A crowd, sensing trouble, was beginning to gather. Miles stared hard at Otis, who returned the gaze without moving. Otis’s brother had moved off to the side, as if getting ready to jump in if he needed to.
“Let’s just go,” Sarah said a little more forcefully, doing her best to keep this from getting any more out of hand. She took Miles by the arm and tugged. “Come on… please, Miles,” she pleaded.
It was enough to get his attention. Sarah grabbed both their jackets, stowing them under her arm as she pulled him through the crowd. People parted before them, and a minute later they were outside. Miles shook her hand from his arm, angry at Otis, angry at himself for almost losing control, and stalked down the alley, out toward the street. Sarah followed a few steps behind, pausing to put her jacket on.
“Miles… wait…”
It took a moment for the words to sink in, and Miles finally stopped, looking toward the ground. When she approached, holding out his jacket, Miles didn’t seem to notice.
“I’m sorry about all that,” he said, unable to meet her eyes. “You didn’t do anything, Miles,” she said. When he didn’t respond, Sarah moved closer. “Are you okay?” she asked softly.
“Yeah… I’m okay.” His voice was so low that she barely heard it. For a moment, he looked exactly like Jonah when she assigned too much work. “You don’t look okay,” she finally said. “In fact, you look pretty terrible.” Despite his anger, he laughed under his breath. “Thanks a lot.” On the street, a car rolled by, looking for a parking space. A cigarette sailed out the window, landing in the gutter. It was colder now, too cold to stay in one place, and Miles reached for his jacket and slipped it on. Without a word, they set off down the street. Once they reached the corner, Sarah broke the silence.
“Can I ask what that was all about in there?”
After a long moment, Miles shrugged. “It’s a long story.”
“They usually are.”
They took a few steps, their footsteps the only sound on the streets.
“We have a history,” Miles finally offered. “Not a very good one.”
“I picked up on that part,” she said. “I’m not exactly dense, you know.”
Miles didn’t respond.
“Look, if you’d rather not talk about it…”
It offered Miles a way out, and he almost took her up on it. Instead, however, he pushed his hands into his pockets and closed his eyes for a long moment. Over the next few minutes, he told Sarah everything-about the arrests over the years, the vandalism in and around his home, the cut on Jonah’s cheek-ending with the latest arrest and even Charlie’s warning. As he talked, they wound back through downtown, past the closed-up businesses and the Episcopal church, finally crossing Front Street and heading into the park at Union Point. Through it all, Sarah listened quietly. When he was finished, she looked up at him. “I’m sorry I stopped you,” she said quietly. “I should have let you beat him to a pulp.”
“No, I’m glad you did. He’s not worth it.”
They passed the old women’s club, once a quaint meeting place but long since abandoned, and the ruins of the building seemed to encourage silence, almost as if they were in a cemetery. Years of flooding by the Neuse had rendered the building all but uninhabitable except for birds and other assorted wildlife. Once Miles and Sarah neared the riverbank, they stopped to stare at the tar-colored water of the Neuse drifting slowly before them. Water slapped against the marlstone along the banks in a steady rhythm. “Tell me about Missy,” she said finally, breaking the stillness that had settled over them.
“Missy?”
“I’d like to know what she was like,” she said honestly. “She’s a big part of who you are, but I don’t know anything about her.”
After a moment, Miles shook his head. “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
“Well… what do you miss the most?”
Across the river, a mile distant, he could see flickering porch lights, bright pinpricks in the distance that seemed to hang in the air like fireflies on hot summer nights.
“I miss having her around,” he began. “Just being there when I got off work, or waking up beside her, or seeing her in the kitchen or out in the yard-anywhere. Even if we didn’t have much time, there was something special in knowing that she would be there if I needed her. And she would have been. We’d been married long enough to go through all those stages that married people go through-the good, the not so good, even the bad-and we’d settled into something that worked for both of us. We were both kids when we started out, and we knew people who got married around the same time we did. After seven years, a lot of friends had divorced and a few had already gotten remarried.” He turned from the river to face her. “But we made it, you know? I look back on that, and it’s something that I’m proud of, because I know how rare it was. I never regretted the fact that I’d married her. Never.”
Miles cleared his throat.
“We used to spend hours just talking about everything, or about nothing. It didn’t really matter. She loved books and she used to tell me all the stories she was reading, and she could do it in a way that made me want to read them, too. I remember she used to read in bed and sometimes I’d wake up in the middle of the night and she’d be sound asleep with the book on the end table with her reading light still on. I’d have to get out of bed to turn it off. That happened more often after Jonah was born-she was tired all the time, but even then, she had a way of acting like she wasn’t. She was wonderful with him. I remember when Jonah started trying to walk. He was about seven months old, which is way too early. I mean, he couldn’t even crawl yet, but he wanted to walk. She spent weeks walking through the house all bent over so he could hold her fingers, just because he liked it. She’d be so sore in the evenings that unless I gave her a massage, she wouldn’t be able to move the next day. But you know…” He paused, meeting Sarah’s eyes.
“She never complained about it. I think it was what she was meant to do. She used to tell me that she wanted to have four kids, but after Jonah, I kept coming up with excuses why it wasn’t the right time, until she finally put her foot down. She wanted Jonah to have brothers and sisters, and I realized that I did, too. I know from experience how hard it is to be an only child, and I wish I’d listened to her earlier. For Jonah, I mean.”
Sarah swallowed before squeezing his arm in support. “She sounds great.”
On the river, a trawler was inching its way up the channel, engines humming. When the breeze drifted in his direction, Miles caught the barest hint of the honeysuckle shampoo she’d used.
