"If you'll let me eat during it. My steak is getting ice cold," Edward said.
I swallowed hard. "You've seen the movie before, and you still ordered steaks. Why?"
"Maybe to see if you could eat after watching it."
"You competitive bastard."
He just smiled.
"What movie?" Richard asked.
"Eat your steak, Edward. We'll watch after you're done."
"It bothered you that much?"
"Shut up and eat."
He sat down on the edge of the bed and started cutting meat. The meat was red. Blood oozed out of it. I walked towards the bathroom. I wasn't going to be sick, but if I watched him eat that piece of meat I would be.
"I'm going to hide in the bathroom. You want an explanation, come join me," I said.
Richard glanced at Edward, then back to me. "What is going on?"
I pulled him into the bathroom and shut the door behind us. I ran cold water in the sink and splashed it on my face.
He gripped my shoulders, massaging. "Are you all right?"
I shook my head, water dripping down my face. I fumbled a towel and pressed it to my face, holding it there a minute. Edward hadn't warned me because he liked to shock people. And a warning would have lessened the impact. How much impact did I want Richard to endure?
I turned to him, towel still clutched in my hands. He looked worried, all tender concern. I didn't want him to look like that. Had I really said yes, just eight hours ago? It seemed less and less real.
"The movie is a p**n o flick," I said.
He looked startled. Good. "Porno? Are you serious?"
"Deadly," I said.
"Why do I need to see it?" A thought seemed to occur to him. "Why did you watch it with him?" There was the tiniest bit of anger in his voice.
I laughed then. I laughed until tears ran down my face, and I was too breathless to speak.
"What's so funny?" He sounded a little indignant.
When I could speak without gasping, I said, "Be afraid of Edward, but never be jealous of him."
The laughter had helped. I felt better, less dirty, less embarrassed, even a little less horrified. I stared up at him. He was still wearing the green sweater that had ended up on my kitchen floor earlier. He looked wonderful. I realized I didn't. In my oversize sweatshirt, complete with bloodstain, jeans, and sneakers, I had lost several notches in the cuteness game. I shook my head. Did it matter? No, I was delaying. I didn't want to go back out there. I didn't want to watch the movie again. I certainly didn't want to sit in the same room with the man I might marry and watch him watch a p**n o film. Should I spoil the ending?
Would it excite him before it went wrong? I looked at his very human face, and wondered.
"It's lycanthropes and a human in the film."
"They're already for sale?" he said.
It was my turn to look surprised. "You know about the film? You said 'they.' There are more of them?"
"Unfortunately," he said. He leaned against the door, sliding down to sit Indian fashion on the floor. If he'd stretched his legs out, there wouldn't have been room for both of us.
"Explain this, Richard."
"It was Raina's idea," he said. "She convinced Marcus to order some of us to participate."
"Did you..." I couldn't even say it.
He shook his head. Something tight in my chest eased. "Raina tried to get me in front of the cameras. For those that need to hide their identity they use masks. I wouldn't do it."
"Did Marcus order you to?"
"Yes. These damn films are one of the main reasons I started rising in the pack. Everyone higher in the structure could order me around. If Marcus okays it, they can order you to do almost anything, as long as it's not illegal."
"Wait. The films aren't illegal?"
"Bestiality is against the law in some states, but we sort of slip through the cracks on the law."
"Nothing else illegal goes on in these films?" I asked.
He stared up at me. "What's on that film that makes you look so scared?"
"It's a snuff film."
He just stared at me, no change of expression, as if waiting for me to say more. When I didn't, he said, "You cannot be serious."
"I wish I wasn't."
He shook his head. "Even Raina wouldn't do that."
"Raina wasn't in the film as far as I saw."
"But Marcus wouldn't approve of that, not that." He stood up, using only his legs and the wall. He paced to the edge of the bathtub and back. He brushed past me, slamming his hand into the wall. It gave a resounding thunk.
He turned, and I'd never seen him so angry. "There are other packs around the country. It doesn't have to be us."
"Alfred was in it."
He leaned his back against the far wall, and slammed his palms into the wall again. "I can't believe it."
Edward knocked on the door. "The film's ready."
Richard yanked the door open and poured into the other room like a crackling storm. For the first time I felt some of that otherworldly energy radiating from him.
Edward's eyes widened. "You gave him a preview?"
I nodded.
The room was in darkness except for the television. "I'll give you two love birds the bed. I'll sit over here." He sat down in the chair again, upright, watching us. "Don't mind me if the mood strikes you."
"Shut up and start the movie," I said.
Richard had sat down on the edge of the bed. The room-service cart was gone, along with its offending meat. Great, one less reason to upchuck. Richard seemed to have calmed down. He seemed normal enough sitting there. That wash of energy was gone so cleanly that I wondered if I'd imagined it. I glanced at Edward's face. He was watching Richard as if he had done something interesting. I hadn't imagined it.
I thought about turning on the lights but didn't. Darkness seemed better for this.
"Edward."
"Showtime," he said. He hit the button, and it began again.
Richard stiffened at the first image. Did he recognize the other man? I didn't ask, not yet. Let him see it, then questions.
I didn't want to sit on the bed with my sweetie while this filth played. Maybe I hadn't really thought about what sex might mean to Richard. Did it mean shapeshifting? Bestiality? I hoped not, and wasn't sure how to find out without asking, and I didn't want to ask. If the answer was yes to the bestiality, the wedding was off.
I finally walked across the screen and sat down in the other chair, beside Edward. I didn't want to see the film again. Apparently neither did Edward. We both watched Richard watch the film. I wasn't sure what I expected to see, or even what I wanted to see. Edward's face gave nothing away. His eyes closed about halfway through. He'd slid down in the chair again. He looked asleep, but I knew better. He was aware of everything in the room. I wasn't sure Edward ever really slept.
Richard watched alone. He sat on the very edge of the bed, hands clasped together, shoulders hunched. His eyes were bright, reflecting the light of the television set. I could almost watch the action playing over his face. Sweat glistened on his upper lip. He wiped it away, catching me looking at him. He looked embarrassed, then angry.
"Don't watch me, Anita." His voice was choked tight with something more than emotion, or less.
I couldn't pretend sleep like Edward. What the hell was I supposed to do? I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I studiously did not look at the screen, but I had to cross in front of it. I felt Richard track me as I moved. His eyes on my back made my skin itch. I wiped suddenly sweating palms on my jeans. I turned, slowly, to look at him.
He was looking at me, not the movie. There was rage on his face--anger was too mild a word--and hatred. I didn't think it was me he was angry with. That left who? Raina, Marcus... himself?
The woman's scream jerked his head around to the film. I watched his face while his friend killed her. The rage blossomed on his face, spilling out his mouth in an inarticulate cry. He slid off the bed to his knees, covering his face with his hands.
Edward was standing. I caught the movement on the edge of my vision and found him holding a gun that had magically appeared. I was holding the Browning. We stared at each other over Richard's kneeling body.
Richard had rolled into an almost fetal position, rocking slowly back and forth on his knees. The sounds of tearing flesh came from the screen. He raised a shocked face, caught one glimpse of the screen, and scrambled towards me. I stepped out of the way and he let me. He was going for the bathroom.