I don’t move. I am frozen at my desk. Hot chick. He called me a hot chick. He called me a babe. There is hope for me after all. I write back: A few emails, Chris? More like 300! I should take you out to lunch to say thanks.
I hit send as the nerves of asking a guy out swoop down on me. It’s just a business-y lunch, I tell myself. I totally didn’t just ask him out on a date. I merely proposed a thank you meal with a fellow video fiend. He may not even write back today.
But Chris does not make a woman wait. Thirty seconds later a reply arrives.
I never turn down a free meal. Want to have lunch at Fritz’ Gourmet Fries tomorrow?
More than anything in the world right now.
Chapter Eight
Hayden adjusts her glasses, a sign she’s about to go into lawyer mode. “Now, bear in mind that my area of specialty is in patent law, not pet custody.”
“First the disclaimer,” I say. I’m hanging out at her house that night, stretched out on her couch with my laptop, her doing the same. Greg’s at a business dinner, and Lena just went to bed.
“But I looked into Todd’s claim, and even though it’s ridiculous you can’t just ignore it. If you do, that’s when problems start to occur.”
“Are you saying he can just come and take the dog?”
“No. I’m not saying that. And to be honest, possession is nine-tenths of the law, so you have that in your favor. But what you need to remember is San Francisco is a city that enacted an ordinance elevating pets above property in family law matters. Pet owners are now legally considered guardians rather than pet owners, so you have to take this seriously.”
I roll my eyes. “Seriously?”
“It is a left-wing paradise, isn’t it? So you need to start rounding up documents. To show you take care of the dog. Vet bills, Vet records.”
“What about her health insurance? I pay for that too.”
“I still can’t believe you have pet insurance. But yes, gather all those documents. Along with pet food receipts, receipts for toys you bought for her.”
Something about her list energizes me. It’s fuel for my never-let-Todd-win mission. “I brush her teeth every day. I buy the dog toothpaste online, so I have all the records of the times I buy her toothpaste.”
Hayden snaps her fingers and points at me. “I like. Yes. That. Do that. Anything. Amass it all. Because if it gets to a court, or a judge, or even a pet mediator, you want to show that you are this dog’s sole owner.”
I tilt my head and give her a chiding look. “Hayden. You mean guardian, don’t you?”
She smiles. “Yes, counselor. I mean guardian.”
“They really have pet mediators?”
“This is San Francisco. How many domestic partnerships and common law marriages do you think involve pets?”
“A lot.”
“And this reminds me. When you do snag yourself that Trophy Husband, let’s make sure the dog’s guardianship is established from the get-go.”
“Speaking of, I need to do some whittling.”
“Want me to help you?”
“You would?”
“I told you I’m here for you. So if you’re doing this, you better make room for me,” she says, and scoots closer to check out the pictures together as I return to my inbox, which is bursting with more than five hundred potentials thanks to the power of Chris’ show.
“How about this guy?”
“Ooh, I like that one,” Hayden says, pointing to a dark-haired hottie with a seductive smile.
“Let’s move him to the potential keeper folder,” I say and slide his email over with a flourish. I wonder briefly if I should tell her about my kinda-sorta-maybe date with Chris tomorrow. I don’t even know if he’s twenty-three, though I doubt it. But as Hayden’s eyes widen and she points merrily to a cute blonde guy, then vehemently nixes a so-so redhead, I decide I’m better off keeping Chris to myself for now. If my one reluctant friend is now fully backing the quest, I need to stick with the plan and adhere to the oath I took at her house a few weeks ago.
Besides, it’s just lunch.
Lena pads down the hall, wearing her black and orange San Francisco Giants pajamas, and holding Green Eggs and Ham, still her favorite book. “Mom, I can’t fall asleep. Can you read one more book to me?”
“I’ll read to you,” I offer. “These emails are making my eyes glaze over.”
“Can I see?” Lena leans over the couch to see the pile of emails stacked up, virtually, in my inbox. “What are all those emails, McKenna?”
“She’s just trying to sort through some boys for potential dates,” her mom says, since Hayden tends to be pretty open with her kid. Ergo, so am I with Lena.
“Yeah, cause the Fedex guy was a dud,” Lena says, repeating back what I told her a week ago when she asked.
“Total dud.”
“So do you like any of these boys?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll find a nice boy. I want you to be happy. My mom wants you to be happy. We both want you to find your sailboat in the moonlight.”
I tear up again. My friend and her kid know my favorite songs. They know what my heart wants, even though my brain rarely listens to my heart.
* * *
“You can never go wrong with fries.”
“Or with forty-seven varieties of dipping sauces for fries,” I add as I survey the list of ketchup substitutes that Fritz’s offers. Fritz Gourmet Fries is on one of my favorite streets in the city. Union Street happens to boast some of the best shopping in the city, with arty boutiques and funky little shops where I often find purchases to show my viewers. But honestly, the only reason I am thinking of my second favorite pasttime – shopping – is that if I don’t I might be eaten alive by the butterflies in my belly.
Chris is so cute. So handsome. So delectable. And I am sure I am going to do something to mess up this sorta date because I haven’t a clue how to date. I’ve been with one guy since I was twenty-one, and I don’t even know if this is a date with Chris, but I want it to be one. Because he thinks I’m a hot chick, and I think he’s a total babe, and I’ve already imagined the passion with which he kisses and the sparks his fingers send through me…
I focus on the menu because if I don’t I will surely do something incredibly inept.
I scan the list of forty-seven dipping sauces – pesto mayo, spicy yogurt peanut, creamy wasabi tapenade, spicy lime, roasted red pepper. They all sound delicious.