At first the memories had hounded him constantly, dragging him into an ugly pit of despair. Now they only haunted him once a day. Time hadn't erased the pain. It only made it easier for him to project the image that he was all right.
He'd become a master of pretense and illusion. He'd learned as a young child how to hide in the Amazon jungle, camouflaging himself so he couldn't be seen. Now he was able to hide in plain sight. No one knew the real him. No one...except Fernando.
Since the Summer of Death, Carlos had gone on a total of five expeditions. All had failed. He took a deep breath to steel his resolve. It didn't matter if this last glimpse of hope teetered on a vague rumor. He would keep hunting until he succeeded.
He wandered over to the wall of surveillance monitors. The daily deluge of pain had faded away for the time being. Angus was bragging about how well his godson, Tino, could play basketball.
Carlos was glad the birthday boy's team had won, but the shape shifter team had come mighty close to victory. If he had caught that last pass, the Claws would have won. He didn't want to dwell on the cause of his stupid mistake. Her.
He'd never felt such an immediate attraction before. A potent mix of desire and passion had slammed into him like a charging bull, leaving him dazed and breathless. Proof positive that he'd gone too long without a woman. For a few glorious seconds he thought he'd found the perfect woman.
But one sniff had crushed his hopes. Reality had crashed down on him so hard, he'd hardly felt the ball smacking him upside the head. She wasn't a shifter. She wasn't the one for him. The sooner he found his true mate, the better.
He studied the monitors. No one in the parking lot or the foyer. The hallways were empty. Everyone seemed to be in the cafeteria partying. He should be there with his adopted children. But he'd needed to talk to Angus about the new expedition.
And he needed to avoid her.
His chest tightened when he spotted her on a monitor. She was approaching the edge of the garden where it melded into the woods. Her bright yellow sweater and blond hair made her look like sunshine in the midst of darkness. What was she doing here? If she'd come for Tino's party, why was she missing it?
"Who is she?" He pointed to the monitor, attempting to keep his manner nonchalant.
Howard glanced up. "That's Caitlyn Whelan, Shanna's sister."
Carlos's hand curled into a fist. Merda. Sean Whelan was her father? The man was a bigoted fool. Still, he was not someone the Vamps wanted to anger. They needed their alliance with him in order to defeat the Malcontents and keep themselves safe.
That meant Carlos needed to stay away from his daughter. A dalliance would upset Sean and the Vamps.
But to be honest, Carlos had already known she was forbidden. She was a disaster disguised as paradise, the kind of woman a man could never forget and never leave. He couldn't allow himself anywhere near her. His fate was written in stone. To ensure the survival of his species, he had to find a mate just like him.
Angus sauntered toward the wall of monitors. "She looks a lot like her sister."
Not at all, Carlos thought. Her eyes were more turquoise in color. Her face was more oval-shaped. Her nose was sprinkled with a few freckles. Her hair was longer and a more golden shade than Shanna's strawberry blond hair. He shook his head ruefully. Was there nothing he hadn't noticed about her and already committed to memory?
Howard leaned back in his chair behind the desk. "Did you know Sean didn't tell her that Shanna was married or had children?"
"Och, what an arse," Angus muttered.
When it came to Sean Whelan, Carlos was tempted to use more colorful language. "She's missing the party."
"She's probably in shock." Howard propped his feet up on the desk. "Shanna was going to tell her about vampires."
Angus nodded. "That was Emma's idea. She thought it would be better for Caitlyn to hear the news from her sister." He glanced at her on the monitor. "She seems to be taking it well."
Howard snorted. "Because she's not running for her car, screaming her head off?"
Carlos gave Angus a curious look. "Why did Emma want her to know the truth?"
"We're hoping to hire her."
"What?" Carlos stepped back.
"We'd rather have her working for us than for her father and his bloody Stake-Out team."
Carlos gulped. He couldn't work alongside her. If they stationed her here at Romatech, he'd have to put in for a transfer. Better yet, he'd just depart immediately for Bangkok. "I need to leave on my trip right away."
"What trip?" Howard asked.
Carlos quickly explained. "I'll take the first available flight."
Angus's brow creased with a frown. "Why the big hurry?"
"Why not?" Carlos countered. "Things are slow right now, with Casimir and the Malcontents in hiding. You don't really need me here. And you know I have to find a mate. I've been looking for five years. I'm not getting any younger."
"I understand, lad." Angus rested a hand on his shoulder. "I'm just concerned about yer children. I hear they're having some trouble adjusting to the new school and new country. I'm no' sure ye should be leaving them right now."
Carlos groaned inwardly. He knew the orphans were having a rough time. All the more reason for him to find a mate. Coco was only six years old. Raquel was nine, and Teresa twelve. They needed a mother. They needed a woman who could guide them through the shape shifting process when they reached puberty. The change could happen any time now for Teresa. Carlos could feel the clock ticking.
Angus's cell phone rang, and he retrieved it from his pocket. "Aye, I'll be there soon."
The big Scotsman's normally gruff voice had softened, a sure sign he was talking to his wife, Emma. His eyes widened. "They're missing? Doona worry, sweetheart. We'll find them." He hung up.
"Who's missing?" Carlos asked.
"Coco and Raquel." Angus studied the monitors. "Emma was fetching cake and ice cream for the children, and when she came back to the table, the two lassies were gone."
Howard dropped his feet to the floor with a thud and stood. "They couldn't have gone far."
Carlos felt the usual heaviness in his chest whenever a problem arose with the children. They were suffering, and he didn't have a clue how to make it better. His pretense that everything was fine wasn't working. He knew how to save people physically, but emotionally? Whenever the children looked at him with all that pain glimmering in their teary eyes, he cringed inside.
He spotted movement on a monitor that showed the garden. Someone was hiding behind a big rhododendron. His heart twinged. The poor girls didn't want to be found.
He motioned to the quivering bush. "They're hiding there. I'll get them." He could return them to the party, but God help him, he didn't know what to tell them. For the last few years, he'd entertained them with jokes, amateur magic tricks, and trips to the ice cream parlor to make the tears go away. It wasn't enough, but how could he open his heart when all he had to offer was pain and despair?
He left the security office and trudged down the hallway to the side exit. The heaviness in his chest bore down on him, making it hard to breathe. The orphans thought he was their hero, the bravest man in the world, the one who had rescued them from a horrible death.
He couldn't let them know the truth. He was brave enough to face the physical pain of death, but when it came to emotional pain, he was a clueless pretender. Worse than that, he thought with a snort. He was a damned coward.
Caitlyn was deep in thought as she sat on the bench beneath the oak tree. If vampires were real, what other strange creatures could exist? Elves? The tooth fairy? Big Foot?
A sound close by made her jump. She turned and spotted someone behind the oak tree. Definitely not Big Foot. Not big at all.
She rose to her feet. "Hello?"
The little girl peered around the tree. Tears glistened in her big brown eyes and her bottom lip trembled.
"Coco, no," another girl whispered from behind a nearby bush. Her voice carried a slight accent and sounded tense with pain. "Leave the lady alone."
"It's all right," Caitlyn assured them. Were these hybrid children like Constantine? Whatever they were, they were certainly upset.
Coco rounded the tree and approached Caitlyn quietly. She had a lost, frightened look in her eyes that Caitlyn had seen many times in her life, every time a stray kitten or puppy came to her for help.