“Has it lessened your grief for your father?” Rhys asked.
I thought about it. “Yes, yes it has. I feel like I avenged him.”
“If my son had died at the hands of a true enemy, another sidhe worth fighting with all the magic and grace I had back then, maybe it would have been more satisfying, but I attacked people who could not hope to defend against me; I was a truly terrible power to be reckoned with on the battlefield, and I didn’t attack most of them in battle. I hunted them down in the streets, the mountains, anywhere they ran to hide; I found them, and I killed them.”
“Cel was already your enemy, Merry,” Galen said. “We all wanted him dead, because we were afraid the queen might actually give him the throne.”
Rhys said, “You didn’t kill Cel just to avenge your father, Merry; you killed him to keep all of the Unseelie safe from him, and that is worth killing for.”
“You know, most people’s pillow talk isn’t about battle and killing,” I said.
“Boring people,” Galen said.
“Very boring,” Rhys said.
“I don’t know, sometimes I think it might be nice to be a little boring if it would keep us from having to kill people, or keep them from trying to kill us.”
To that there was nothing to say, because we all agreed, that would be nice. “‘May you live in interesting times.’ It sounds so positive, but it’s not,” I said.
“That’s an Arabic curse, you know: ‘May you live in interesting times,’” Rhys said.
“I thought it was Chinese,” Galen said.
“Either way, Merry’s right; a little boring routine might be nice for a lifetime.”
“If you want boring and routine, you’re in the wrong bed,” I said.
He turned in my arms so he could look at me. “Am I? Well, then let’s do something that’s not boring, or routine, shall we?”
I laughed. “We just did that.”
He grinned. “Let’s do it again.” He looked across me at the other man. “Unless you aren’t up to it again this soon.”
Galen grinned back. “You’re the older man in this bed; I’m a young one, I’ll keep up.”
“Old, really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“If I could have intercourse, you could actually prove who can keep up, but you can’t just keep doing me by hand and have me suck you; I’ll strain a muscle in my tongue.”
That made them look down at me, surprised, and then they laughed, we all laughed, but when the laughter stopped we did one more round of “not boring, and not routine,” and lying between the two of them with the radiance of our bodies making colored shadows on the ceiling, so that our magic was brighter than the sunlight itself, I owned that maybe I didn’t want boring and routine anything, but safety for me and the babies and the men I loved, that I did want. Can you be safe and live an interesting life? Maybe not.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
QUEEN ANDAIS WAS on the large mirror in the dining room again, but it was a very different call. She was wearing a sleek black pantsuit that covered almost all of her; only the lack of a shirt underneath the vest left more cle**age than Auntie Andais should probably have been flashing around her nephew and nieces, but the outfit was such a concession that I wouldn’t have dared complain. This was as much as she dressed for a press conference; it was a big step in the right direction.
Her consort, Eamon, was at her side in a tailored black suit, but he’d added a round-collared white shirt with pencil-thin black stripes under his vest so he was showing far less chest.
Doyle was at my side, along with Mistral, Rhys, and Galen. Kitto was back in his place under my feet as my footstool. I’d let him know that this was an informal conference and he could pass on his role, but he had said, “I still do not believe that I am so lucky as to be one of the fathers of the babes, and I would have a place at your side, Merry, even if it is under your feet.” What could I say to that?
Kitto was wearing yoga pants today, shirtless, no shoes, because the men were working out after the call. Doyle had insisted everyone learn how to protect themselves at least a little, no exceptions. Doyle and Galen were in jeans, and it was slacks for Rhys and Mistral, because their weaponry needed a belt and fitted waistband to fit properly. They’d change after the phone call. Doyle’s weapons blended in with his all-black clothing, but Galen’s blue jeans and green T-shirt showed every weapon he had. Mistral and Rhys were in suits with jackets designed to go over weapons, so it was less obvious. One of the exiled lesser fey here in L. A. had built them all leather holsters that were magically less visible under clothes, but the men had decided they wanted the queen to see that they were armed. Well, except for the pregnant lady. I knew how to use a gun and a sword, but when my doctor approved it I was joining the training. It probably wouldn’t have helped me against Taranis, but I wanted more options if there was ever a next time. I was wearing one of the purple dresses that was actually fitted around the waist. It was good to be back in real clothes again, though the strappy black sandals with their stiletto heels were just for show. I so wasn’t ready to walk in anything like that yet. We’d learned that Kitto liked feeling heels in his back during sex, so he was very okay with the shoes.
“You must make Taranis afraid of you, Meredith; only fear will hold him in check.” She’d requested to see the babies, but we were talking business first.
“He’s already attacked Doyle, and we believe that was motivated out of fear. The king would not willingly meet him in a duel,” I said.
“Yes, he feared the Queen’s Darkness, but he does not fear Doyle in the same way. He feared me, Meredith, and my Darkness as an extension of me, but without my protection and threat he sees Doyle as only your strong right hand; chop that hand off and it makes you even weaker than you are. You must make Taranis fear you, Meredith, you and no other, if you are to rule the Unseelie Court. If he does not fear you, then it is only a matter of time before the Seelie try to take your throne and combine it with theirs.”
“He’s made it clear that he would welcome me as his queen,” I said, and looked carefully at nothing when I said it, because I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my eyes and Andais had used my emotion against me for years.
“I thought about using his rape of you as a reason to challenge him to a duel.”
That made me look at her again. “I didn’t think you cared that much about my fate, Aunt Andais.”
“It’s not your fate, Meredith, it’s the insult of him thinking he could kidnap and attack my heir with no retribution.”
“Of course, it’s an insult to you,” I said, and just shook my head. She didn’t understand that she’d just admitted that what happened to me was important only because it showed a lack of respect for her.
Eamon laid a hand on her shoulder and looked at me. His face showed that he at least understood, and understood that she didn’t. I tried to tell him with my eyes that I appreciated it. Andais went on talking, oblivious.
She said, “It is, but I believe Taranis is actually insane. He has convinced himself that you went willingly with him and were kidnapped from him by the evil Unseelie. The King of Light and Illusion seems to be truly deluded.”
“I agree,” I said.
“He babbles of taking you as queen if he can only strip you of the abusive Unseelie that are poisoning your mind against him. If I wanted to strip you of your protection I, too, would begin with the Princess’s Darkness. It really doesn’t have the same ring as the Queen’s Darkness, does it?”
“No, Aunt Andais, it does not.”
She looked just past my shoulder to where Doyle stood, as he had once stood by her, though he had his hand on my shoulder, a gesture I don’t think I’d ever seen him make to her. I raised my hand to lay it over his.
“No need to remind me that I neglected my Darkness.”
“I didn’t touch his hand to remind you of anything, Aunt Andais; I did it because I wanted to touch him.”
She made a small movement with her mouth that meant she was unhappy, and then smoothed it into a smile. She really was trying, on this first call since I’d laid down my ultimatum that she behave like a sane person or she couldn’t see the babies.