I sighed. And nothing. I just wondered if you guys were dying without me.
Of course we are.
Probably not dying like I was. Man, I needed to run twice as far tomorrow. Night, Gage.
Night, Charles Barkley.
I hadn’t worn makeup in eight days. It felt nice. I didn’t have to scrub my eyes every night with face wash. It also felt good to be competitive again. Before coming to camp, I hadn’t played a pickup game with my brothers in over a week. I missed it.
Susie held up a sock. “Is this yours?”
“Oh. Yes.”
She threw it to me and I shoved it in my duffel bag, getting everything ready to leave first thing in the morning.
“You’ll have to Facebook me so you can tell me all about how your boy issues turned out.”
I laughed. “Yeah, I’m curious to see myself.” I liked Susie. If she lived closer to me, we would be better friends. I knew I was missing that kind of friendship in my life. Maybe I could have it with Amber one day. . . . I just had to be more honest with her. I needed to be honest with Linda, too. She brought something into my life that I’d never had before. She could read my emotions like the men around me never could. I needed someone to understand me. To help me understand myself. But first I had to come clean. The huge lie I’d told her made it hard to get too close.
But the one truth that stood above the other ones I’d take away from camp was that I was in love with Braden Lewis. I loved him so much it hurt. It hurt because I knew he couldn’t love me back the way I needed him to. And I was going to have to learn to live with that, because I couldn’t lose him. I would have to be happy with whatever part of Braden I could have.
There was a pounding on the window and Susie looked over at me. I shrugged and cranked it open.
“Charlie. It’s the last night. You said it was prank night,” came a whisper from the beach below.
Susie groaned. “We’re too tired.”
“Don’t be babies,” someone else called.
My competitive nature flared up. “We’ll be out in a minute.” I shut the window.
“For real?” Susie asked me, rolling onto her side.
I smiled a wicked smile. “It’s tradition.”
“Fine. What are we doing this year?”
“Filling Fredrick’s dorm room with basketballs. He owes my brother two dollars. I think this will be better than collecting money.”
She laughed. “Well, why didn’t you say that to begin with?”
“I just thought of it.”
“How do we get the keys to the gym?”
“We’ll figure it out.”
Chapter 31
I let out a happy sigh as Jerom pulled in to our driveway. Camp was fun, but it was so nice to be home. I wanted to check on Braden, make sure he was okay. I should’ve called him while I was gone. That’s what a good friend would’ve done. I felt bad that I was too busy licking my wounds to be a good friend.
Jerom parked the car in the garage and we went in through the kitchen. Nathan sat at the counter with a girl I’d never met before.
“You’re home, Charlie.”
“I’m home.”
Jerom brushed by me with my bag. “I’ll put this in your room.”
“Thanks. You’re the best.”
“I know.”
I rolled my eyes, but he didn’t see my display because he was already out of the kitchen. I turned back toward the stranger sitting next to Nathan. “I don’t know you.”
She smiled. She was cute. A small Asian girl with long black hair and a big smile.
Nathan stood and gave me a hug. “This is Lauren. And Lauren, this is my sister, Charlie.”
“Lauren? As in, disc golf Lauren?”
Nathan nodded. “Yes. This is the one we returned the Frisbee to.”
“Wow. You don’t look big or burly,” I told her. Or, as Braden had put it, tall and strong. And from the way my brother smiled at her, I could tell he was into her. My heart sank a little. Not because I didn’t want Nathan to like her, but because I didn’t think Braden would ever look at me that way.
“Excuse me?”
“Inside joke. Sorry. Good to meet you, but I just got home from camp and—”
“You need a shower,” Nathan interrupted.
I punched his arm. “Thanks a lot. I was going to say nap. We were up all night pranking. But shower first, I guess.”
I left him and Frisbee Girl in the kitchen and walked through the door to the living room. I wanted to turn around and walk back out again. Amber sat on the couch, sandwiched between Braden and Gage as they watched television. Braden looked good. Happy, even. His eyes were clear. His hair was perfectly messy.
My heart gave an excited flutter at seeing him and I had to force it to calm down, remind it who was sitting closer than necessary right next to him. Gage jumped up the second he saw me and wrapped me in a hug.
“I missed you, Charles Barkley.”
I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the stinging there. “Missed you, too.”
“You stink.”
I smacked his back. “Thanks. Oh, I collected your two dollars from Fredrick . . . sort of.”
“Tell.”
“He was asleep last night and we filled his dorm floor with basketballs. It was awesome.” I tried to make my voice sound light and happy as I told him the story. Like I’d had all the fun in the world while I was gone.
It seemed to work, because Gage laughed. “You are the man . . . well, the she-man.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled. I waved to Amber and Braden. “Hi. I’ve been told I need a shower . . . twice now . . . but are you hanging out for a while?”
They both said, “Yes,” then looked at each other and laughed. My stomach clenched. I had only been gone for a week, but suddenly between Nathan’s new girl and now Braden, it felt like I’d missed out on months of developments. Missed out on my chance. I shouldn’t have left. Braden needed me and I had walked away. Maybe Amber helped him out of his funk.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
In the shower, the water ran down my face. My stomach hurt and my eyes hurt and my head throbbed. A weird lump had formed in my throat, and I wondered if I was getting sick. Then a sob escaped. A sob that made my heart twist and my insides want to come out. I leaned my forehead against the tile as another one came, followed by tears. It hurt to cry. I didn’t like it. But I couldn’t stop. What was my problem? It wasn’t like I’d lost anything. I knew Braden didn’t like me the way I finally admitted to liking him. But I hadn’t expected to have it thrown in my face so soon upon returning.