For a while they stood in companionable silence, the comfort of each other’s presence cocooning them like a warm blanket in the dark. It was getting late now. Time to call it a night. As much as he wished he could make the night last forever, he knew he couldn’t. Mrs. Knowlson expected him home by midnight.
“We should go,” he said.
Five minutes later, outside her building, Sarah let go of his arm so she could search for her keys.
“I had a good time tonight,” she said.
“So did I.”
“And I’ll see you tomorrow?”
It took a second before he remembered that she was going to Jonah’s game. “Don’t forget-it starts at nine.”
“Do you know what field?”
“I have no idea, but we’ll be there. I’ll watch for you.”
In the brief lull that followed, Sarah thought that Miles might try to kiss her, but he surprised her by taking a small step backward.
“Listen… I gotta go…”
“I know,” she said, both glad and disappointed that he hadn’t tried. “Drive safe.”
Sarah watched him head around the corner toward a small silver pickup truck and open the door, slipping behind the wheel. He waved one last time before starting the engine.
She stood on the sidewalk staring after his taillights until long after he was gone.
Chapter 12
Sarah made it to the soccer game the following morning a few minutes before the game started. Dressed in jeans and boots with a thick turtleneck sweater and sunglasses, she stood out among the harried-looking parents. How she could look both casual and elegant at the same time was beyond Miles. Jonah, who was kicking the ball with a group of friends, spotted her across the field and ran toward her to give her a hug. He took her hand and dragged her toward Miles.
“Look who I found, Dad,” he said a minute later. “Miss Andrews is here.”
“I see that,” Miles answered, running his hand through Jonah’s hair.
“She looked lost,” Jonah offered. “So I went to get her.”
“What would I do without you, champ?” He gazed at Sarah.
“You’re beautiful and charming, and I can’t stop thinking about last night.” No, he didn’t say that. Not exactly, anyway. What Sarah heard was, “Hey-how are you?”
“Good,” she answered. “It’s a little early to start my weekend mornings, though.
It sorta felt like I was heading off to work.”
Over her shoulder, Miles saw the team beginning to cluster together, and he used it as an excuse to escape her gaze. “Jonah, I think your coach just got here..
..”
Jonah’s head swiveled around and he started struggling with his sweatshirt before Miles helped him take it off. When his head was free, Miles tucked the sweatshirt under his arm.
“Where’s my ball?”
“Weren’t you just kicking it around a little while ago?”
“Yeah.”
“Then where is it?”
“I don’t know.”
Miles dropped to one knee and began tucking Jonah’s shirt in. “We’ll find it later. I don’t think you need it now, anyway.”
“But the coach said we had to bring it for the warm-up.”
“Just borrow someone else’s.”
“Then what will they use?” There was a tinge of worry in his tone.
“You’ll be fine. Go on. The coach is waiting.”
“Are you sure?”
“Trust me.”
“But-”
“Go on. They’re waiting for you.”
A moment later, after debating whether or not his father was right, Jonah finally scrambled toward his team. Sarah watched it all with a bemused smile, enjoying their interaction.
Miles motioned to the bag. “Do you want a cup of coffee? I brought a thermos.”
“No, that’s okay. I had some tea before I got here.”
“Herbal?”
“Earl Grey, actually.”
“With toast and jelly?”
“No, with my cereal. Why?”
Miles nodded. “Just curious.”
A whistle blew and the teams began to gather on the infield, setting up for the game.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“As long as it’s not about my breakfast,” she countered.
“It might sound strange.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
Miles cleared his throat. “Well, I was just wondering whether you wrap your head in a towel after you take a shower.”
Her jaw dropped open. “Excuse me?”
“You know, after you shower. Do you wrap your head or do you style it right away?”
She looked at him closely. “You’re funny.”
“That’s what they say.”
“Who says?”
“Them.”
“Oh.”
The whistle blew again, and the game started.
“So… do you?” he persisted.
“Yes,” she said finally with a mystified laugh. “I wrap my head in a towel.”
He nodded, satisfied. “I thought so.”
“Did you ever think about cutting back on the caffeine?”
Miles shook his head. “Never.”
“You should.”
He took another drink to hide his pleasure. “I’ve heard that.”
***
Forty minutes later the game was over, and despite Jonah’s best efforts, his team lost, not that he seemed all that upset about it. After slapping hands with the other players, Jonah ran toward his father, his friend Mark right behind him.
“You two played well out there,” Miles assured both boys. There was the murmur of distracted thanks from both of them before Jonah tugged on his dad’s sweater.
“Hey, Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“Mark asked if I could spend the night.”
Miles looked at Mark for confirmation. “He did?”
Mark nodded. “It’s okay with my mom, but you can talk to her if you want. She’s right over there. Zach is coming, too.”
“C’mon, Dad. Please? I’ll do my chores as soon as I get home,” Jonah added.
“I’ll even do extra.”
Miles hesitated. It was fine… but at the same time, it wasn’t. He liked having Jonah around. The house was lonely without him. “All right, if you really want to go-” Jonah smiled excitedly, not waiting for him to finish. “Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”
“Thanks, Mr. Ryan,” Mark said. “C’mon, Jonah. Let’s go tell my mom it’s okay.” They jogged off, pushing each other and veering through the crowd, laughing the whole way. Miles turned to Sarah, who was watching them go. “He looks pretty broken up about the fact he won’t see me tonight.”
“Absolutely crushed,” Sarah agreed with a nod.
“We were supposed to rent a movie together, you know.”
Sarah shrugged. “It must be terrible to be forgotten so easily.”
Miles laughed. He was smitten with her, no doubt about it. Really smitten.