The amusement in his voice grated at me. "Yeah, well, I'm a sucker for pepperoni. What do you want?"
He placed a bookmark in the book and set it on the table. "To see you."
"Really? I thought your only goal was to make me one of the living dead."
He didn't acknowledge that, which was a bit frustrating. I hated feeling like what I had to say was being ignored. Instead, he tried to get me to sit down.
"Aren't you tired of always standing?"
"I just woke up. Besides, if I can spend an hour tossing furniture around, a little standing isn't that big a deal."
I didn't know why I was throwing out my usual witty quips. Honestly, considering the situation, I should have just ignored him. I should have stayed silent instead of playing into this game. I guess I kind of hoped that if I made the jokes I used to, I'd get some kind of response from the old Dimitri. I repressed a sigh. There I was again, forgetting Dimitri's own lessons. Strigoi were not the people they used to be.
"Sitting's not that big a deal either," he replied. "I told you before, I'm not going to hurt you."
"'Hurt' is kind of a subjective term." Then, in a sudden decision to seem fearless, I walked over and sat in the armchair across from him. "Happy now?"
He tilted his head, and a few pieces of brown hair escaped from where he'd pulled it back in a small ponytail. "You still stay beautiful, even after sleeping and fighting." His eyes flicked down to the clothes I'd tossed on the floor. "You don't like any of them?"
"I'm not here to play dress-up with you. Designer clothes aren't going to suddenly get me on board with joining the Strigoi club."
He gave me a long, penetrating stare. "Why don't you trust me?"
I stared back, only my stare was one of disbelief. "How can you ask that? You abducted me. You kill innocent people to survive. You aren't the same."
"I'm better, I told you. And as for innocent..." He shrugged. "No one's really innocent. Besides, the world is made up of predators and prey. Those who are strong conquer those who are weak. It's part of the natural order. You used to be into that, if I remember correctly."
I looked away. Back at school, my favorite non-guardian class had been biology. I'd loved reading about animal behavior, about the survival of the fittest. Dimitri had been my alpha male, the strongest of all the other competitors.
"It's different," I said.
"But not in the way you think. Why should drinking blood be so strange to you? You've seen Moroi do it. You've let Moroi do it."
I flinched, not really wanting to dwell on how I used to let Lissa drink from me while we lived among humans. I certainly didn't want to think about the rush of endorphins that had come with that and how I'd nearly become an addict.
"They don't kill."
"They're missing out. It's incredible," he breathed. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them. "To drink the blood of another... to watch the life fade from them and feel it pour into you... it's the greatest experience in the world."
Listening to him talk about killing others increased my nausea. "It's sick and wrong."
It happened so fast that I didn't have any time to react. Dimitri leapt out and grabbed me, pulling me to him and spreading me out on the couch.
With his arm still wrapped around me, he positioned himself so that he was half beside me and half on top. I was too stunned to move.
"No, it's not. And that's where you have to trust me. You'd love it. I want to be with you, Rose. Really be with you. We're free of the rules that others put on us. We can be together now-the strongest of the strong, taking everything we want. We can eventually be as strong as Galina. We could have a place just like this, all our own."
While his bare skin was still cold, the press of the rest of his body against mine was warm. The red in his eyes practically gleamed while this close, and as he spoke, I saw the fangs in his mouth. I was used to seeing fangs on Moroi, but on him... it was sickening. I briefly toyed with the idea of trying to break free but promptly dismissed it. If Dimitri wanted to hold me down, I would stay down.
"I don't want any of this," I said.
"Don't you want me?" he asked with a wicked smile. "You wanted me once."
"No," I said, knowing I lied.
"What do you want then? To go back to the Academy? To serve Moroi who will throw you into danger without a second thought? If you wanted that kind of life, why did you come here?"
"I came to free you."
"I am free," he responded. "And if you'd really intended to kill me, you would have." He shifted slightly, resting his face close to my neck. "You couldn't."
"I messed up. It won't happen again."
"Suppose that were true. Suppose you were able to kill me now. Suppose you were even able to escape. What then? Will you go back home? Will you return to Lissa and let her continue bleeding spirit's darkness into you?"
"I don't know," I replied stiffly. And it was the truth. My plans had never gone past finding him.
"It will consume you, you know. As long as she continues to use her magic, no matter how far away you go, you'll always feel the side effects. At least as long as she's alive."
I stiffened in his arms and moved my face away. "What's that mean? Are you going to join Nathan and hunt her down?"
"What happens to her is no concern of mine," he said. "You are. If you were awakened, Lissa would no longer be a threat to you. You'd be free.
The bond would break."
"And what would happen to her? She'd be left alone."
"Like I said, that's no concern of mine. Being with you is."
"Yeah? Well, I don't want to be with you."
He turned my face toward him so that we were looking at each other again. Once more, I had that weird feeling of being with Dimitri and not with Dimitri. Love and fear.
He narrowed his eyes. "I don't believe you."
"Believe what you want. I don't want you anymore."
His lips quirked into one of those scary, smirking smiles. "You're lying. I can tell. I've always been able to."
"It's the truth. I wanted you before. I don't want you now."If I kept saying it, it would be true.
He moved closer to me, and I froze. If I shifted even half an inch, our lips would touch. "My exterior... my power, yes, that's different. Better. But otherwise, I'm the same, Roza. My essence hasn't changed. The connection between us hasn't changed. You just can't see it yet."
"Everything's changed." With his lips so close, all I kept thinking about was that brief, passionate kiss he'd given me the last time he was here. No, no, no. Don't think about that.
"If I'm so different, then why don't I force you into an awakening? Why am I giving you the choice?"
A snappy retort was on my lips, but then it died. That was an excellent question. Why was he giving me the choice? Strigoi didn't give their victims choices. They killed mercilessly and took what they wanted. If Dimitri truly wanted me to join him, then he should have turned me as soon as he had me. More than a day had passed, and he'd showered me with luxury. Why? If he turned me, I had no doubt that I'd become as twisted as him.
It would make everything a lot simpler.
He continued when I remained silent. "And if I'm so different, then why did you kiss me back earlier?"
I still didn't know what to say, and it made his smile grow. "No answer. You know I'm right."
His lips suddenly found mine again. I made a small sound of protest and tried vainly to escape his embrace. He was too strong, and after a moment, I didn't want to escape. That same sensation as before flooded me. His lips were cold, but the kiss burned between us. Fire and ice. And he was right-I did kiss him back.
Desperately, that rational part of me screamed that this was wrong. Last time, he'd broken the kiss before too much could happen. Not this time.
And as we continued kissing now, that rational voice in me grew smaller and smaller. The part of me that would always love Dimitri took over, exulting in the way his body felt against mine, the way he wound my hair around one of his hands, letting the fingers get tangled up. His other hand slid up the back of my shirt, cold against my warm skin. I pushed myself closer to him and felt the pressure of the kiss increase as his own desire picked up.
Then, in the midst of it all, my tongue lightly brushed against the sharp point of one of his fangs. It was like a bucket of cold water tossed upon me. With as much strength as I could muster, I jerked my head away, pulling out of the kiss. I could only guess that his guard had been momentarily down, allowing me that small escape.