“Tell me what?”
“Anything interesting?”
I shifted so I could look at him. “Maybe you should tell me something interesting.”
He swallowed, and the soft sleepiness of the crazy day disappeared. He was Bryan again. Strong and in control. There was no hemming and hawing. No lengthy preamble. He was direct and clear, as he looked me in the eyes. “I’m totally in love with you, Kat.”
I was speechless for a moment. Overcome. This was the movie-like moment I’d wanted my whole life. Only it was real. It was happening. And I was no longer sitting in the theater in the dark, watching. I was the girl in the scene who was crazy for the boy.
And the boy loved me too.
I was a flood of colors. I was the center of a sunburst, as my heart beat faster, and happiness rushed all throughout the freeways of the intersecting veins inside my body, filling me with everything good in the world.
“I’m so in love with you, Bryan.”
He kissed me again. This kiss was deeper, closer. I was careful with him, sensitive to his damaged hand, and the tender spot on his ribs where Wilco had slammed a fist. But the painkillers must have muted all that, because Bryan seemed only to be enjoying every touch, every movement between us. My arms wrapped around his neck, while my hands worked their way up into his soft hair. His good hand pressed firmly onto my back, while his bandaged one rested by his side. I felt hungrier than I had that afternoon many weeks ago at the factory, but maybe that’s just because I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner. Then there were Bryan’s lips on mine, sweeter than the ice cream that would surely turn to a puddle if we kept going like this.
But we couldn’t keep going like this. We had to stop. We had to put the whole thing on ice for real this time. No kissing. No bathroom trysts. No phone calls.
I pulled back. “We need to talk.”
He tensed, but then shifted to a sitting position and to his standard business voice. “Okay.”
I was reminded how quickly he could segue from one mode to another. I wasn’t sure if this was an admirable trait or not.
“Nicole told me the advice she gave you. That we could pursue a relationship or whatever.” I found myself blushing and looking away when I said those words.
He smirked, then flashed that lopsided grin. “A relationship or whatever? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Relationships or whatever?”
I pretended to punch his arm.
“Hey. I’m damaged goods now. Be careful.”
“Anyway. So yeah. Relationship or whatever.”
“Do we call it boyfriend-girlfriend these days? Or is that too high school? Lovers just seems so weird. Especially, since, you know, I haven’t seen you fully naked yet.”
“Okay. I thought we were being serious,” I said, but it occurred to me that maybe he was avoiding the serious conversation.
“Fine. I’m serious.”
“But we can’t right now. You have to tell her that even if we’re —” I stopped talking. I couldn’t bring myself to say in love out loud. I was too afraid the words were a fragile bubble that might burst.
“In love,” he said, completing the phrase.
“Yes. That we can’t be involved until I graduate. Professor Oliver won’t stand for hanky panky or else an F, as you know. And I have to get my degree. Not just to get the investment, but because I want to. So we have to really, truly, for real this time put everything on hold. Yes, we could sneak around. Yes, we could try not to be caught. And maybe we’d be successful, but I just don’t want to take the risk, especially with all that happened with Wilco. I feel like we only narrowly escaped. I want to do things the right way. I want to start over with you in the open, not in hiding.”
I’d always swayed with him, bent to my own wishes to be with Bryan no matter the cost. But there was more at stake now than us. “So I guess what I’m saying is you kind of have to be my mentor. You can’t recuse yourself or I might not be able to finish school.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh, so you’re kind of giving me an order.”
“Kind of. Or more like a request. Can you please let Nicole know you have to stay as my mentor for the next several weeks, and that we’re going to be good boys and girls, and then when I graduate, we can…”
“Be together?”
“Yes. But we really have to cool it til then. No taking chances. No calls. No nothing.”
“I think I could be amenable to waiting for you under one condition.”
“What’s that?”
He put his good hand on my waist and gently pulled my chest to his. Then he whispered in my ear, his voice low and smoky. “Let me touch you tonight.”
“Bryan! That’s not fair.”
“Fair to who?”
“You’re all hopped up on pain meds. I’m not going to take advantage of you.”
He scoffed. “First off, you could never take advantage of me. I will always want you.”
“But we’re supposed to be behaving! Didn’t we just agree to that?”
“Yeah. But think of me like a wounded soldier. You wouldn’t leave me without giving me a little something to keep me going for the next several weeks.”
“You’re terrible. We might as well just have sex then.”
“What a brilliant idea.”
I wagged a finger at him as if he were a very naughty boy. “The answer is no, no, no.”
He pressed his palms together – a sight that looked as amusing as it was sympathetic given his gauze-wrapped hand – and batted his eyelids. I pretended to swat him, and he deftly reached for me with his left hand, shifting my body alongside his and spooning me on the couch. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, his right hand resting carefully on the couch. He layered kisses on the back of my neck that turned me inside out. He pushed my hair out of the way and traced his tongue lazily across my skin, over my earlobe, and down to my shoulder blade. He moved his hand to my waist, slipping his fingers underneath my sweater. I gave in to the feeling of his fingers dancing on the waistband of my jeans. His hand was warm, his skin was soft, he felt amazing. I closed my eyes.
“Good thing I’m left-handed,” he said.
Even though I could feel the soft little hairs on my arms standing on end, I moved his hand off my belly. “Yes. That means you can use your left hand to work the TV remote.”
He heaved a long, laborious sigh of playful resignation.
“You have a will of steel, and it only makes me want to get you naked even more. But for now, I surrender. Want to watch a movie?”