With the look Denny gave Kellan, it was clear he thought Kellan was an idiot for saying no. A small part of me agreed, but the majority of me felt too slighted to let that tiny rational thought slip through. “Why the fuck didn’t they want all of us? Why just Kellan?”
Denny looked uncomfortable and wouldn’t look directly at me. Then, with a sigh, he made eye contact. “They said…Kellan was the talent. Obviously, that’s just an opinion, you’re all valuable to the band.”
Matt and Evan seemed irked, but I was clearly the only one who was truly outraged. “Fuck. That. Shit. Kellan’s just one part of the band. He wouldn’t be king of the universe without us. In fact, if he did try to do a solo project, it would probably suck because we weren’t a part of it. We’re the Bags to his Douche.”
As one, they all turned to stare at me, wide-eyed. “What?” I asked, still steamed.
Matt shook his head, like he was clearing an Etch-A-Sketch. Evan turned away while Denny looked like he was plotting his next speech. Kellan was the one who answered me. “I’m not king of the universe. I know this is a team effort, Griff, that’s why I said no.”
His expression turned hard as he stared me down. “I’ve done things for this band that I’m not proud of, just for the sake of the team, so don’t you dare try to turn me into the bad guy here. I said no. I’m not doing it. End of story.” Looking pissed, he glanced between Evan and Matt. “Someone let me the fuck out of this car. I’m done talking to this idiot.”
Matt and Evan opened their doors simultaneously and stepped out. Kellan followed out Evan’s door and then dramatically slammed it shut behind him. He stormed off and Evan chased after him. Still looking like he was processing everything that had been said, Matt shut his door and walked away.
Once the guys were out of sight, Denny let out a long exhale. “What?” I muttered, sitting back in my seat.
“Has anyone ever talked to you about diplomacy before?” he asked.
“No. I’m not a fucking politician.”
He sighed again. “I’m just saying there are ways to talk to people that will get you better results than insults, swears, and belittling.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “You might try using your big words one day,” he said, his voice condescending.
Brushing off his hand, I slowly extended my middle finger. “That big enough for you? If not, I’ve got a bigger one.” I grabbed my junk and gave myself a good squeeze.
Denny shook his head, then opened his car door. “Nice chatting with you, Griffin. It’s a treat, as always.”
“Yeah, I know,” I said as he closed the door.
Now alone with my thoughts, I started simmering in my anger. Fucking Kellan. Fucking Denny. Fucking D-Bags. I was quickly getting tired of all of them.
Anna joined me while I was still fuming in the car. “You okay?” she asked. “Things with you and Kellan seemed kind of…tense.” Her brows were bunched with concern, and she was searching my face like she was looking for injuries, like I’d been duking it out with the guys or something.
Looking at her worried expression brought the weight of the recent argument crashing down around me; I could feel it compressing against my chest like a ton of bricks. Not liking the dark path my thoughts were taking, I asked Anna, “Where are the girls?”
“My mom has them. I thought you might want to talk about what happened. Will you tell me what’s going on?” She put a hand on my thigh and started squeezing me like a cat kneading its claws. I was sure she had meant the touch to be supportive, but it just seemed nervous to me, like she was sure I was about to crack her world apart. I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to. I just needed to be ticked for a while.
With a frown, I told her, “It’s just…once again, Kellan is hogging all the glory and I’m being shoved into the background. He is the talent, my ass. You know, babe, between Kellan’s selfishness, Matt’s dickheadedness, and Evan’s indifference…I don’t know what the fuck I’m still doing with them.” I was a little surprised that I’d said it out loud, that I’d finally admitted it to her so bluntly, but the longer it lingered in the air, the more right it felt.
Anna clearly didn’t agree. Her face shifted into an alarming shade of white, and her hand tightened around my thigh so hard I could almost feel the bruise forming. “What are you saying, Griff?” Her voice was shaky, like she was on the verge of losing her composure.
She looked stressed by this conversation, and with everything on her plate right now, what with my family and the new baby, I kind of felt like a selfish dick for adding to her hardships. I knew she thought of the band as family, and she wanted me to suck it up so we could all be happy. But we weren’t. Not really. Matt, Evan, and Kellan were happy, but I was stuck. There was nothing I could do about it though. Nothing but bitch, and that wasn’t getting me anywhere.
The look in her eyes was making my stomach twist into a knot, and I felt like Sam had me in a stranglehold, but…being stuck in a rut that I couldn’t get out of felt worse. Would she stay with me if I jumped this track? I didn’t know for sure, and that scared the shit of me. Wanting to be honest, I quietly told her, “I don’t know, Anna. I just don’t know.”
Anna started patting my knee and nodding, almost obsessively. “It’s okay. We’ll come up with something together. Just don’t…don’t do anything rash. Not without talking to me first, okay?”