My body rolls onto her on its own accord, even though it hurts like hell to use my arm to keep my weight off her. She trails her fingers up my back as her legs fall to the side, giving me permission to press up closer to her. It's what we've been doing every night for the last few days, almost reaching the end, but not quite.
Suddenly, she jerks back and I blink my eyes open. "What's wrong?"
Biting on her lip, she sits up and I lean back, giving her room as she slips her shirt and bra off and throws them on the floor. Locks of her auburn hair fall across her chest. Grinning, I move my lips for hers again, but she shakes her head and stands up on the bed, slipping her shorts and panties off and discarding them on the floor.
I've seen her naked a couple of times over the week - and once when we were sixteen and she left her curtain open - but each time gets my adrenaline pumping. She kneels down in front of me and kisses me passionately, her ni**les brushing against my chest. Her body is shaking in a way that means she's nervous.
"Make love to me," she whispers against my lips.
I've been dreaming about those words leaving her lips since I was sixteen. "Are you sure?"
She nods with a sparkle in her eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."
I wait a few seconds longer to give her time to back out if she needs to. She remains silent and reaches for my shirt, helping me pull it over my head so I don't have to lift up my arm. Her fingers run across my tattoo, lyrics I wrote about her, although I don't think she knows it. Then her hands find the button on my jeans and she unfastens it. Deciding to help her out, I peel my jeans and boxers off. Grabbing a condom from my wallet, I lie her down and situate between her legs.
"Are you sure you're sure?" I check again.
Her auburn hair is spread across the pillow and the light above our heads reflects in her green eyes as she nods. "Micha, I'm more certain about this than I am about anything else in my life."
Suddenly, I get a little nervous. This is the first time I've ever been with someone I've cared about and it's going to be different.
Mentally preparing myself, I slide into her slowly so I don't hurt her. Her legs promptly constrict around my hips and she squeezes her eyes shut. I give her a minute, letting her breathe through the pain. When she opens her eyes again, I push into her further. Her head tips back as she forces air in through her nose. I start rocking in and out of her. The pained expression slowly turns to ecstasy and her eyes gloss over.
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Ella
At first it hurts - more than I anticipated. I'm wondering what the big deal about sex is, when he starts rocking in and out of me, pushing in further and filling me with him. The pain eases away and all that's left is hunger.
I secure my legs around his hips and open up to him as his lips cover mine. He kisses me fervently and I start coming undone, releasing all control of my body and mind. I let my head fall back as he sucks and nips on my neck and down to my br**sts, before returning his lips to mine. Our skin covers in sweat as his movements become harder, thrusting deeper inside me. I scream out his name as a fire inflames within me and everything comes apart. Moments later, his movements become jerkier and then he stills.
His head is tipped down and his warm breath caresses my neck. He places a kiss on my collar bone, then on my lips, finally looking at me and smoothing my hair back from my damp forehead.
"I love you," he whispers with a content expression.
I smile at him as he carefully slips out of me. Then he holds me in his arms and we drift off to sleep, relaxed and satisfied.
***
I wake up to Micha sitting on the bed in his boxers, playing his guitar, the tune "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who. He's got his head tipped down as his fingers pluck away.
Sitting up, I rub the tiredness out of my eyes while holding the sheet up to cover my chest. "Why are you playing your sad song?" I ask.
He keeps singing, shutting his eyes, really getting into it. "It's not my sad song anymore." His fingers keep playing.
I tuck my legs under me and kneel up in front of him. "Since when?"
"Since the night you opened up to me," he says. "And it was playing over and over again. From now on, every time I hear this song, I'm going to think of you."
I shut my eyes and listen to him play a little longer, letting his beautiful voice flow over my skin. When he stops playing, I open them back up right as he yanks the sheet away from me. I scream and then laugh as he lays me back down and enfolds his body over mine. I kiss him passionately, giving extra attention to the ring in his lip.
"I have to tell you something," he says when I free his lip ring from my teeth.
The sound in his voice makes me uneasy. "Okay..."
He sighs and rakes his fingers through his hair. "I think I'm going to go on the road with Naomi and her band."
I sit up, shocked, and nearly bump foreheads with him. "Did she ask you to join?"
"Yeah, a few weeks ago, but I told her I had to think about it." He rolls to the side, bringing me with him and hitching my leg over his hip so I'm opened up and vulnerable to him. "I think this is something I have to do, otherwise I'll regret it for the rest of my life."
My mind is racing, but I force my voice to sound even. "When are you leaving?"
He traces my cheekbone with his finger. "In a couple of days."
Shutting my eyes, I talk myself through it. I know I have to let him go because regrets do nothing but eat away on the inside. It's still hard, though.
I force a small smile as I open my eyes. "Will you visit me in Vegas?"
"Every single moment I get," he says and seals his lips to mine. "I promise."
Chapter 23
Ella
We decide to visit Grady before we part ways and head off on our separate adventures. Amy, his nurse, called me and told me that Grady was still in the hospital, but that he was allowed to have visitors. We make the hour drive around the mountains and to Monroe Hospital, trying to enjoy our last few days together.
It's a bright, sunny day, and the trees on the side of the road are green. I hang my head out the window, watching the road, feeling like there's so much waiting for me in life.
"What are you doing?" Micha teases, turning the music down. "Trying to be a dog?"
I shake my head and look up at the bright blue sky. "No, I'm just enjoying the nice, warm day."
He laughs at me and turns the music back up. My head remains out the window until we reach town, then I return to my seat. When we pull up to the hospital, blue and red lights light up the parking lot and my stomach constricts thinking about the night they showed up to take my mother's body away.