"How so?" my father asked.
"Fewer tentacles. Fewer screams. Less death."
Just then, out in the blackness beneath the trees, something let out an eerie, wailing, alien cry. I shivered and my heart beat a little faster.
"The night is young," my father said dryly.
There was a rushing sound out in the woods, and I saw the tops of several trees swaying in succession as something, something big, moved among them. From tree to tree, the unseen threat moved, circling the little glade. I looked down and saw ripples on the surface of my coffee. My hand was trembling.
"What is that?" I asked.
"Beware the Jabberwock, my son," he said. He took a sip of his coffee and regarded the motion in the trees without fear. "You know what it is. You know what it wants."
I swallowed. "The demon."
He nodded, blue eyes on mine.
"I don't suppose-"
"I'm fresh out of vorpal swords," my father said. He reached into the pack and tossed me a miniature candy bar. "The closest I can get is a Snickers snack."
"You call that a funny line?" I asked.
"Look who's talking."
"So," I said. "Why haven't I dreamed about you before?"
"Because I wasn't allowed to contact you before," my father said easily. "Not until others had crossed the line."
"Allowed?" I asked. "What others? What line?"
He waved a hand. "It isn't important. And we don't have much time here before it returns."
I sighed and rubbed at my eyes. "Okay, I'm done with the stupid nostalgia dream. Why don't you go back to wherever you came from and I'll have a nice soothing dream of going to work naked."
He laughed. "That's better. I know you're afraid, son. Afraid for your friends. Afraid for yourself. But know this: You are not alone."
I blinked at him several times. "What do you mean?"
"I mean that I'm not a part of your own subconscious, son. I'm me. I'm real."
"No offense, but of course the dream version of you would say that," I said.
He smiled. "Is that what your heart tells you I am? A dreamed shadow of memory?"
I stared at him for a minute and then shook my head. "It can't be you. You're dead."
He stood up, walked around the fire, then dropped to one knee beside me. He put his hand on my shoulder. "Yes. I'm dead. But that doesn't mean that I'm not here. It doesn't mean that I don't love you, boy."
The light of the fire blurred in front of my eyes, and a horrible pang went through my chest. "Dad?"
His hand squeezed tighter. "I'm here."
"I don't understand it," I said. "Why am I so afraid?"
"Because you've got more to lose than you ever have before," he said. "Your brother. Your friends. You've opened yourself up to them. Loved them. You can't bear the thought of someone taking them away from you."
"It's getting to be too much," I said. My voice shook. "I just keep getting more wounded and tired. They just keep coming at me. I'm not some kind of superhero. I'm just me. And I didn't want any of this. I don't want to die."
He put his other hand on my other shoulder and faced me intently. I met his eyes while he spoke. "That fear is natural. But it is also a weakness. A path of attack for what would prey upon your mind. You must learn to control it."
"How?" I whispered.
"No one can tell you that," he said. "Not me. Not an angel. And not a fallen angel. You are the product of your own choices, Harry, and nothing can change that. Don't let anyone or anything tell you otherwise."
"But... my choices haven't always been very good," I said.
"Whose have?" he asked. He smiled at me and rose. "I'm sorry, son, but I have to go."
"Wait," I said.
He put his hand on my head, and for that brief second I was a child again, tired and small and utterly certain of my father's strength.
"My boy. There's so much still ahead of you."
"So much?" I whispered.
"Pain. Joy. Love. Death. Heartache. Terrible waters. Despair. Hope. I wish I could have been with you longer. I wish I could have helped you prepare for it."
"For what?" I asked him.
"Shhhhh," he said. "Sleep. I'll keep the fire lit until morning."
And darkness and deep, silent, blissfully restful night swallowed me whole.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning my brain was throbbing with far too many thoughts and worries to allow for any productive thinking. I couldn't afford that. Until I knew exactly what was going on and how to stop it, the most important weapon in my arsenal was reason.
I needed to clear my head.
I got my running clothes on as quietly as I could, but as tired as Butters looked I could probably have decked myself in a full suit of Renaissance plate armor without waking him. I took Mouse on his morning walk, filled up a plastic sports bottle with cold water, and headed for the door.
Thomas stood waiting for me at the SUV, dressed as I was in shorts and a T-shirt. Only he made it look casually chic, whereas I looked like I bought my wardrobe at garage sales.
"Where's the Beetle?" he asked.
"Shop," I said. "Someone beat it up."
"Why?"
"Not sure yet," I said. "Feel like a run?"
"Why?" he asked.
"My head's full. Need to move."
Thomas nodded in understanding. "Where?"
"Beach."
"Sure," he said. He hooked a thumb at the SUV. "What's with the battleship?"
"Billy and Georgia loaned it to me."
"That was nice of them."
"Nice and stupid. It won't last long with me driving it." I sighed.
"But I need the wheels. Come on. It's after dawn, but I still don't want to leave Butters alone for long."
He nodded, and we got into the SUV. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
"God, not until I can blow off some steam running."
"I hear you," he said, and we remained silent all the way to the beach.
North Avenue Beach is one of the most popular spots in town in the summer. On a cloudy morning at the end of October, though, not many folk were about. There were two other cars in the parking lot, probably belonging to the two other joggers moving steadily on the running trail.
I parked the SUV, and Thomas and I got out. I spent a couple of minutes stretching, though it probably wasn't as thorough as it should have been. Thomas just leaned against the SUV, watching me without comment. From what I've seen, vampires don't seem to have a real big problem with pulled muscles. I nodded to him, and we both hit the running trail, starting off at the slowest jog I could manage. I ran like that for maybe ten minutes before I felt warm enough to pick up the pace. Thomas matched me the whole time, his eyes half-closed and distant. My breathing hit a comfortable stride, hard but not labored. Thomas didn't breathe hard at first, either, but my legs are a lot longer than his, and I'd developed a taste for running as exercise over the past few years. I shifted into a higher gear, and finally made him start working to keep up with me.