‘What alternative do you have in mind?’ he shot at her, his face hardening. ‘Running away?’
‘Yes…no…I mean…just choosing how I’d like our wedding to be, Nick,’ she pleaded, still grasping at the chance that what he promised would work out. ‘I was thinking very private…’
‘You can’t keep our marriage a permanent secret any more than you could have kept our son a secret, and putting off facing people with the truth only makes it harder,’ he argued in harsh warning, then tempered his tone to a gentler note as he added, ‘There’s no shame in our situation, Tess. I’ll be right at your side, protecting you from…’
‘No!’ She pushed up from her chair in agitation at feeling pressured to perform in the public eye. ‘Whose voice are you listening to, Nick?’ she flared at him in fiery challenge. ‘What focus do you have on our wedding day?’
‘My focus is on being completely upfront, not hiding anything about us, Tess,’ he drilled back at her.
Heat burned her cheeks at the implied criticism of her less open stance. ‘Oh? Funny how I thought this marriage was only about you and me and Zack!’ she countered. ‘When did it start developing other more public agendas?’
She flung the question at him as she rounded the desk and moved away, turning her back on his focus. It wasn’t that she couldn’t brave other people’s opinions and attitudes. It wasn’t that she couldn’t defy them. She could and would face them when she had to…but not before her wedding to Nick Ramirez and not at it!
The surface stuff would count for too much.
The dream would be tarnished by it.
If they were married privately just before Christmas and completely missed the social festive season in Sydney, spending that time away on their honeymoon, maybe they could start off well, celebrating Zack’s first Christmas together, feeling like a family.
She desperately wanted to hold onto her dream, believe in it…if only for a little while.
Nick did not move. His mind was locked in battle with his natural instincts. Yes, this marriage was about Tess and Zack but he wasn’t into sneaking off to do anything. It went totally against his grain. To his mind, a man wasn’t a man if he didn’t stand up to be counted.
It was bad enough that Tess had hidden the fact of giving birth to his son, denying him the chance to stand by her. He wanted to ensure that everyone who had any contact with their lives was left in no doubt that he was proud to have Tess as his wife and the mother of his child.
A wedding was a public statement.
That was what it should be.
Yet Tess was acting so skittishly about it, Nick was forced to do a swift reappraisal of his priorities. She’d whirled herself over to the set of French doors which opened onto the side verandah, and she stood there looking out, her arms tightly folded, her back turned to him…clearly a stance of brick-wall revulsion to participating in what she foresaw as a three-ring circus.
In his mind’s eye, he could see Tess as such a spectacular, incandescent bride, she would absolutely obliterate the stardom of their prima donna mothers. There would be no competition at all. From anyone. Nevertheless, argument on that point looked highly futile at the moment and getting married was the whole object of this exercise.
In fact, given this current display of fraught nerves, best he waste no time at all in getting Zack and Tess legally tied to him. ‘We could get on a plane, fly to Las Vegas, come home married—fait accompli—if that’s how you want it,’ he put forward, testing her attitude.
Her head jerked in negation. ‘Las Vegas is tacky. Besides…’ Her shoulder blades sharpened, signalling a strong wave of inner tension. ‘…I think it best we wait the month required by Australian law. It is some safeguard against marrying in haste and repenting at leisure.’
Was she having second thoughts or thinking he might have them? ‘I won’t change my mind, Tess,’ he asserted.
She threw him a hard, measuring glance over her shoulder. ‘You’ve hardly been tested by baby demands yet. How do I know you won’t run from them, Nick? How do I know you won’t leave the major parenting to me once you find out it’s not all fun and games?’
‘You want the month to see how I stand up to it?’
‘One night does not a father make,’ she tossed at him.
‘I am very personally aware of that,’ he shot back. ‘If I have one prime aim in life, it’s to give my son everything I wanted from the father who wasn’t there for me.’
‘Good intentions don’t always stick.’
‘They’re not intentions. They’re vows I’ll live by.’
Her eyes mocked his claim. ‘My life has been littered with broken promises.’
‘Is that why you want a private wedding, Tess? Easier to call it off? No loss of face if no one knows about it?’
‘That works both ways. You might get bored with both of us.’
‘No chance.’
He shifted off the desk and moved up behind her, hating the power she still had to limit his connection to her life and Zack’s. He had to erase her doubts about his commitment, melt the staunchly held independence he sensed was gaining ground again, build up a need for him, stoke the desire that could override every other consideration.
He slid his arms around her waist and drew her back against him. She wore figure-hugging, sexy blue jeans and as he fitted her lushly curved bottom to his groin, her rigidity broke under a wave of little tremors. Even so, her arms remained defensively folded across the white singlet top, denying him easy access to her sensational breasts. He bent his head to nudge aside the rioting mass of red ringlets so he could play erotic games with the delicate shell of her ear, wanting to win back the soft, pliant, sensual woman who’d shared her bed with him last night.
‘A month of nights won’t even begin to satisfy all you stir in me, Tess,’ he murmured, blowing softly into her ear.
Her whole body shuddered with pleasure, whipping him into instant arousal. Her arms loosened, dropping to her sides and moving backwards to claw her hands up and down his thighs, inciting an even more urgent desire, matching his erotic move with her own. Compelled to challenge her for dominant sexual power, Nick thrust his hands up beneath her singlet and took possession of her breasts, his own fingers seductively kneading, not clawing.
‘We should save something special for our wedding night,’ she said, lifting her shoulders back to raise her breasts in proud defiance of his ownership, though the husky edge of her voice betrayed her excitement in it.