"I wish you could come back to school with us," Viktoria said wistfully one evening. She and I had been spending a lot of time together.
"When do you go back?"
"Monday, right after Easter."
I felt a little sadness stir in me. Whether I was still here or not, I would miss her. "Oh, man. I didn't realize it was so soon."
A small silence fell between us; then she gave me a sidelong look. "Have you thought... well, have you maybe thought about coming back to St. Basil's with us?"
I stared. "St. Basil's? Your school is named after a saint too?" Not all of them were. Adrian had attended an East Coast school called Alder.
"Ours is a human saint," she said with a grin. "You could enroll there. You could finish your last year-I'm sure they'd take you."
Of all the crazy options I'd considered on this trip-and believe me, I'd considered a lot of crazy things-that was one that had never crossed my mind. I'd written school off. I was pretty sure there was nothing else I could learn-well, after meeting Sydney and Mark, it had become obvious there were still a few more things. Considering what I wanted to do with my life, however, I didn't think another semester of math and science would do much for me. And as far as guardian training went, mostly all I had left to do w s prepare for the end-of-year trials. I somehow doubted those tests and challenges would even come remotely close to what I'd experienced with Strigoi already.
I shook my head. "I don't think so. I think I'm pretty much done with school. Besides, it'd all be in Russian."
"They'd translate for you." A mischievous grin lit her face. "Besides, kicking and punching transcend language." Her smile faded to a more thoughtful expression. "But seriously. If you aren't going to finish school, and you aren't going to be a guardian... well, why don't you stay here? I mean, just in Baia. You could live with us."
"I'm not going to be a blood whore," I said immediately.
An odd look crossed her face. "That's not what I meant."
"I shouldn't have said that. Sorry." I felt bad about the comment. While I kept hearing rumors about blood whores in town, I'd only seen one or two, and certainly the Belikov women weren't among them. Sonya's pregnancy was something of a mystery, but working in a drugstore didn't seem that sordid. I'd learned a little bit more about Karolina's situation. The father of her children was a Moroi she apparently had a genuine connection with. She hadn't cheapened herself to be with him, and he hadn't used her. After the baby was born, the two of them had decided to part ways, but it had been friendly. Karolina was now apparently dating a guardian who visited whenever he had leave.
The few blood whores I had seen around town very much fit my stereotype. Their clothing and makeup screamed easy sex. The bruises on their necks clearly showed that they had no problem with letting their partners drink blood during sex, which was pretty much the sleaziest thing a dhampir could do. Only humans gave blood to Moroi. My race didn't. To allow it-particularly during sexual activities-well, like I said, it was sleazy.
The dirtiest of the dirty.
"Mother would love it if you stayed. You could get a job too. Just be part of our family."
"I can't take Dimitri's place, Viktoria," I said softly.
She reached out and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I know. No one expects you to. We like you for you, Rose. You being here just feels right-there's a reason Dimka chose to be with you. You fit in here."
I tried to imagine the life she described. It sounded... easy. Comfortable. No worries. Just living with a loving family, laughing and hanging out together each night. I could go about my own life, not having to trail someone else all day. I would have sisters. There'd be no fighting-unless it was to defend. I could give up this plan to kill Dimitri-which I knew would kill me too, either physically or spiritually. I could choose the rational path, let him go and accept him as dead. And, yet... if I did that, why not just go back to Montana? Back to Lissa and the Academy? "I don't know," I told Viktoria at last. "I don't know what I'm going to do."
It was just after dinner, and she glanced hesitantly at the clock. "I don't want to leave you since we don't have much time together, but... I was supposed to meet someone soon..."
"Nikolai?" I teased.
She shook her head, and I tried to hide my disappointment. I'd seen him a few times, and he'd grown more and more likeable. It was too bad Viktoria couldn't kindle any feelings for him. Now, though, I wondered if there might be something holding her back-or rather, someone.
"Oh, spill," I said with a grin. "Who is he?"
She kept her face blank in a fair imitation of Dimitri's. "A friend," she said evasively. But I thought I saw a smile in her eyes.
"Someone at school?"
"No." She sighed. "And that's the problem. I'm going to miss him so much."
My smile faded. "I can imagine."
"Oh." She looked embarrassed. "That's stupid of me. My problems... well, they're nothing compared to yours. I mean, I may not see him for a while... but I will see him. But Dimitri's gone. You won't see him ever again."
Well, that might not be entirely true. I didn't tell her that, though. Instead, I just said, "Yeah."
To my surprise, she gave me a hug. "I know what love's like. To lose that... I don't know. I don't know what to say. All I can tell you is that we're here for you. All of us, okay? You can't replace Dimitri, but you do feel like a sister."
Her calling me a sister both stunned and warmed me at the same time. She had to go get ready for her date after that. She hurriedly changed clothes and put on makeup-definitely more than a friend, I decided-and headed out the door. I was kind of glad because I didn't want her to see the tears that her words had brought to my eyes. I'd spent my life as an only child. Lissa had been the closest I had to a sister. I'd always thought of Lissa as one; one I'd now lost. To hear Viktoria call me a sister now... well, it stirred something in me. Something that told me I really did have friends and wasn't alone.
I headed down to the kitchen after that, and Olena soon joined me. I was rummaging for food.
"Was that Viktoria I heard leave?" she asked.
"Yeah, she went off to see a friend." To my credit, I kept my expression neutral. No way would I sell Viktoria out.
Olena sighed. "I'd wanted her to run an errand for me in town."
"I'll do it," I said eagerly. "After I grab something to eat."
She gave me a kind smile and patted my cheek. "You have a good heart, Rose. I can see why Dimka loved you."
It was so amazing, I thought, how accepted my relationship with Dimitri was around here. No one brought up age or teacher-student relationships.
As I'd told Sydney, it was like I was his widow or something, and Viktoria's words about me staying replayed in my head. The way Olena looked at me made me feel like I really was her daughter, and once more, I experienced those traitorous feelings about my own mom. She probably would have scoffed at me and Dimitri. She would have called it inappropriate and said I was too young. Or would she have? Maybe I was being too harsh.
Seeing me in front of the open cupboard, Olena shook her head reproachfully. "But you need to eat first."
"Just a snack," I assured her. "Don't go to any trouble."
She ended up slicing me off big pieces of black bread she'd baked earlier that day and put out a tub of butter because she knew I loved to slather up my slices. Karolina had teased me that Americans might be shocked to know what was in this bread, so I never asked any questions. It was somehow sweet and tangy at the same time, and I loved it.
Olena sat down across from me and watched me eat. "This was his favorite when he was little."
"Dimitri's?"
She nodded. "Whenever he was on break from school, the first thing he'd do is ask for that bread. I practically had to make him his own loaf each time with the way he ate. The girls never ate that much."
"Guys always seem to eat more." Admittedly, I could keep up with most of them. "And he's bigger and taller than most."
"True," she mused. "But I eventually reached a point where I made him start making it himself. I told him if he was going to eat all my food, he'd best know how much work went into it."
I laughed. "I can't imagine Dimitri baking bread."