She got to her feet, started to glance at Saraid again, and then looked at me instead. “Regret is not an emotion we are accustomed to seeing in the royal family.”
“No, they usually enjoy their cruelty,” I said.
“We would never say that to you,” Saraid said.
“I’m saying it, about my own family, but I am not them. I know a few months here doesn’t erase decades of abuse, but I swear to you that I do not take pleasure from causing other people pain, or humiliating them.”
“We believe you mean what you say,” Saraid said.
I smiled, but it wasn’t a happy smile. “You believe I mean it now, but you’re wondering when I’ll go crazy like my relatives and change my mind, is that it?”
“Time has taught us caution, Princess, that is all,” Saraid said.
Dogmaela put her hands on her h*ps and then said, “I fell back into old, unhealthy habits, and I’m sorry for that, Princess Meredith. You deserve better than that, because you have shown yourself to be fair and sane, and … I am sorry.”
I smiled at her. “It’s all right, we’re all learning as we go.”
“That is true,” she said.
“I still don’t want to see Aisling’s bare skin,” Saraid said.
“Nor I,” Dogmaela said.
“Then stand where you can’t see him, but I’m going to speak with Doyle and eventually with Aisling. If you don’t want to guard me while I do that, then you need to find guards to replace you.”
They exchanged another look, and then Dogmaela looked embarrassed and said, “I’m sorry, Princess, it is a very old habit. The other Cranes were the only beings we could look to for help once the queen gave us to her son.”
I thought the phrase was interesting: gave, like you’d give away a possession, or a puppy. You didn’t give people away. It just wasn’t supposed to work that way.
I had to go up on tiptoe to hug her. She stiffened, and didn’t hug me back at first, and then patted my back awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, so very sorry.”
She hugged me back then, and whispered, “Thank you for saving us.”
I drew back with tears threatening in my eyes again. I didn’t like this new emotional me, and really hoped that the hormones would even out and I’d regain more control, but the look on Dogmaela’s face was worth a happy tear or two.
Galen came up to us smiling. He was shirtless, showing his flat stomach and the compact muscle that was underneath every bit of him. He didn’t lift as seriously as Rhys did, and he didn’t do the more extreme nutrition, so his body looked less defined, but wearing only a loose pair of shorts there was no way for him to hide the muscles that were inside all that smooth, pale green skin. Maybe it was being surrounded by so much grass, trees, and plants, but his curls looked very green, that one tiny braid still the only memory of when his hair was almost to his knees.
“Is everything all right?” he asked, reaching his hand out toward me. It was as natural as breathing to take his hand and stand at his side.
“We’re fine,” I said, and leaned into him, going up on tiptoe to meet his kiss.
Dogmaela mumbled, “Fine,” and turned away to hide her own emotions, I think.
“We don’t think it’s safe that the princess be here with Aisling,” Saraid said.
Galen grinned then. “She’s safe enough.”
“I think it’s careless,” Saraid said.
“If you’re in love, really in love, then Aisling’s magic has no power over you,” Galen said.
“The princess told us the old wives’ tale about true love keeping you safe from him,” Saraid said.
“Meredith said that Saraid, you, and she would be safe,” Dogmaela said. She’d wiped quickly at her face, and turned a stony, unreadable face to us, though she was as careful as Saraid not to look toward the practice area.
Galen drew me into his arms, grinning wider. “Then the three of us are safe as houses, but Dogmaela might want to go somewhere else.”
She nodded. “I will, with Meredith’s permission. I have not even an old wives’ tale to keep me safe from the Terrible Beauty of him.”
Aisling had once been called Terrible Beauty, though the Gaelic equivalent of it, and since I didn’t know what country Aisling had started out in, I didn’t know what his original Gaelic name had been. Saying Gaelic was almost like saying Romance language; some were so different from each other.
“You may go, Dogmaela; I think I’m safe enough.” I knew I was smiling, and it was my own version of that stupid-faced, I’m-so-in-love smile.
She darted a glance at Galen, me, and then finally at Saraid. “Are you sure you want to stay?”
Saraid shook her head. “No, I’m not, I …” She glanced at me and then back to her sister guard. There was something close to pain on her face.
“Go, Saraid,” I said. “Go if being near Aisling makes you this uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay,” Galen said, his face sober, worried even. “Merry is in good hands.” He hugged me closer to him, and I wrapped my arms around the slim smoothness of his waist.
“I just don’t want you to think I hold my personal safety above that of the princess. I would lay down my life for her.”
“I believe that, Saraid,” Galen said. “We both do, but this is not life and death.”
“You’re dismissed, Saraid, Dogmaela; now go with my blessing,” I said.
“And mine, if it matters,” Galen said.
“It matters,” Dogmaela said, smiling, a little sadly.
She and Saraid exchanged another glance; then they bowed, arms crossing their chests so their hands rested over their hearts, turned, and left.
“Why do they do that, touching their hearts, do you know?” I asked.
“It was Cel’s idea, to show that he owned not just their bodies but their hearts.”
I looked up at him and must have looked as horrified as I felt.
He hugged me tight against the front of his body, and I pressed my cheek against the warmth of his chest and wrapped my arms tight around his waist, holding on.
“I’m so glad you killed Cel,” Galen whispered against my hair.
“So am I,” I said, breathing in the scent of his skin and the slight dew of sweat, but it wasn’t a masculine smell, it was almost like sweet cut grass.
“Now if you could just kill a few more of your relatives, we could live in peace.”
“The queen is behaving herself,” I said.
“All right, just one of your relatives then,” he said.
I drew back enough to look up into his face. “Since when did you get so bloodthirsty?”
He smiled, but his green eyes were empty of it. “When he hurt you, and then when he tried to sue for visitation rights with our babies. He needs to be dead.”
I hugged him as tight as I could, gazing up at him, studying his face. I didn’t know why, but I was suddenly frightened for him. “Promise me you won’t do anything foolish, Galen.”
“I’m your bodyguard; it’s my job to keep you safe. I’m the father of your children, and a husband in all but name; that gives me all the right I need to do anything to protect or avenge you, my Merry.”
“If the king tries to kidnap me again, then do whatever you can, or want, but just promise me you won’t go off and try to beard the tyrant in his lair, so to speak?”
He kissed me, and I kissed him back, but I studied his face as he drew back from it. “Galen, promise me.”
He smiled at me, fingers tracing the edge of my cheek. “I can’t.”
“Don’t get hurt, or worse, please, Galen. I’ve lost enough people in my life, all right?”
He hugged me tight again, and gave me a little shake. “I love you, Merry, and I love our children. I want to be here for you and them.”
“Then don’t do anything stupid, okay?”
“Me, stupid?” He gave me that look that was charming and self-deprecating, and in that moment I didn’t trust it at all. I was suddenly so afraid for him that my chest was tight with it, as if I couldn’t breathe past it.
“Remember, I don’t want you to die for me, Galen; I want you to live for me.”