“Can we help you move her?” Bram asked, putting a hand under Miss Highwood’s elbow to help.
“No, thank you, my lord.” Susanna gave him a sad half smile. “You and your friends have done quite enough this evening.”
“I’ll wait for you,” he murmured. “See you back to Summerfield later.”
She shook her head. “Please don’t.”
“I want to help. Give me something to do.”
“Just leave me be,” she whispered. Her eyes darted to the side, and he could tell she was conscious of how everyone stared at the two of them. “Please.”
To leave her be, when she was so clearly upset and vulnerable, went against every protective impulse in his body. But he’d asked her what he could do, and she’d answered him. Honor bade him to comply. For now.
With a reluctant nod, he stepped back. Young ladies clustered around her as they all retreated to the Queen’s Ruby.
He’d let her down. She’d asked him to put a stop to this madness, and he’d refused. Now Miss Highwood was taken ill, the tea shop was in shambles, and he’d put both her reputation and her cherished community at risk. After all their confessions last night, he understood what this place meant to her, how much effort and care she’d devoted to its success.
She’d given him her virginity under the willow tree. And he’d let her down. Bloody hell.
Tomorrow, he’d see about making it up to her.
Tonight, his cousin would have hell to pay.
“Go home, all of you,” he told the men milling about the lane. “Sleep off your drink and return to this spot at sunrise. There’ll be no drill tomorrow until we put this place to rights.”
One by one, the men dispersed, leaving him and Colin alone.
Colin shook his head, regarding the scene. “Well, I’ve certainly left my mark on this place. There isn’t a tavern or ballroom or woman in England I can’t leave ruined and panting for more.”
Bram glared at him, enraged. “You think this is amusing? Fosbury’s establishment is in splinters, and a young lady almost died here tonight. In my arms.”
“I know, I know.” Looking grieved, Colin pushed both hands through his hair. “It’s not amusing at all. But how was I to know she would suffer such an attack? I never meant any harm, you must know. We only meant to have a bit of fun.”
“Fun.” Bram fired the word back at him. “Did you ever stop to think that perhaps the ladies have a reason for keeping this a peaceful village? Or that perhaps the mission we’re here to accomplish is more important than an evening’s debauchery?” When Colin didn’t immediately reply, he said, “No. Of course you didn’t consider it. You never consider anyone else, except to see them standing in the way of your fun.”
“Please. You never consider the feelings of others, either. We’re all just obstacles to your military glory.” Colin threw up his hands. “I don’t even want to be in this godforsaken, disgustingly charming place.”
“Then leave. Go find one of your many dissolute friends and leech off him for the next few months.”
“Do you really think that idea hasn’t occurred to me, on a damned near hourly basis since we arrived? Good Lord, as if I couldn’t find better accommodations than that ghastly castle.”
“Then why are you still here?”
“Because you’re my cousin, Bram!”
For a well-established fact, this sudden outburst rather surprised them both.
Colin made a fist. “You’ve been my closest kin since my parents . . . since I was a boy. And since your father died, I’m all you’ve got, too. We’ve barely spoken to each other in over a decade. I thought it might be nice to try this ‘family’ thing the rest of the world seems so keen on. An idiotic notion, clearly.”
“Clearly.”
Bram paced in a slow circle, swinging his arms in frustration. This was brilliant. Just exactly what he needed to hear right now—that atop betraying Sir Lewis, deflowering Susanna, and contributing to the village’s destruction tonight, he was somehow failing Colin, too. This was why he needed to return to his regiment. In the army, he had a routine, a drill book, marching orders. There, he always knew what to do. If he never resumed his command, this would be his life, it seemed. A string of disappointments and failures.
The futility of it all incited him to unreasoned anger.
Colin scratched behind his ear. “Just think, and all those years growing up alone, I thought I was missing out on something.”
“Guess you learned your lesson there.”
“What does either of us know about family, anyhow?”
“I know something about it,” Bram returned. “I know we’re doing it wrong. I don’t respect you. You don’t respect me. We’ve only been at each other’s throats this whole time.”
“You’re such a principled, arrogant ass. If you respected me, I’d have your sanity challenged. And so far as filial affection is concerned . . .” Colin gestured angrily toward the spot where the Bright twins had grappled. “It seems clawing at one another’s throats is the standard practice.”
“Well, in that case.” With his left hand, Bram grabbed Colin by the shirtfront. His right fist made an impulsive swing at his cousin’s jaw. He checked the strength of the blow somewhat, but it still landed with enough force to send Colin’s head whipping left. “That’s for Miss Highwood.” He drove a halfhearted, joyless punch into his cousin’s gut. “And that’s for . . . for fun.”
He waited, breathing hard, holding his cousin by the collar and bracing himself for retaliation. Longing for it, truly. Bram knew he had blows coming to him—for Susanna, for Sir Lewis, for everything. The impact could only come as a relief.
But his cousin wouldn’t do him even that favor. He simply touched his tongue to his bruised lip and said, “I’ll be off in the morning, Bram. I’d let you be rid of me sooner, but I don’t travel at night.”
“Oh no, you don’t.” Bram gave him a shake.
Damn it, what was he going to do with this man? If he left here, nothing good could come of it. Of him. As a young, unattached, soon-to-be-wealthy peer, Colin had no checks on his behavior. Since a tragically young age, he’d been lacking both a father’s example and a mother’s understanding.
Susanna, he thought with a bittersweet twinge, would probably argue Colin needed a hug.