Trying to imagine her future with children seemed so foreign.
Would she even be good at being a mom?
The thought was overwhelming. But deep down, a spark of interest lit a candle of hope. A faint light of possibility in the darkness of doubt.
*
Rain hadn’t been in the weather forecast.
Trey paused to stare up at the gray clouds through the hole in his roof, while droplets splashed his face. The moisture mingled with the sweat, trickling down his forehead, stinging his eyes.
After leaving work yesterday, he’d dropped by John Paxton’s construction site and made two requests: a sledge hammer and commercial-grade work gloves. In exchange for those, he’d told John that the crew could knock a week off the timeline for his renovation. Because he planned to complete the demolition himself.
Since then, he’d attacked drywall with a vengeance, tearing into the ugly wallpaper until every scrap lay on the orange carpet. During his one-man mission of destruction, he’d accidentally blown out a load-bearing wall, and part of house started to cave, creating the hole in his roof. He didn’t care. This entire half of his house was going anyway, to make room for his two-story, six-bedroom addition.
Six bedrooms. For what? he thought sarcastically. The only family who’d reside there might be his brother and cousins and the occasional guest. Not that he wanted the guys to move in with him, but after a drunken binge they’d each have their own room to crash in. Fucking fantastic.
Even though he’d been going at this for fourteen hours working through the night, and his muscles screamed for a break, fresh frustration refueled him with a burst of energy. Good thing he lived on several acres, miles from the nearest neighbor. Considering all the noise he’d made, he probably would have been cited for a nuisance violation. Didn’t matter. He would’ve paid the damn fine, told his neighbors to go to hell, and continued.
The only way he knew how to deal with the emotional wreckage inside him was to slaughter bad decorating and leave drywall carnage in his wake.
As the rain turned from a few drops to a steady mist, he heard car tires squeal on the road and then gravel crunched in his driveway. Not in the mood for visitors, he scowled.
The car’s finely tuned engine revved, whirred then fell silent. A door slammed. He glanced out his kitchen window and saw Cade’s silver Porsche. Hell.
Dropping the sledge hammer, he peeled off his gloves. He flexed his aching fingers, ignoring the sting of torn flesh on his palms where calluses had ripped open.
His front door opened with a bang, and Cade raced into the foyer, a look of horror on his face. “What the hell? Trey!”
“Yeah, over here.”
Cade trampled over layers of dusty broken drywall to enter the living room. “What happened?”
“Devon,” he replied. No explanation seemed necessary.
The expression on Cade’s features shifted from concern to distress. “Did you guys split?”
Trey’s lip curled. “She’s splitting. Leaving the state for a new job.”
Stunned at first, Cade’s eyes gradually softened with sorrow. “When did you find out?”
“Saturday.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Trey scoffed. “What was I going to say? ‘Hey, the love of my life told me she can’t have kids, but she thinks I should go have a family without her, so she dumped me for a job.’”
“Aww, man.” The bleeding-heart compassion pouring from his brother made him grit his teeth. He didn’t want Cade’s sympathy. He wanted Devon in his life. “That’s rough. You okay?”
Trey spread his arms to encompass the demolition surrounding him. “Great. Couldn’t be better. Can’t you tell?”
With a heavy sigh, Cade waded through the destruction. He approached and gripped Trey’s shoulder, then dragged him into a bear hug.
The gesture of reassurance and commiseration dislodged the lump in Trey’s throat, and he choked on a surge of emotion. Then he shoved his brother away. “Quit that.” He blinked hard to contain the moisture in his eyes. “I’m not going to fall apart.”
“I can see that,” Cade said with a touch of irony as he glanced around and took in the extent of the damage. “We were worried. It’s not like you to skip meetings and not show up at work.”
“The office is the last place I want to be,” he muttered.
“Now it makes sense, but you had me and the boys concerned.”
“I’m still alive and kicking. Satisfied?”
Cade shook his head. “Not really. You have half a house and hole in your roof. I’m going to call the guys.”
“Why, so my cousins can see me scraping the bottom, messed up over a girl?”
“I know how much she meant to you.” Cade’s piercing blue eyes sliced through him. His brother understood him better than anyone and recognized that losing Devon had blown a giant hole through his future and his heart. “They’ll bring beer—and a tarp to keep out the rain.”
Trey weighed his options. “Better tell them to pick up a keg.”
Cade grinned. “You got it.”
*
Tuesday evening, dusk and rainclouds turned the sky a deep purple as Devon pulled up to the location of her interview. She parallel parked on the street in front of the building, an old warehouse that had been converted to office spaces and loft apartments. Yellow light from streetlamps glistened on the wet pavement.
A stab of remorse pricked her when she stared up at four floors of shadowy windows, questioning whether she should’ve come. Cancelling the interview had crossed her mind dozens of times over the past twenty four hours. She’d fought with herself, paced the floors of her house, battled confusion and frustration, and finally realized she needed to make a compromise.
Her fierce independent streak had softened around the edges since Trey had kissed her for the first time and she’d accidentally fallen for him. But was it an accident? Could fate have brought her the one man who could tear down her walls and give her a glimpse of a beautiful, passionate future she’d never considered until him?
After Dan left her at the altar, she’d pictured herself alone yet completely satisfied with her life choices. There was so much freedom to enjoy without a husband or family. She came and went as she pleased, took lovers as it suited her, and answered to no one. She could stow Peanut at a kennel and take off for a tropical island in a heartbeat. No one cared if she stayed up all night gaming online or slept until noon on the weekends.