"Excuse me," said Eddie. "Can we have a few minutes alone here with her before she goes upstairs? I'd like to talk to her."
Mrs. Weathers hesitated, apparently wanting Jill's punishment immediately enforced. Then she gave Eddie a double take. The look on his face was hard and angry, and I think Mrs. Weathers knew there was punishment of a different sort coming from Jill's big brother.
"Five minutes," said Mrs. Weathers, tapping her watch. "Then up you go."
"Don't," said Jill, the instant we were alone. Her face was a mixture of fear and defiance. "I know what I did was wrong. I don't need a lecture from you guys."
"Don't you?" I asked. "Because if you knew it was wrong, you wouldn't have done it!"
Jill crossed her arms over her chest. "I had to get out of here. On my own terms. And not with you guys."
The comment rolled right off of me. It sounded young and petty. But to my surprise, Eddie actually looked hurt.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"It means that I just wanted to be away from this place without you always telling me what I'm doing wrong." That was directed to me. "And you jumping at every shadow." That, of course, was to Eddie.
"I just want to protect you," he said, looking hurt. "I'm not trying to smother you, but I can't have anything happen to you. Not again."
"I'm in more danger from Laurel than any assassins!" Jill exclaimed. "Do you know what she did today? We were working in the computer lab, and she 'accidentally' tripped over my power cord. I lost half my work and didn't finish in time, so now I'm going to get a lower grade."
A lesson on backing up work probably wouldn't be useful just then. "Look, that's really terrible," I said. "But it's not in the same category as getting yourself killed. Not by a long shot. Where exactly did you go?"
For a moment, she looked as though she wasn't going to give up the info. Finally, she said, "Lee took me to Salton Sea." Seeing our blank looks, she added, "It's a lake outside of town. It was wonderful." An almost-dreamy expression crossed her features. "I haven't been around that much water in so long. Then we went downtown and just walked around, shopping and eating ice cream. He took me to that boutique, with the designer who's looking for models and - "
"Jill," I interrupted. "I don't care how awesome your day was. You scared us. Don't you get that?"
"Lee shouldn't have done this," growled Eddie.
"Don't blame him," said Jill. "I talked him into it - I made him think you guys wouldn't mind. And he doesn't know the real reason I'm here or the danger."
"Maybe dating was a bad idea," I muttered.
"Lee's the best thing that's happened to me here!" she said angrily. "I deserve to be able to go out and have fun like you guys."
'"Fun'? That's kind of an exaggeration," I said, recalling my afternoon with Adrian.
Jill needed a target for her frustration, and I won the honor. "Doesn't seem like it to me. You're always gone. And when you aren't, you just tell me what I'm doing wrong. It's like you're my mom."
I'd been wading through all of this calmly, but suddenly, something about that comment made me snap. My finely tuned control shattered.
"You know what? I kind of feel that way too. Because as far as I can tell, I am the only one in this group behaving like an adult. You think I'm out there having fun? All I'm doing is babysitting you guys and cleaning up your messes. I spent my afternoon - wasted my afternoon - driving Adrian around so that he could blow off the interviews that I set up. Then I get here and have to deal with the aftermath of your 'field trip.' I get that Laurel's a pain - although maybe if Micah had been warned off from the beginning, these problems with her never would've happened." I directed that last comment at Eddie. "I don't get why I'm the only one who sees how serious everything is. Vampire-human dating. Your lives on the line. These aren't the kinds of things you can screw around with! And yet... somehow, you all still do. You leave me to do the hard stuff, to pick up after you... and all the while, I've got Keith and the other Alchemists breathing down my neck, waiting for me to screw up because no one trusts me since helping your pal Rose. You think this is fun? You want to live my life? Then do it. Step right up, and you start taking responsibility for a change."
I hadn't yelled, but my volume had certainly gone up. I'd pretty much delivered my speech without taking a breath and now paused for some oxygen.
Eddie and Jill stared at me, wide-eyed, as though they didn't recognize me.
Mrs. Weathers returned to us just then. "That's enough for tonight. You need to go upstairs now," she told Jill.
Jill nodded, still a little stunned, and hurried away without saying goodbye to any of us. Mrs. Weathers walked her to the stairs, and Eddie turned to me. His face was pale and solemn.
"You're right," he said. "I haven't been pulling my share."
I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "You're not as bad as they are."
He shook his head. "Still. You might be right about Micah. Maybe he'll keep some distance if I talk to him, and then Laurel will lay off Jill. I'll ask him tonight. But..." He frowned, choosing his words carefully. "Try not to be too hard on Adrian and Jill. This is stressful for her, and sometimes I think a little of Adrian's personality is leaking into her through the bond. I'm sure that's why she ran off today. It's something he'd do in her situation."
"No one forced her to do it," I said. "Least of all Adrian. The fact that she coaxed Lee and didn't tell us shows that she knew it was wrong. That's free will. And Adrian has no such excuses."
"Yeah... but he's Adrian," said Eddie lamely. "Sometimes I don't know how much of what he does is him and how much is spirit."
"Spirit users can take antidepressants, can't they? If he's worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step up and take charge. He has a choice. He's not helpless. There are no victims here."
Eddie studied me for several seconds. "And I thought I had a harsh view on life."
"You have a harsh life," I corrected. "But yours is built around the idea that you always have to take care of other people. I was raised to believe that's necessary sometimes but that everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves."
"And yet here you are."
"Tell me about it. You want to come talk to Lee with me?"
All apology vanished from Eddie's face. "Yes," he said fiercely.