I don’t answer for a long time, thinking about my answer. “Number one, you didn’t take it, I gave it to you. Big difference to me. As for why you? You saw me. I’m not sure how to explain that. It’s like…you seemed to see who I was, who I am, and you treated me like I am worth wanting. You see what I hide. It’s not that anything I’ve experienced is a secret; it’s just that I don’t trust anyone enough to tell them. But you…I just trusted you, like instinctively or something. I still can’t explain why. I mean, I know now that you’re a strong and kind and understanding man and that you’re trustworthy, but I didn’t know that then. I wanted to trust you. And, honestly, that scared the fuck out of me. That was as much the reason I didn’t stick around the next morning as anything else. I couldn’t figure out why I’d trusted you, why I wanted you so badly. Or why you wanted me. None of it made any sense, and that just scared me.” I smooth my palm in idle, lazy circles on his torso. “You pursued me, like you just had to…have me, and that was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.”
“You’re so different from anyone I’m used to,” he says. “You’re honest. Not open necessarily, which I understand. You couldn’t be, not with the life you’ve lived. But you just are who you are. I saw a beautiful woman who knew herself, and was comfortable with herself, but she didn’t entirely comprehend her own beauty. It’s an intoxicating combination.” His fingers dance over my hip, and his eyes burn. “And also, I just plain lusted for you. I wanted you, and I intended to have you. I just didn’t realize—”
“What you were asking for?” I cut in.
“How much more there is to you than I even first imagined,” he answers. “And I mean, I knew from the first conversation we had that there was a lot you kept hidden. There was a lot of complex, beautiful woman to know, hiding somewhere past all those walls.” He pulls me toward his body, and I fall against him, breasts crushed to his side, a leg thrown over his, my eyes fixed on his. “I was determined to get past those walls. I wanted to figure you out. I wanted you to trust me, to tell me all those secrets I saw in your eyes.”
“Well…now I have.”
“Now you have,” he agrees, and his mouth finds mine.
His hands span my waist, lift me astride him, and the kiss breaks. I gaze down at him, into his pale green eyes, and I’m lost. I was lost before, but after revealing the truth and all the things I’d kept hidden, I’m drowning in him. I press a kiss to his chest, and then sigh in pleasure as his big strong hands roam my back and my ass and my thighs, and then up to bury in my hair and bring my face to his for a soul-searing kiss. He’s there, at my entrance, hard and hot, and I scrub my palms over his cheeks and slide my body up his, cling to his neck and sink him deep inside me.
“Oh fuck, Des…god, you feel like heaven…”
“Not heaven,” I gasp, writhing upon his length. “Home. You feel like home.”
“Is there a difference?” he whispers.
I shake my head, lift up so I can see his eyes, my hair falling around our faces. “No, there’s not. Not to me.”
“Me either.” He thrusts up into me, lips touching my cheek, then teeth nipping at my ear. “I love this, Des, feeling you like this. Bare inside you.”
“Me too.”
“You’re not on birth control.”
I shake my head. “No. Never needed to be.”
“Then we should stop for a second. I’ve got to put one on.” He rolls us over, slides out of me, rises to his knees between my thighs. Snagging the packet he’d set aside earlier, he rips it open and sheaths his cock with the condom. “Now. Where were we?”
I just stare up at him, waiting, expectant. “I don’t know. I’ve forgotten. You should show me.”
A smile spreads across my face as he grips his thick cock in one hand and guides himself to my opening, presses the broad head to my clit and rolls it in slow circles. I gasp, and his eyes darken, heat up. He slides into me, pushing all the way in, and then moves his knees closer to me, spreading my thighs farther apart.
So fucking full. He’s in me, his heat diffuses over my skin, his eyes penetrate mine and see my soul and he knows my secrets and he’s looking at me like he can’t get enough. He’s so deeply impaled in me that I can’t take any more of him. But then he lifts me by the hips and drives deeper, and holy fuck it seems I can take more of him, and still I need him harder faster deeper more…
And now he’s pulling back slowly, sliding his length nearly out of me in a teasingly slow glide, and then he pistons all the way in so hard my tits bounce and I shriek involuntarily, gasping, reaching for him, leaning forward and gripping his hips and pulling at him, because Jesus did that feel good.
“Again…” I breathe, “Adam, do that again.”
His grin is pleased and hungry. “You like that, huh?”
“Fuck yes.”
“You like it hard? A little rough?” He pulls out in the same slow withdrawal, tightens his grip on my waist, and then slams in as hard as the last time, and my eyes cross from the spear of superheated ecstasy that explodes through me when he’s deep and hard like that.
“Yes, Adam, yes…god, I do, I like it when you fuck me hard.”
“Then I’ll give it to you hard.” He pushes deep, leans over me and his cock is buried in me, filling me, and his lips find mine, kissing me with a sweet lingering tenderness that has my eyes pricking and my heart swelling in my chest. It’s a kiss that tells me, no matter how hard and rough he may be about to fuck me, he’s doing so with a heart full of—
No.
Nope.
Not letting myself go there. Even now, I can’t let myself believe it’s that, that word. For him, or me. That would be too much like every girl’s fantasy, and too much like everything I’ve ever wanted, and if I let myself want it or feel it with Adam, and it’s taken away, I’ll shatter.
So I accept thoughts like “tenderness” and “sweetness”, and keep that other word at bay, buried deep, deep, deep in the shadowy recesses of my consciousness.
Adam straightens, lifts my legs and places the backs of my thighs against his chest so my feet extend past his head. He scoots closer to me so my ass is flush against him, and I can’t even breathe from how deep he is, can’t see from the dizzy, heady splendor of his cock so big and hard and hot and perfect inside me…