What the fuck?
Then his face fell and his brows narrowed as all the humor washed from his face. “Life, Marcus. Life has gotten into me. Every day is a fuckin’ fight—a fight to get out of bed and stand, a fight to push forward. If it weren’t for my little girl, I wouldn’t give two fucks about any of it. Every night, I fuckin’ pray that I can one day make that promise to Elle—that I’ll live to see her go to her first day of high school, to see her walk down the aisle, and hopefully one fuckin’ day to see her with her own child. I live to protect her from ever falling in love with a man like me, because let’s face it, Marcus, we are not good men. Would you want your child with someone like you? Me? Better yet, would you want Elle with someone like us? That’s my fuckin’ deal.” He turned around and stormed over toward the edge of porch. With his hands shoved into his front pockets, he bowed his head and stood silently.
There was nothing I could say to ease the tension because I knew full well that every word Jimmie had just said was true. In silence, I leaned my elbows into my knees and sat there as Jimmie’s words sank in deeply. He was right and the fucked-up part of it all? There were only two ways out of this life we’d chosen—death or becoming an informant. Neither one of us was an informant, so I knew what he feared. There was no starting over. That wasn’t an option for us.
After fifteen minutes of complete silence, I thought to head back in the house when I heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Jimmie headed toward the edge of the stairway of the porch. The engine shut off and doors slamming shut were heard followed by Elle’s voice. “Daddy.” Soon afterward, she was climbing the stairs with a pout as she stopped in front of Jimmie, waiting for him to accept her. Jimmie ran his hand over her small face, and she burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to kick the boy in the balls. I won’t do it again. I promise. Please don’t be mad at me.” Jimmie chuckled and pulled her in to a tight hug.
“I’m not mad at you, princess.”
She tossed her arms over his shoulders as she shut her eyes tightly. “So I’m not punished anymore?”
“Elle, don’t push it.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Go in and get ready for bed. You have school in the morning. I’ll be up in just a bit.” She nodded, pulled away from him, and slowly walked up the steps. Jimmie stood and walked toward the car to our mom.
I headed toward the door. “Hi, Uncle Marc.” Elle mumbled as she reached the door. I opened it for her.
Slightly bending, I tugged her chin up, “Hey, I don’t get a welcome-home hug?” A soft smile formed along her face.
“Sorry.” She said as she reached her hands and wrapped them around my neck. Pulling her in, I whispered, “Oh, and, Elle?”
“Yeah.”
“Good job on the balls kicking. Next time, for your sake, tell your dad you tried to aim for the knee and just missed.” She giggled with a nod and entered the house.
Jimmie by then ran up the stairs and arched a brow at the grin on my face. “What’s up with the smirk?”
“Nothing, man.”
He reached for the door and patted my shoulder with his free hand. “Mom’s in the car if you want to talk to her.”
“She’s not coming in?” Jimmie shrugged and went in the house.
Glancing over at driveway, I could see my mother in the driver’s seat of her BMW. Her eyes were on me. Although it was darker out, the lights in her vehicle were on. I let out a deep breath and headed towards her. She cut off the ignition and climbed out of the car at that time.
“Hi, baby.” She whispered as she reached out and rubbed her hand along my arm. She leaned up to kiss my cheek.
After I returned the gesture, I shoved my hands into my front pockets and then straightened my shoulders. “Hey, Mom.”
She dangled the car keys in her hand and bowed her head toward the ground, lost in thought. “How was Philly?” She asked in a low tone and then brought her gaze back to me.
“It was good.”
She nodded, pressed her lips together, and then let out a sigh. “Marcus, I really want to talk to you. I know you traveled all day and are probably exhausted, so I won’t bother you tonight, but do you think we could meet up for lunch? Tomorrow perhaps? I’ll stop by the office. We can eat there or out, whichever you’d like.”
“Yeah, sure.” She responded to my short answer with a tight smile. I knew I wasn’t being exactly cooperative, but I wasn’t ready to get into a big emotional scene with her. With just getting back and the whole thing with Jimmie, I just wanted a fucking drama-free night for once.
“Okay, is noon good for you?”
“I have a deposition at ten. Let’s make it one to play it safe.”
“Okay, that sounds good. Thank you.” I nodded in response.
My mother turned on her heels, hopped into her car, and pulled away.
***
When I entered the bedroom, Mia was fast asleep. Not wanting to wake her, I hopped in the shower, dressed, and went back down to my office. I needed to look over the Jefferson file for tomorrow’s deposition. It wasn’t my case, but I was filling in for another attorney and needed to catch up on the file. I also needed to focus on anything else besides my mother and Lou, the club, and what Jimmie had said. I shoved all of those fucking thoughts to the back of my head and focused on work.
Fingers grazed along my jawline, waking me from my sleep. I knew it was her by the scent of her perfume even before my eyes flashed open. I smiled as she climbed on top of my lap in a straddled position. Her hair was untamed from her sleep. I leaned my head back and watched her for a while as she ran her fingers through my hair. I felt at ease.
“When I woke up, you weren’t in bed.” Her concerned eyes scanned my face. “Are you okay, baby?”
I reached up and twirled a lock of her hair around my finger. “I was working on a file and fell asleep.”
Smiling, she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck. “Mmmh, well, come to bed with me. It’s lonely without you.”
With my head tilted aside, I watched as her still sleepy eyes studied me with a slight smile. “Move in with me?”
Puzzled by the random question, her brows pressed together, “Huh?”
“Come on, Mia. It just seems right.” I grazed her cheek with my fingertips. “I just want to hold you close every night and wake up to this beautiful face every morning.”