick, then.”
“I am homesick.” It wasn’t a lie. “This place has me awestruck. Everywhere I turn, I think, ‘Daniela would love to see this.’ And from there . . .”
He drew her close. “Another landslide.”
She nodded.
“It will pass. A walk will help.”
He offered his arm, and she took it. Together they ambled away from the orchestra and into a darkened grove. Once again she found herself wondering how he understood her feelings so completely. Almost as if they were his own.
“May I ask you something?” she said.
“Only if it’s nothing to do with cataclysmic smelting.”
She smiled. “It’s about my sister. You were perfect with her. Just perfect. Do you have someone like Daniela in your family?”
“No,” he answered. “I have no siblings at all. Not anymore.”
So he had lost someone. She squeezed his arm. “Griff. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s not like you’re thinking. I mean, it is, but it isn’t. My mother bore four children, but I’m the only one who lived longer than a week. I have no clear memories of my brothers and sister.” He moved a low-hanging branch out of Pauline’s way, and she ducked under it. “I found Daniela charming. You’re lucky to have her.”
“I am. I didn’t always know it. But I am.”
Pauline wasn’t a saint, and neither was Daniela. Like any sisters, they had their episodes of bickering and resentment. And there’d been that shameful day in their girlhood when they traveled to market with Father. Pauline, perhaps eight years old, had run off to make new friends, steal a bit of joy from someone else’s life. And when Daniela caught up with their merry group, Pauline had been embarrassed.
“Is that dummy your sister?” a boy had sneered.
“Lud, no,” she’d replied. “Never saw her before in my life. Make her go away.”
Even now she could still see her sister’s horror-stricken face. The guilt had crushed her like a millstone. She’d known, in that moment, she’d denied the only person who loved her most in the world. And for what? To impress a few children at market? She had dashed after Daniela, begging forgiveness. They’d clasped each other tight and cried and cried. It was a painful memory, but one she didn’t dare forget.
She would never let anyone make her feel ashamed. And she would never betray her sister again.
“I am lucky to have her,” she repeated. “And no one else understands that. No one.”
“Perhaps they have siblings to spare. We aren’t all so fortunate.”
With that, he fell quiet.
Pauline stared at him, tracing his handsome features in the lamp-lit darkness. He was a complex man, with a rich family legacy and responsibilities she couldn’t begin to fathom. Who was she—a serving girl, from Sussex—to tell him anything?
But she had to try. There was no one else who could.
She turned to him, placing a hand on his sleeve. “Griff . . .”
“Don’t.” At the new tone in her voice, his eyes narrowed. He backed away, leaning against a nearby tree. “Don’t, Simms. Don’t start this.”
“Don’t start what? I merely said your name.”
“But in that tone. I know that tone. You’re embarking on some vain attempt to fix me, mend the brokenness of my life . . . Whatever fool womanly notion you’re entertaining, abandon it now. You’ll only embarrass yourself.”
Good heavens. The man was so transparent, it was like she could look at his waistcoat and see straight through to the tree trunk he leaned against.
If he thought a few boorish words could shake her off, after the way he’d clutched her to him last night . . . the sweet words he’d whispered . . .
“You are being ridiculous,” she said calmly. “So ridiculous, I can’t even be angry with you, so don’t think you’re pushing me away. Griff, I know you’re hurting somehow. I know it. I could feel it, even that first day, and—”
He turned his gaze. “I’m not having this discussion.”
“Fine. Deny it. I don’t care. I don’t know if that’s male pride or aristocratic phlegm. But whatever quality it is, it’s not one I possess. You can pretend you’re not hurting. I can’t pretend not to care.”
She steeled her courage to continue. “I’m not asking to be in your confidence. I can understand why you wouldn’t share your problems with a girl like me, but . . . perhaps you shouldn’t dismiss the idea of marriage entirely. I hate to think of you alone.”
“Who says I’m alone?” he scoffed. “I don’t lack for companionship if I want it.”
“Yes, yes. You’re a great rake and libertine—or so I hear. But I haven’t seen any evidence of it. From my observation, you’re just an impulsively generous, occasionally decent man who roams the house alone at night and tinkers with old clocks.”
His arm shot out and he pulled her tightly to his chest. “Don’t mistake me for a decent man.”
In one swift move he had their positions reversed. His broad chest pressed her against the tree. She struggled just a little, and the gauzy fabric of her dress snagged and caught on the bark.
She would not let him see her trembling.
“You declined to ravage me last night,” she said. “Surely you don’t expect me to fear it now.”