Reese: Jolly good!
Cade: I’m picturing you saying that in a horrible accent.
Reese: You should see the look my wife gave me, too.
Cade: How’s the pregnancy going?
Reese: Her ankles are almost as big as her belly. And if she finds out I told you that, she’ll kill me.
Reese: But she’s gorgeous. I mentioned that, right? I mean, she likes pickles on everything at the moment. Like, if I want to get action, I need to douse my dick in pickle juice. But she’s stunning. Radiant. We’re trying to decide on names at the moment.
Cade: Good for you two.
Reese: So I guess that means you don’t want to hear our choices? By the way, you’re not going to miss much at the meeting. My sister-in-law’s going to be there and Griffin’s bringing his woman. Someone mentioned the dreaded words “bridesmaid colors.”
Cade: When did our band of men turn into a hen party?
Reese: The moment everyone started getting their dick wet on a regular basis. Happens to all guys.
Cade: Guess so.
Reese: So . . . how’s that Daphne thing going?
Cade: She’s a hot mess. Still using.
Reese: You ever nail the other girl?
Cade: Better. I married her.
Reese: Bro . . . we got to talk about this playboy thing. You are doing it all wrong.
Cade: I will cheerfully give up all my playboy days if I can keep this one.
Reese: I’d say you’re an idiot, but Audrey is here at my side and making little cooing noises about you getting married, so I get it. I really get it.
Cade: Tell Audrey it’s a secret! We’re not telling Daph. For reasons.
Reese: Shit. I’ll make something up. Got it, bro.
Cade: Later, man. Have fun tonight picking out colors.
Reese: Fuck you.
—
Cade: Hey Daph, you there?
Cade: Daph? Answer me.
Cade: Come on. I know you’re there. Don’t be like this.
Daphne: Maybe.
Cade: I’m just checking in to see how you’re feeling. How’s the tour going?
Daphne: It’s fine.
Cade: I’m sorry I won’t be able to make it for a few weeks. I have business overseas. I’m typing this in London as we speak.
Daphne:
Cade: I promise I’ll come visit when I get back, though?
Daphne: I miss u
Cade: I miss you, too, Daph. You’re a great friend. Have some kickass shows, okay?
Daphne: Will do.
—
Cade: I just had to tell Daphne I miss her. Please don’t hate me.
Kylie: Whatever you said was the right thing. She’s smiling and happy at the moment . . . though that might be the weed she’s smoking.
Cade: Ugh.
Kylie: I know, trust me, I know.
Cade: Feels like I’ve been gone forever.
Kylie: It’s been three hours.
Cade: Still feels like forever.
Kylie: I need to go—Ginger’s coming back to front of bus. XOXO
Later that night
Cade: Can you talk?
Kylie: Wow, it’s really late. You’re still up?
Cade: Just woke up. It’s seven a.m. London time. Did you miss me?
Kylie: I might have. Just a bit.
Cade: I missed you and those sumptuous breasts of yours. My pillow didn’t feel half as good under my head as they do.
Kylie: Is this your way of trying to finagle a photo of them out of me?
Cade: Is it working?
Kylie: Are my panties still up on the table?
Cade: I’m afraid I have to keep them a bit longer. They . . . kept me company last night.
Kylie: You naughty boy.
Cade: Being with you makes me naughty.
Kylie: Just for that sweet comment, I’ll attach a picture.
Kylie: Did you get it?
Cade: Christ almighty.
Cade: That . . . is incredible.
Cade: I think I need a moment. And a private room. And possibly a cold shower.
Kylie: They’re just boobs. Big naked boobs.
Cade: They are not just boobs. They are THE boobs. The best boobs I have ever seen.
Kylie: You’re quickly earning yourself another picture tomorrow. But I want one of you, too.
Cade: Alas, my boobs are less magnificent than yours.
Kylie: First of all, “alas”?? You texted me “alas”??
Cade: You texted me “finagle” the other day!
Kylie: Second of all, I don’t need a boob shot of you. I need a picture of your handsome face.
Cade: I can do that. Sending later . . . if I get another shot of your lovely face in with your boobs.
Kylie: I can do that.
Next day
Daphne: My show was great tonight. Ur welcome!
Cade: Good job.
Daphne: So when r u coming 2 see me again?
Cade: Soon, Daph. I’m busy with work right now.
Daphne: Ugh. U and ur work. Why do I even bother?
Daphne: Ur not fucking around on me, r u?
Daphne: Hello? Cade?
Daphne: Cade?
Two days later
Daphne: I’m sorry. Talk 2 me.
Cade: Sometimes I don’t know what to say to you.
Daphne: Sometimes I don’t know what goes thru my head.
Daphne: Just be here 4 me, k?
Cade: Daphne. You know I care for you. But you also know we’re not together.
Daphne: Not . . . YET. But I’m working hard. Clean as a whistle. Yessiree.
Cade: That’s great. Has your manager been helping you get clean?
Daphne: Naw, I got this covered.
Cade: Would you be willing to take a test just to prove it?
Cade: Hello?
Cade: Daphne?
Daphne: Gotta go talk 2 u later bb!
—
The last two weeks had been two of the longest in Cade’s memory. Never before had he been so antsy to get away from business. Never before had he regretted the endless schedule of meetings followed by corporate dinners and happy hour cocktails. Never had he felt the intense desire to cancel his entire schedule and just say Fuck it, you know what? Your schematics are fine. No need to have additional meetings.