Matt gave me the evil eye. “Let’s just get through tonight, okay?”
Shrugging, I followed him when he started weaving through the crowd. We had plenty of time to plan a killer party. And as family, it was my duty to make sure his bachelor party was unforgettable. The night wouldn’t end until I had thoroughly embarrassed his scrawny ass. I’d need llamas, licorice, and lasers. This was going to be fun.
When we got to the section of the gallery that was clearly set up as a stage, I frowned. “Ummm…far be it from me to tell you how to do your job, but aren’t we missing some stuff? Like…almost everything?” The instruments were there, but none of the speakers, amps, and microphones. Nothing electronic at all actually.
Matt put his hands on his hips. “We talked about this. A couple times. I swear you never listen to a word we say, which is yet another reason why…” He stopped talking, like he didn’t want to get into it here. I kind of wanted him to continue. Just where the fuck was he going with that? Matt let out an annoyed huff, and instead said, “We’re in an art gallery, so we can’t do a normal set. We’re going acoustic.”
I frowned as I looked over at my sad, quiet acoustic bass. “Well, that’s lame. If we can’t play loud, what’s the point of playing at all? We can just play the freaking CD on low…then we’d have more time to drink.” I pulled out my flask and took a long gulp. It burned going down, then warmed me, head to foot. So good.
Matt looked about to curse me out—shocker—but a pair of arms wrapped around his chest. “Oh my gosh! I’m so excited! It’s going so well, don’t you think?”
Jenny pulled back to stare up at Matt. Her blue eyes were sparkling, her pearly whites were gleaming, her pale hair was glowing, and hope and goodwill for all mankind was radiating out of every pore. The word “perky” was too small an adjective for Jenny. Especially now…when she was a little tipsy. She loved everybody at the moment, probably even me.
While Matt tried to smile through his nerves, Evan unwrapped his fiancée from him. “Babe, remember what I said about tackling the guests? We want them to come back after tonight.” Evan’s grin was just as big as Jenny’s.
Jenny nodded, then shifted to squeeze Evan. “Right. Sorry, honey. I’m just so excited! This is a dream come true for me.” Her eyes glistened and she sniffed, like she was going to start crying. Oh God, please don’t. I hated it when women cried. Kiera patted Jenny’s shoulder, but I knew that wasn’t going to stop the tears. Jenny needed a distraction.
After Evan left her side to set up his drums, I walked over to her. “Hey, Jenny, if you really want to make your dreams come true tonight, we could go to the back room and I could…” Leaning down, I whispered in her ear everything I could do to her. I was very explicit.
She slugged me in the arm. “Griffin! Ewwwwww! No, no, and hell no! Ugh…I need to go rinse my ears out now. Maybe scrub my brain…”
Laughing, I shrugged as I started walking to my guitar. “Your loss.” Mission accomplished. She no longer looked like she was going to start bawling.
Once Matt, Evan, and I were settled behind our instruments, Kellan whistled to get everyone’s attention, and the crowd gathered around us. Jenny narrowed her eyes at me before turning to smile at Kellan. Rachel gave Matt an encouraging grin, since he still looked like he was about to throw up, and Kiera beamed up at Kellan like he was the most amazing male specimen to ever walk across the face of the planet. Whatever. Anna was standing beside Kiera. She gave Kellan a cursory glance, then shifted her eyes to me. Ha! Take that, Dreamy McDreamerson. My girl likes me better.
“Hey, we’re the D-Bags, and we’re all so excited to be here, playing at the grand opening of Jenny’s gallery. She’s worked so hard for this, and we’re all very proud.” Kellan tilted his head as he smiled down at Jenny. Her eyes filled to capacity again and I sighed. Good job, Kellan. I’d cured her, and you just made her cry again. You can proposition her this time.
“This one’s for Jenny, and her baby: Bagettes,” Kellan finished.
Evan began tapping his sticks together in a countdown rhythm that even I understood. I had no idea what song was first in the lineup though. Maybe I should pay more attention in rehearsals. Nah, fuck that. If they were never going to give me a shot, what was the point?
I kept waiting for Matt to propose as we played. After each song, I thought, Okay, now he’s going to do it, but he never did. He looked sicker and sicker as the night wore on, but he never did or said anything to Rachel. It was weird, and kind of a wasted moment. I mean, if he was trying to be all dramatic and shit, how could he top proposing to her during a D-Bags concert? Couldn’t be done. By the end of our set, I was convinced that he had changed his mind about asking her to marry him. Poor Rachel. She’d need to be comforted. I could be her shoulder to lean on, so long as she didn’t cry too much…and she let me cop a feel in the process.
Thinking of Rachel’s breasts naturally made me think of my wife’s. She had an amazing rack, even more so now that she was so close to popping. Her jugs were kegs, and I wanted to tap them. Just the thought was giving me an erection, which felt kind of awesome against the vibrations of the bass. Oh yeah…my wife and I were finding a quiet spot after this. Maybe that gigantic curtain decorating the wall behind the stage. Yeah, that sounded like a great place for a blow job.
I was practically bursting at the seams by the time the damn set was done. Fuck, was it necessary to play five thousand songs at this damn thing? Some of us had shit to do. As soon as Kellan thanked the crowed, I set down my bass and sought my wife. Finally.