“There was nothing she could have done, Kyla. The law is the law,” Tanner said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“I know, Tanner, but I just feel so bad for the little boy.” Her own tears were finally starting to fall despite all her efforts to hold them back.
“Let’s go back home, Kyla. We can’t do anything for anyone here.” He rose to his feet and helped her up from where she’d been kneeling on the floor in front of little Billy.
Kyla didn’t have the energy to speak anymore, so she just followed the man out of the room. This night had drained her, and all she wanted to do was lie down and have a good cry. But as she clung to Tanner, she realized she didn’t want to do that alone.
Chapter Eighteen
Sadness weighed heavily on Tanner’s shoulders, but as he walked into the apartment complex with Kyla at his side, he tried to shake it off. The boy had nothing to do with him and shouldn’t influence his moods, but twice now he had seen fear and pain in Billy’s eyes and he didn’t think it would be all that easy to forget about this kid.
“Can I come to your apartment? I don’t want to be alone.”
Kyla had whispered those words from her beautiful lips, but they came across so loud and clear that she might as well have shouted them. And they stopped Tanner in his tracks. As her hand clung to his arm, and her body leaned into his, he knew what she was saying, what she was offering.
He also knew it would be wrong for him to take advantage of this situation. She was afraid of the dark, for goodness sake, and even worse, her emotions were frayed because of poor little Billy. He would be the lowest of low if he took her to his bed tonight.
But the thought of doing just that had him instantly forgetting his worries about the building, about the child, about everything bad in his life. Two soft sentences from Kyla and it was taking all his restraint to keep from picking her up in his arms and leading her straight to her bed.
“Why don’t we go to your place, Kyla, and I can stay with you until you fall asleep?” He really wanted to punch himself in the mouth for even offering such a thing, but what else could he say if he hoped to be able to live with himself after he left this building for good.
“I don’t want to be in my place. I don’t want you to leave me alone,” she told him, her body trembling against his.
He sent up a silent prayer for strength.
“I won’t leave you, then.” The words had barely made it past his teeth and he was close to shaking himself.
“I just need to grab a few things, Tanner, and then we can go to your place.” She didn’t release his arm.
“You really don’t want to stay in your apartment tonight, do you?” What were her motives? If he was there with her, she wouldn’t be alone. “Anyway, I wouldn’t leave you.”
“Oh, I think you’ll leave. But that’s not the point right now.”
Well, that was honest enough. And she was probably right. He was a man, and he had only so much willpower. He was glad he hadn’t said that out loud. He sounded like a creep even in his own head.
But what could he do? He followed her silently into her apartment. She pulled him to her room and grabbed a few items from her dresser, and then moved back toward her front door.
Tanner was so nervous now that he fumbled with his keys, but he somehow managed to get his apartment door open, and when he headed in, Kyla was still locked against him, so they had to turn sideways to get through.
“I’m not going to leave you — I promise,” he said when she still didn’t release him.
She let out a nervous chuckle, and she finally loosened her tight grip on him and then dropped her hand. “I’m sorry, Tanner. It’s just been a really bad night.”
He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hug. “Don’t ever apologize for needing someone,” he said as he held her close for several moments.
After leading her to the couch, he left her with a flashlight while he dug for candles, thankful his assistant thought of everything. Yep, Randy was definitely getting that raise now.
The emergency candles cast a strong enough light in the room that Tanner was able to turn off his flashlight without making Kyla more nervous than she already was.
“I put a candle in the bathroom and one in the bedroom so you can move around the apartment without freaking out,” he said as he joined her on the couch.
“I know that to be afraid of the dark at my age is ridiculous, but my fear is what it is,” she told him, and she snuggled against him.
“I think you’re charming, Kyla. You know that no one is perfect, right? No one. Promise not to tell anyone, but even I’m not perfect,” he said with a chuckle.
She relaxed into his side, and Tanner felt his body instantly harden. No! He tried to control himself, tried telling himself that just because she needed him to comfort her did not give him the right to take unfair advantage.
But here was the thing. Tanner was feeling just as raw as Kyla was and he would love to sink deep inside her heat, love to lose himself inside her for a few sweet hours. He would love to think of nothing beyond the needs of his body and hers, and he’d love to not be reminded how dark the world could actually be.
How was he able to keep from sliding his hands around her and cupping her br**sts? Damned if he knew. He simply held her and didn’t even think about the time he was wasting doing absolutely nothing.
“Tanner?”
He tensed at the breathless quality of her voice. Everything about this woman screamed “Take me.” and he wanted to take her.
“Yes?”
“I’m really tired now.”
His heart thudded in his chest. She hadn’t asked him to make love to her. She’d simply said she was tired. She’d also said she didn’t want to be alone. Just because she didn’t want to sleep alone didn’t guarantee he was going to get sex. It most likely meant that she was going to sleep and he was going to hold her. And he’d be throbbing the whole time.
“Do you want to go to bed?” He barely recognized his own voice.
She was silent for a few heart-stopping moments. “Yes.” Her voice was almost inaudible, but not to him. “I need to use your bathroom first. I feel filthy.”
“There’s no hot water,” he reminded her.
“I know. But if you have a washcloth…”
“I can get that for you.”
Tanner untangled himself from her arms and then moved to the bathroom, where he laid out a towel and washcloth and picked up the dirty underwear he’d flung in the corner earlier in the day. In his defense, he told himself, he hadn’t been expecting a guest.