“I’m so, so sorry, Jason. I just realized, after really thinking about things…I mean, I’m flattered, and I was excited that you asked me, but—”
I interrupted her. “This is about Kyle, isn’t it? You’re with him, on his phone, so of course this about him.” I should have known. I really should have. Everyone always thought they were together anyway.
“Jason, that’s not—I mean, yeah, I’m with him right now, but—”
“It’s fine. I get it. I think we all knew this was coming, so I shouldn’t be surprised. I just wish you’d told me sooner.” I sounded like a dick, but I just couldn’t help it.
“I’m sorry, Jason. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Nothing to say. It’s all good. I’ll just…whatever. See you in chemistry on Monday.”
I was about to hang up when her voice stopped me. “Jason, wait.”
“What.”
“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but…Becca has had a crush on you since seventh grade. I guarantee she’ll go out with you.”
“Becca?” Shock laced my words. “Wouldn’t that be weird? I mean, what would I say? She’d think she was my second choice or something. I mean, I guess that’s true, but not like that, you know?”
Nell answered after a short pause. “Just tell her the truth. I backed out on you, last minute. You already have reservations, and I thought she might like to go with you instead of me.”
“Think it’ll work? Really?” Becca? She was cool, but she wasn’t Nell. Out loud, I said, “She is pretty hot.”
“It’ll work. Just call her.” She rattled off Becca’s number, and I repeated it back to her, scribbling it on a receipt from a gas station.
“Thanks…I think. But, Nell? Next time you’re gonna break a guy’s heart, give him a bit more notice, would you?” I tried to inject some playfulness into my voice.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Jason. I didn’t break your heart. We hadn’t even gone out yet. But I am sorry for standing you up like this.”
“No worries. Besides, maybe something will work out with Becca and me. She’s almost as hot as you. Wait, shit, that didn’t come out right. Don’t tell Becca I said that. You guys are equally hot, I was just—” God, I sounded like a moron. Someone stop me.
Nell laughed, cutting me off. “Jason? Shut up. Call Becca.”
The line went dead, and I stared at the rectangular bit of receipt paper with ten digits scrawled messily across the back. Becca? I wasn’t sure if asking her out was a good idea. I didn’t know much about her, now that I thought about it. I had the feeling she came from a pretty strict household, but I was just judging by the fact that she always dressed super-modestly, never showing much skin beyond short-sleeve shirts and knee-length skirts. Nothing low-cut, nothing up past her kneecap. She never hung around guys, never acted flirty, never showed up to parties. She was quiet, studious, kind and polite when spoken to, and people tended to leave her alone or be nice to her simply because she was Nell Hawthorne’s friend.
She’d had a crush on me? Really? How had I never noticed that?
I sat in the driveway for another few minutes, thinking. I nearly peed myself when someone knocked on my window. I rolled it down. Mrs. Hawthorne’s gentle, pretty face was scrunched up in confusion.
“Jason? Is everything okay? Nell isn’t here. She went out running with Kyle.” Mrs. Hawthorne was the kind of woman you wanted to be your mother. Slender, with fine blonde hair and pale skin, she was the epitome of wonderful, always smiling, showing up to football games to cheer us all on, and she usually had baked goods. She knew almost everyone in town by name, and she liked to hug people. She usually smelled like cookies and faint perfume.
My own mother was barely a person, hiding out in her room and watching soap operas and reality TV, staying away from the battleground that was the living room. Dad knocked her around sometimes, but as soon as I was old enough to take it, he turned his fists on me and left her alone except for the twice-weekly thumping of the headboard against the adjoining wall between my bedroom and theirs.
“Oh, yeah,” I said. “Everything’s cool. I thought we were hanging out, me and her and Kyle, but I got the times wrong.”
Mrs. Hawthorne frowned at me. “Now, it’s not nice to lie, Jason Dorsey.”
I grinned at her. “Me? What would I have to lie about?”
She frowned ever more at that. “I’ve known you since you were in diapers, Jason. I know when you’re lying.” The corners of her lips turned up in a smirk that reminded me a lot of Nell. “I also know Nell and Kyle had some kind of argument, and I suspect I know what it was about.”
“They argued?” This was news to me. “I just talked to Nell on Kyle’s phone. They didn’t sound mad at each other, I can tell you that much.” I think I might have sounded slightly bitter.
She glanced at the ground, almost awkward, if such a graceful creature as Mrs. Hawthorne was capable of awkwardness. “I think they made up.” She met my eyes. “You’ve always liked Nell, Jason. I know that, but she doesn’t.”
I blew out a breath of frustration. It seemed like Frankie really had been right when he said everyone knew I liked Nell but Nell. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. I have a feeling she’s with Kyle now.”
Mrs. Hawthorne nodded. “Yeah, that’s my thinking. It wouldn’t surprise me. I’m sorry, Jason. I know that must hurt.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. It always did seem kind of inevitable that those two would end up together, though, you know?”
Mrs. Hawthorne nodded again. “Yeah, I’ve always thought so.” She turned a sharp gaze on me. “What are you going to do now?”
I fiddled with the gearshift knob, tracing the white lines and numbers. “I dunno. Nell said I should ask Becca out, but I don’t know about that. I don’t want Becca to think I was just doing it because I had no one better to ask, you know?”
“Hmmm. That’s not a bad idea, actually. I think if you told Becca the truth, she’d respect that. It might be awkward at first, but she’s a very understanding girl. She’d understand where you were coming from. Make it casual, though. Just go and talk to her.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“I’m sure. It’s worth a try, isn’t it?” She touched my hand. “Jason? You know if you ever need anything, you can come here, right?” There was an edge to her voice, something deep and sharp. As if she knew something no one but Kyle would know.