Home > Conquering King's Heart (Kings of California #4)(36)

Conquering King's Heart (Kings of California #4)(36)
Author: Maureen Child

She looked down at the paper in her hand, then lifted her gaze to his beautiful blue eyes. Shaking her head, she said, “Don’t you get it, Jesse? I don’t want this. I don’t want anything from you.” She threw the deed over his head and watched it flutter in the wind until it landed on her lawn. “Now, please. Just go away.”

She closed the door on him and tried not to remember the stunned surprise flickering in his gaze. Then she leaned back against the door and let the tears fall again. She’d thought she was finished crying, but apparently, there were more tears locked inside.

He didn’t understand. This wasn’t about her shop. Her business. Or King Beach. This was about them. This was about how she loved him and how wrong she’d been.

“Bella,” he said, his voice coming through the door clearly, “don’t do this.”

She held her breath, closed her eyes and waited him out. Finally, she heard his footsteps as he left the porch and took the steps. When she didn’t hear anything else, she slowly sank to the floor, hugged her knees to her chest and sat there silently until she heard him turn and walk away. She’d done the right thing, Bella knew. She had to be strong. She couldn’t let herself be hurt again. She just didn’t think she would survive another broken heart.

Turning him away was the only thing she could do. Right now, he was reacting to having lost her. He’d already told her that Kings didn’t lose, so naturally, he wouldn’t give up easily. But eventually, if she stayed strong enough, he’d give up and go away.

Bright and early the next morning though, he was back, pounding on her front door. “Bella! Bella, open up! Talk to me, dammit.”

She staggered from bed in the semidarkness of the night just as dawn broke. She hadn’t planned to answer the door if he came back. Wouldn’t have actually, if he hadn’t kept shouting her name so loudly. If she didn’t open her door, Mrs. Clayton next door would be calling the police in a few minutes.

Clutching her pale pink robe to her chest, she threw the door open. Cold wind scuttled past her and sent a chill zipping through her body. The sky behind him was a pale violet and studded with dark clouds. The sun hadn’t risen yet, but it was close.

Jesse looked as if he hadn’t slept. His hair was wild, as if he’d been driving his fingers through it all night. His white shirt was wrinkled, there was a day’s growth of whiskers on his jaw and his eyes were shadowed. He held a latte from the diner in each hand. “I brought you coffee.”

She sighed, reached out and took one. Fine. He knew her weakness. But that didn’t mean anything. Nor did the fact that she’d accepted the coffee.

“Jesse, you have to stop.”

“No, I don’t,” he told her, stepping in close. “I won’t stop. Not until you hear me out.”

Bella sighed again, heavier this time. He looked as bad as she felt. Why drag this on for either of them? Wouldn’t it be easier to just let him say what he felt that he had to say? Then maybe he’d go away. “Okay, talk.”

He blinked at her. “Can’t I come in?”

“No.”

He huffed out a breath, muttered something she didn’t quite catch and let his head fall back. “Fine. You don’t want me in your house, I’ll just say it right here.” His gaze met hers. “Bella, I love you.”

Her breath caught. How amazing that pain could just keep growing. “Jesse…don’t…”

“I do.” He reached out and when she would have shut the door, he slapped one hand against it, preventing her from closing herself off from him again. “Look, I know I screwed up. I know you’re hurt. And pissed. And you’ve got every right to be. But dammit, Bella, I’ve never felt this way before. Maybe that’s why I’m messing it up so badly. It’s all new to me. You’re new to me. But that doesn’t make it less true. I love you, Bella. I really do.”

Her throat was closing on her and her vision was blurring. She really didn’t want to cry in front of him, but if she didn’t get the door closed fast that was exactly what was going to happen and her humiliation would be complete.

His words echoed over and over again in her mind and she wanted to hold on to them. But how could she? She would have given anything to believe him. To hear those words and hold them close. Instead, she said, “How can I believe you, Jesse? You lied to me right from the beginning.”

Sorrow glimmered in his eyes and his mouth tightened into a hard, flat line. “I know and I’m sorry. Sorrier than you realize. As I said, I made mistakes. But loving you isn’t one of them, Bella. You have to believe me. You have to know that what I feel is real. I want to marry you.” He laughed shortly. “There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear myself say.”

She shivered and fought to keep her tears from falling. “Stop. Please.”

“No,” he told her sincerely, his blue eyes fixed on hers, “I’ll never stop. You’re the soul of me, Bella. You’re the piece of me that was always missing. Hell, I didn’t even know I was incomplete until I found you.” He slid his hand over the door to rest atop hers. “And I can’t lose you now. I won’t go back to being alone.”

Just that one touch of his skin against hers sent heat she hadn’t known in days skimming through her system. Still, Bella couldn’t believe. Couldn’t risk it.

“You were my mystery woman, Bella,” he said. “But I see now the only mystery is how I ever managed to live without you in my life. Give me a chance to make it all up to you, Bella. Give us that chance.”

She stared into his eyes, longing to believe, but just too shattered to try. “I really wish I could believe you, Jesse. But I just can’t.”

Then she closed the door and let the tears fall.

Late that night, Jesse muttered a curse as the heavens opened up on him. He’d never had to work so hard for anything in his life. Always, things had come easily to him. Always, he’d walked through life, taking what he wanted, leaving the rest behind. Until now.

Now, everything rested on his being able to convince one woman—the woman—that she was the most important thing in his world. That she was his world.

And he wasn’t going to lose.

She was stubborn?

He was more stubborn.

If she thought he was going to give up and go away, then she had a big surprise in store for her. He stepped out of his car and was instantly drenched.

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