It felt strangely horrible to not include her in my excitement. I was so used to telling her everything, no matter how small, and this was huge for me. Holding back from her made me feel incomplete, like I was constantly forgetting something. But I knew what would happen if I told Anna the truth, and because I wanted this so badly, I maintained the lie. It was temporary anyway. Once the show got picked up, I would have to come clean to her and the guys. Even if I was ordered to keep quiet, I wouldn’t be able to hold that shit in.
I was anxious to start filming, and I often practiced my acting technique in the bathroom. But memorizing the script was harder than I thought. I hoped they let me cheat while filming, have someone saying the lines in my ear or holding up cue cards that I could glance at. Something.
By the first part of December, the D-Bags were putting the finishing touches on our third album. Matt was stoked about it, said it was our best one yet. Considering the fact that they’d shot down every single one of my ideas, I wasn’t so sure it was anything more than mediocre. It saddened me that the guys refused to listen to me, refused to let me guide our band to epicness. For all of Matt and Kellan’s pretty words about pushing the envelope, they were sticking with the status quo. It was disappointing, to say the least. But I had bigger and better things on my horizon, so for once, I wasn’t worried about it.
I wasn’t worried about the album, but I was a little concerned about what I was going to tell the guys when it was time to fly to L.A. to film the pilot. I’d have to explain my absence somehow, and I had no idea what to say. “I’m blowing you guys off for a while” probably wouldn’t go over too well. It was a Saturday afternoon in mid-December when I finally got the call from Harold that I’d been waiting for.
“Mr. Hancock, I hope you’re having a great afternoon. All ready for Christmas?”
Even though he couldn’t see me, I shrugged. “Yeah, guess so.” Anna had been shopping for the girls almost nonstop. I swear our house had enough pink and purple presents in it to fill about six Toys for Tots trucks. She claimed most of them were small items, but I didn’t care. Kids should be spoiled, no harm in that.
My gift to Anna was better than anything she’d picked up for the girls though. Not long after Onnika’s baptism, I’d gotten one-way plane tickets for all of my relatives and sent them packing. Our house was blissfully quiet again. My parents were already trying to plan a return trip for the holidays, but I told them they’d have to wait until the next baby. God, I hoped Anna didn’t get knocked up again too soon. She’d kill me.
“That’s great!” Harold exclaimed. His tone never truly changed much, even when I was doing my best to either annoy him or embarrass him. It was like he was always in a great mood, no matter what was happening. I think I could have told him I was contemplating ending it all over the holidays and he would have answered me the same way. He reminded me of Jenny, but in an unrealistic way, like he silently cursed me the second he hung up the phone. Whatever. So long as he made me famous, I didn’t care what he thought about me.
“Good news, Mr. Hancock, everything is ready and we’re all set to film the pilot episode on Monday. Pack your bags, it’s time to come to L.A.”
“Great…I’ll be there.” Somehow.
“Perfect!” He gave me some pointers on where to go and how to get there, and then said, “Everything about this show is top-notch. I can’t wait for you to see the set. See you Monday, Mr. Hancock.”
“Yep, see you then.” Frowning, I tucked my hair behind my ears. It was nearly to my shoulders now, and I could easily pull it back into a ponytail if I wanted. I loved having it loose and free though. What should I tell the guys? Would they be fine with the same thing I’d told Anna? Probably not, they’d bitch that they weren’t included. I ignored the annoying section of my brain that was shouting that I would bitch too if I were them and focused instead on my storytelling skills. Fuck, I was a horrible liar. Hmm, it had to be somewhat realistic to be believable. I’d just say I was visiting family for a while. Yeah, that would totally work.
I let the guys know I was leaving when we met up that night at Kellan’s recording studio. “Hey, so…I’m gonna be heading out of town for a while…I’m leaving tomorrow night actually.” Matt, Evan, and Kellan all twisted to look at me. We’d just finished the final pass on the last song, and everyone was putting away their instruments. I was still playing with mine, while a strange emotion ripped my belly apart. Fear? Nerves? Guilt? Nah, couldn’t be that. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I deserved this.
Matt furrowed his brow. “We just finished the album. We’ve got to get it to label so they can start production. We’ll have interviews starting soon, promotional tours, late-night TV gigs…you can’t disappear right now, Griffin. We’ve got work to do.”
I held up my hand to stop his rambling. “I know. Chill…I was just thinking of visiting my parents for a few days. Maybe check up on Chelsey. Her husband is still overseas, and she’s raising those girls alone, you know?”
Mentioning my sister softened Matt. “Oh, well, yeah, that’s fine. Just…don’t vanish or anything.”
A small smile played across my lips. Vanishing was the last thing I intended on doing.
Chapter 10
Awesometopia
The following night, I was on my way to Los Angeles to film the pilot for my sure-to-be-a-hit TV show. Anna had offered to come with me to keep me company and to check out the set of the commercial she thought I was filming. Having her there would bust apart my lie though, so I’d had no choice but to weave another half truth, something that would make her want to stay home. “It’s just a few days, babe, and I’m gonna stay with my family while I’m there. Mom wants to do a late Thanksgiving/early Christmas mega-holiday, so everyone is going to be there. It’s gonna be crazy loud.”