I don’t even hear if she answered my question, or not.
I remember that everything was fine, just a normal kind of drunk, until shortly after we started drinking the gin. And then out of nowhere, I couldn’t see anything directly in front of me because it was way too close. I kept focusing my eyes at things farther out, the ocean and the stars and the light from the boats moving across the water in the distance. I remember thinking that a ship was coming toward us and that it was going to crash onto the beach. But I didn’t care. I thought it was… beautiful. It was going to kill us all, but it was beautiful. And I remember hearing Andrew singing this sexy song. I laid my head on his chest and listened to him sing. I wanted to crawl on top of him and get naked, and I would have if I could’ve moved.
And I remember…
Wait.
That blonde bitch. She asked me… wait.
I raise my body from the sand.
“I think you need to lay still for a bit,” Bray says.
My fingertips come up to my forehead.
I remember her sitting next to me and Bray. She was as messed up as the rest of us, but I didn’t feel jealous of her anymore. She talked to us for a while, and I didn’t mind.
As it’s all coming back to me, my body is starting to shake more.
She tried to kiss me. I think I kissed her back…
I think I’m going to be sick again.
I draw my knees up and rest my elbows on top of them, burying my face in my hands. I’m still so dizzy. I still feel like I’m not done puking. I don’t have that great feeling of relief after vomiting. No, the need to be sick just intensified, this time brought on by my nerves.
The rest is coming back to me and even though I want to force it out of my mind, I don’t.
She asked me if she could sleep with me and Andrew. Yeah, I remember now. But… oh God… I thought she really meant to sleep, but I realize now that I was so high I didn’t know she meant it sexually.
I told her I didn’t care.
Then I remember her…
My breath catches. My hand flies to my mouth, my eyes are wide and stinging from the breeze.
I remember her giving Andrew a blow job.
Trying to push myself to my feet, I feel Bray’s hand on my back.
“Girl, come on,” she says, pulling me back down on the sand with her. “Don’t go over there. You’ll just get hurt.”
I jerk my wrist from her hand and try to get up again, but the sudden movements mixed with the frayed nerves just sends me back into a dry-heaving episode.
Then I hear Andrew above me.
“Shit,” he says to Bray. “Will you run to my car and get a bottle of water out of the ice chest in the back?”
Bray takes off to do it.
Andrew rolls me over onto his legs just as I stop dry-heaving. He brushes my hair away from my eyes and my mouth.
“They f**king drugged us, baby,” he says.
My eyes open a crack to see him above me, his palms resting on my cheeks.
“I’m going to kill that bitch. I swear to God, Andrew.”
The look in his eyes is that of a person being stunned. He probably didn’t know that I knew. “She’s still passed out. Baby, I’m…”
The guilt in his face cuts through me. “Andrew, I know what happened,” I say. “I know you thought she was me. I saw what you did.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says, gritting his teeth. Moisture is forming around his eyes. “I should’ve known it wasn’t you. I’m so f**king sorry. I should’ve known.” His hands tighten a little around my face.
I’m about to tell him to stop blaming himself when Elias comes over to us.
“I’m sorry, man, we didn’t know. I swear.”
“I believe you,” Andrew says.
Bray comes back with the water, and I’m already regaining some of my strength. I lift myself up and sit upright, lying against Andrew’s bare chest. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me so hard, like he’s afraid I’m going to get up and run away.
Then he reaches out and takes the bottle from Bray. He twists off the top and pours some in his hand and wipes it across my forehead and mouth. The coolness of it instantly soothes me.
“Look man, I’m sorry,” Tate says, coming up behind us. “We thought you wouldn’t care. We just dropped some in everybody’s drinks. Being generous. We didn’t bring you out here with any f**ked-up intentions.”
Andrew manages to carefully move away from me, though still so fast I barely felt his absence and he punches Tate again. A nauseating crunch echoes through the space around us.
“Please, Andrew!” I shout.
Elias grabs Andrew and Caleb grabs Tate, holding them off of each other.
Andrew lets Elias hold him back, but he shakes him off and turns back to me, helping me up from the ground.
“Let’s go,” he says. He starts to carry me, but I shake my head at him, letting him know that I’m OK to walk on my own.
He grabs his guitar and I grab our blanket, and we head toward the Chevelle.
“Maybe we should give Bray and Elias a ride back,” I say.
Andrew tosses the guitar in the trunk and takes the blanket from me, throwing it back there with it. Then he walks over to his side of the car, lays his arms across the roof and then his head in between them. He takes a deep breath and then slams his fist down on the metal. “God damn it!” he shouts and hits it again.
Instead of trying to talk some sense into him, I decide to let him cool down on his own. I look at him with a kind expression from the other side of the car. And then I get inside and close the door. He stays there for a minute longer until I hear him say, “I’ll give you two a ride back if you want.”