Only she hadn't been dead-just wishing for it while her body was worked on with all kinds of "instruments." And the whole chivalrous, hero-on-a-white-horse act hadn't gone well for her avenger. Murhder had been driven mad. He'd thought he was rescuing a vampire, but surprise! He was actually risking his life to bring home a symphath.
Oops. Guess she forgot to tell her lover that little part.
She wished she had revealed herself. Considering what she was, he'd had a right to know, and maybe if he had, he'd still be in the Brotherhood. Maybe mated to a nice female. Definitely wouldn't have lost his sanity and taken off for God only knew where.
Avenging was dangerous business, wasn't it. In the case of Chrissy, it was fine. Everything had worked out. But sometimes what you sought to honor wasn't worth the effort.
Xhex hadn't been, and it hadn't just cost Murhder his mind. And Rehv was still paying for her mistakes.
She thought of John Matthew and wished like hell she hadn't f**ked him. Murhder had been a casual thing for her. John Matthew? Going by the ache in the center of her chest every time she thought of him, she suspected he was a lot more than that-which was why she was trying to lock out of her mind what had happened between them back at her basement place.
The problem was how John Matthew had been with her. The tenderness he had shown threatened to crack her in half, his emotions everything that was soft and gentle and respectful...loving-even though he knew what she was. She'd had to shut him down hard because unless he'd cut that shit, she'd been in danger of pressing her lips to his and losing herself completely.
John Matthew was her well of soul, as the symphaths called it, or her pyrocant, to the vampires. Her essential weakness.
And she was very weak when it came to him.
With a wave of pain, she pictured him on that security monitor with his hands all over Gina. Like the barbed bands she wore, the image overwhelmed her with agony, and she couldn't help thinking that she deserved what it was going to be like to watch him drown himself in mindless, empty sex.
She turned off the shower, picked up her cilices and the knife from the slick marble flooring, and stepped out, dumping all her metal in a sink to drip-dry.
As she put one of Rehv's superluxurious black towels to use, she wished it-
"Were sandpaper, right?" Rehv drawled from the doorway.
Xhex paused with the towel across her back and looked into the mirror. Rehv was lounging against the jamb, his sable coat turning him into a great bear of a male, his mohawk and his sharp purple eyes testifying to his warrior side in spite of all the metrosexual clothes he wore.
"How did tonight go?" she asked, putting one foot up on the counter and running the black terry cloth down to her ankle.
"I might ask you the same thing. What the f**k's going on with you?"
"Nothing." She put her other leg up. "So how was the meeting?"
Rehv kept his eyes on hers, not because he was respecting the fact that she was buck-ass naked, but because he honestly didn't care one way or another. Hell, he'd be the same with Trez or iAm flashing their ass: She'd long ago ceased to be female to him even though they fed from each other.
Maybe that was what she liked about John Matthew. He'd looked at her and touched her and treated her like she was a female. Like she were precious.
Not because she wasn't as strong as he was, but because she was rare and special-
Christ. Spare her from the estrogen. And that would all be in the past tense now, anyway.
"The meeting?" she prompted.
"Fine. Be that way. As for the council? They didn't show, but this did." Rehv took a long flat envelope out of his breast pocket and tossed it onto the counter. "I'll let you read it later. Needless to say my secret's been known for quite some time. Stepdad blabbed on the way to the Fade, and it was a miracle the shit didn't get out before now."
"Son of a bitch."
"That's an affidavit, by the way. Not some kind of random scribble on the back of a napkin." Rehv shook his head. "I'm going to have to get into that house of Montrag's. See if there are any more copies around."
"I can do it."
Those amethyst eyes narrowed. "No offense, but I'll pass on the offer. You don't look right."
"That's just because you haven't seen me without clothes on in a while. Get me in leather and you'll be back to knowing I'm a hard-ass."
Rehv's eyes went down to the ragged wounds around her thighs. "Hard to imagine you got on me about what I was doing to my arm, considering what those pins of yours look like."
She covered herself up with the towel. "I'll go over to Montrag's place today."
"Why were you taking a shower?"
"Because I was all bloody."
The smile that stretched Rehv's mouth and revealed his fangs was all about the throw-down. "You found Grady."
"Yup."
"Niiiiiiice."
"We should expect a visit from the CPD sometime very soon."
"Looking forward to it."
Xhex patted dry her cilices and her knife, then walked past Rehv and went into the two square feet of his closet that were hers. Taking out a fresh pair of leathers and a black muscle shirt, she glanced over her shoulder.
"You mind giving me a little privacy."
"You're putting those damn things on again?"
"How's your dopamine supply?"
Rehv chuckled and headed for the door. "I'll take care of searching Montrag's place. You've done enough dirty work for other people lately."
"I can handle it."
"Doesn't mean you should have to." He reached into his pocket and took out his cell phone. "Fuck, I forgot to turn this thing back on."
When the screen lit up, he looked down and his emotions...flickered.
His emotions actually flickered.
Maybe it was because her cilices were off and her symphath side didn't take long to come forward, but she couldn't keep herself from focusing on him hard, the weakness he sported making her curious.
What she noticed, though, was not so much his emotional grid...but the fact that his scent was different.
"You've fed from someone," she said.
Rehv froze, giving himself away by the stillness of that big body of his.
"Don't even try to lie," she murmured. "I can smell it."
Rehv shrugged, and she got ready for a whole lot of no-big-dealing. He even opened his mouth, his hard face assuming the bored expression he used to distance people.
Except he didn't say a thing. Didn't seem to be able to muster the blow-off.
"Wow." Xhex shook her head. "Serious stuff, huh."
Ignoring the question was evidently the best he could do. "When you're ready, let's meet with Trez and iAm and do the status update before closing."
Rehv turned on his loafers and went back out into the office.
Funny, she thought to herself, as she picked up one of the steel bands and got ready to crank it around her thigh, she'd never expected to see him like that. Ever.
Made her wonder who it was. And how much the female knew about him.
Rehv went to his desk and sat down, phone in his hand. Ehlena had called and left a message, but instead of wasting time to listen to it, he called up her contact info and-
The call that came through was the only one that would have diverted him from finishing the dial action. He answered and said, "Which Brother am I talking to?"
"Vishous."
"What's doing, man."
"Nothing good, true?"
The flat tone of the guy's voice made Rehv think of car accidents. Bad ones that required the Jaws of Life to free bodies. "Tell me."
The Brother talked and talked and talked. E-mail. Cover blown. Deportation.
There must have been a long stretch of silence at that point, because Rehv heard his name. "You there? Rehvenge? Yo, man?"
"Yeah, I'm here." Kind of. He was a little distracted by the dull roar in his head, like the building he was in was caving in all around him.
"Did you hear what I asked you?"
"Ah...no." The roaring sound grew so loud, he was sure the club had been bombed and the walls were crumbling and the roof coming down.
"I tried to trace the e-mail and I almost think it's coming from an IP address up north near the colony, if not actually within it. I really don't think this came from a vampire at all. Do you know anyone up there who might try to blow your cover?"
So the princess had lost interest in playing blackmail games. "No."