I thought about it for a moment. I'd contemplated many things from the vampire's viewpoint, but this was something I hadn't.
"I didn't mean to scare you. It's one of the reasons I want to . . ." "Yes?" "It is one of the reasons I'd want you to be a vampire." I sat up. "Really?" "It just seemed odd to me that mortals would prefer to sleep that way." "That's not what I meant." I leaned into him eagerly. "I just feel funny - you here, not totally secured. But I guess it works for your kind. It always has." "Yes, but back to what you were saying." I hoped he'd go back to talking about me becoming a vampire. "I want you to be safe, that's all," he said, squeezing my hand.
From Alexander's perspective, we mortals lived open, vulnerable lives. He was hidden away from the sun and predators. Even if someone were to find the coffin, he was locked inside.
"It's weird. You can see all these things and hear all these noises. No wonder you have insomnia." "I have insomnia because you aren't here with me. So . . . if you really want me to be safe, maybe it's time." "I'd just feel safer if you'd start sleeping in a coffin." Just then my door creaked open. Billy's expression turned to surprise. "Get out!" I said, hopping off the bed. "Uh . . . we are making up lyrics to a song." But that didn't keep Billy out. Instead he was totally interested. "You're writing a song? That's so cool. I want to hear it." "It goes, 'Safer in a coffin, and if your brother doesn't leave, he'll be in one, too.'" Billy just frowned. "It's okay, man," Alexander said. "What's up?" "What are you doing in my room?" I snarled at Billy. "I'm one step away from bringing back Nerd Boy."
My brother wasn't bothered by my threat. He was under the Alexander spell. Like a kid in the company of a professional athlete, Billy was enamored byAlexander's presence. Alexander was the big brother Billy never had. And in kind, Alexander was always attentive to my brother, as kind and focused on him as he could be.
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" I finally asked. I could see Alexander had a longing for my younger sibling, as if he was missing one himself. He seemed delighted by the attention.
I let the two talk for a few more minutes before I led, or rather pushed, my little brother out of my room. Alexander and I had enough distractions to deal with and I wanted my precious alone time with him. I thought now would be a good time to bring up what I'd learned from my conversation with Luna at Hatsy's Diner. I sat on the bed withAlexander and entwined my fingers with his. "Sebastian really likes Luna," I said.
"Yes, I can see that." "No. I mean they've talked future and everything." "Yeah . . . ?" "I think they are going to get married." Alexander laughed. "Sebastian? I don't think so." "Luna seems to think so. And the way he drools all over her, I wouldn't be surprised. . . ." "You don't know Sebastian that well then." Alexander continued to laugh. "Well, maybe he found the right one," I said. "For today." "I think this is different," I tried to tell him. "How?" "Because he bit her." I looked him straight in the eyes. But Alexander wasn't impressed. "But didn't he say the same thing about Becky? That she was different?" Alexander asked. "I guess . . ."
"Do you know how many times I've heard him say that?" Alexander said with a grin. "That's what vampires do, they bite."
"But you don't." "Not yet . . ." He lifted my hair from my neck and nibbled it, sending me into giggles.
Then he took my hand. "Sebastian's only heard me say I was in love once. About a girl I met when I came to this town."
My heart melted. Alexander was truly dreamy. His soulful eyes stared into mine and I kissed him with all my love. When we finished our embrace, I thought again about our conversation. "But with Luna - Sebastian seems to be sure this time," I said. "And he's acting on it - though impulsively," I lamented. "Raven, I don't live my life based on what everyone else is doing. I never have. And I thought you didn't either. That's one of the reasons I'm so attracted to you."
He was right. Why did I have to live my life differently - or expect things for Alexander and me because of anyone else? I'd been living according to my rules since I was born. And now, because Luna came to town, I was going to adjust my whole existence to keep up with hers? And worse, I was trying to do the same for Alexander.
But I couldn't get past her. She struck me to the core. It wasn't rational but emotional. "It's normal to be jealous sometimes," Alexander said. "But what are you jealous of, really? A guy who meets a girl and, without a thought, bites her at a party? What if Sebastian goes to another party? How will she feel then?"
I guess I was jealous that Luna was a vampire and I was still a mortal. That she was bitten and I wasn't. And that she thought she was getting married . . . and I still wasn't sure. But was I brave enough to say all those things to Alexander? To confront him out of fear and not out of love? And because of one impulsive person and another shifty one, to make him prove things to me he might not be ready to prove?
Alexander pulled me to him and took my face into his hands. "I hope that biting you isn't the only way I can convince you of my love for you. It's not that I don't want to. And it's not that I don't think about it every day. I've loved you from the first moment I saw you."
He stared so deeply into my eyes that I could see myself in them. For a moment, I was saddened, realizing he couldn't see his own reflection in mine. And if I was turned, I wouldn't be able to see myself in his anymore. But not seeing reflections didn't seem to bother him. He wasn't asking me to change. He loved me the way I was, and no guy had ever done that before.
He drew my face to his and kissed me deeply, kissed the jealousy away, and I was flooded with a sense of love and an even deeper eternal desire.
Chapter 11 - Buzz Kill
Jagger asked us to meet the following night not at the Crypt but at the soccer field. It was an odd sight, to say the least: a bunch of vampires hanging out on the bleachers at Trevor's soccer game. I would have loved to have hung out at the Crypt, but it was Jagger's plan for the girls to get out and drum up buzz for the club. Luna had her hand on Sebastian's leg the entire time, but it was clear to me that she was staring at Alexander. I wondered deep down if she was involved with Sebastian to get back at or to get close to Alexander. But Alexander didn't appear to care or even notice. He had his arm around me and was as captivated with the game as any one of Dullsville's students was.