Had he changed his mind about taking her to the races, introducing her to his social circle? Was he about to excuse himself—impulse shouldn’t be carried too far? Maybe he felt guilty about her spending money on dressing up for him and was about to stop it before she was out of pocket. It was okay for him to be needlessly extravagant on a whim but letting her invest in a relationship that was going nowhere…
His silence fed the churning in her mind. When he finally spoke, Erin was gearing herself up to accept the end with as much grace as she could muster.
“About last night…” He darted a sharp look of concern at her.”I don’t usually forget about protection…” Protection!
Not rejection.
Relief Bill owed over her inner turmoil. She didn’t want it to end here. She really didn’t.
“It’s okay,” she swiftly assured him.”You won’t get trapped into unplanned fatherhood with me, Peter. I’m on the pill.” Had been since she was sixteen. Her early teens had been plagued by irregular and very severe periods and she had no wish to suffer them again. The pill provided a regular monthly cycle, giving her peace of mind from being caught out in a desperately embarrassing flooding situation, not to mention the onset of almost intolerable pain.
A horrid thought occurred to her.”That’s not to say I’m madly promiscuous. In case you’re wondering, you don’t have to worry about health issues, either.” She took a deep breath and darted a sharp look of concern at him.”I hope you’re not going to confess…”
“No.” He flashed a reassuring smile.”I promise you I’m clean.”
“Good!”
It certainly was good to have that settled. She frowned over her reckless behaviour.”I should have thought of it last night.”
“No harm done,” he tossed at her, the smile still lingering even after he’d returned his attention to the traffic ahead.
Erin sighed away the load of tension he’d just lightened. Of course, he’d want such a serious issue raised and disposed of. They’d played a dangerous game last night. Luckily they hadn’t been punished for it.
“Do you want to be a mother sometime in the future?” he asked in a tone of casual interest.
Erin took heart from the question. It didn’t sound as though he was working up to bidding her goodbye just yet.”I would love to have children but I don’t really see it happening,” she said wryly.
“Why not?”
“Well, as I said last night, I think a solid marriage is the best environment for bringing up children and I’m not sure I’m cut out to be good wife material.”
He shot her a quizzical look.”Define that for me.”
“Oh, you know.” She couldn’t stop herself from mocking his need for an explanation.”Being subordinate to a husband. Having to give up part of me to get along with him. Seems to me it’s never the other way around.” He frowned.”Sounds like you’ve had some disappointing personal experiences.
How old are you, Erin ?”
“I passed the big three zero almost a year ago,” she answered flippantly, refusing to let that bother her. Life was to be lived, no matter what.
“So the biological clock is ticking,” he muttered.
“Can’t stop that,” she agreed. No one had control over time.”How old are you, Peter?”
“Thirty-five.”
“Then you must have had quite a few disappointing personal experiences, too.”
“Click!” he said, throwing a wide dazzling grin at her.
Erin’s heartbeat did its own clickety-click. Peter Ramsey was an absolutely gorgeous man. She was loving this experience with him. No doubt disappointment would come sooner or later, but until it did…
“To me the ideal marriage is a true partnership,” he said.”Two people complementing each other, not competing for top billing.”
“Ever seen that ideal in practice?” she challenged.
He nodded.”My parents. My sister and her husband. Though there are different aspects to their marriages. My mother might appear subordinate to my father, but she is very serious, very caring about her charity work and Dad respects and supports her desire to help, to make a difference. He doesn’t demand that she always be at his side, looking after his needs. On the other hand, Charlotte and Damien are two like minds, sharing everything. Both have very solid marriages.”
He spoke with such warmth about his family, Erin couldn’t help feeling a stab of envy.”That’s nice. You’re very lucky, Peter.”
“No.” He shook his head.”They are. They found the right partners.”
She looked at him curiously.”So which kind of marriage would you envisage for yourself, the first or the second?” It could be possible for her to fit into the first mould, she was thinking. No way the second.
“I think if you find the person you want to spend your life with, you work it out from there.”
“Hmm…that’s an interesting theory, Peter.” She smiled at him.”Meanwhile you’re hanging loose.” He laughed and a hot blast of sexy blue twinkles zipped from his eyes and tingled all over her.”Not so loose at the moment,” he drawled, leaving Erin in a ridiculously blissful state of exhilaration.
The parting of the ways was not going to happen today.
Peter Ramsey still wanted her.
Her prince…
She didn’t care how different their worlds were. In fact, it would be fascinating to have a little taste of his today, so it was worth making the effort to fit in as well as she could, not create any awkward waves. Just being with him was making her feel anything was possible between them.
He drove around the northern end of Hyde Park and pulled up behind the taxi rank in Elizabeth Street. Ill egal to park, so with engine idling, he reached across to squeeze one of her hands, his bright blue gaze seriously commanding.
“Don’t blow your budget on this, Erin. It really doesn’t matter. Okay?”
“Okay.” She smiled at his caring.”I’ll just satisfy my female pride.”
He smiled at her levity, pleased that she wasn’t too concerned about the people she’d meet with him at Randwick.”Go to it. I’ll be back here at eleven-thirty.”
“I won’t keep you waiting,” she promised, and quickly alighted from the car.
Having waved him off, Erin hurried down to the pedestrian crossing which would take her directly to David Jones. Her dress from last night drew a few looks.