“You need mental help, Rafe,” she said as she blew out her breath in irritation.
“I only need you, Ari.”
“I’m going to the bathroom.”
She got up and practically ran to the back of the jet, where she locked herself inside the large bathroom, splashing cold water on her face. She couldn’t go out there again. She couldn’t face him.
Being with Rafe was like living in a tornado. Her world was flying out of control all around her, and she didn’t know when she was going to land on solid ground again.
He was so sure of their future together — so confident. Could she be wrong? What if she caved in to him, and then things went back to the way they had been?
She wasn’t normally this confused. She was strong and smart and could conquer the world. She needed to remember that or this flight was going to test her very sanity.
Finally walking back out to join Rafe, she looked in his eyes, and her heart fluttered and lurched. Oh, yes, this fight was going to be long.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rafe
Rafe granted the poor woman a brief reprieve. Just as Ari returned to the cabin, dinner was being served, and his flight attendant acted as a temporary chaperone.
If Ari hadn’t looked as if she were ready to fall over, he would have sent his employee away and resumed their discussion. But it was more than obvious that Ari needed food, and it wasn’t fair of him to continue without giving her sustenance. It tore at him how tired she seemed — emotionally and physically.
He waited patiently while their table was set and hot food placed atop it.
“After you,” he said as he stood and placed his hand on Ari’s back.
She tensed, but allowed him to lead her to the table.
Pouring them each a glass of wine, he lifted his glass. “To the prompt rescue of Shane and Lia.”
Ari hesitated only briefly before lifting her own glass and clinking it against his. Then she placed it to her lips and took a large swallow. “That is something I am more than happy to toast to,” she told him with a slight smile.
She was quiet as she picked up her fork and began picking at her food. Anything she ate was better than nothing, he reasoned as he began working on his own meal. It wasn’t the best he’d eaten, but it was something. Normally, he planned ahead and chose his menus. This had been an emergency, and he had to take what they kept at the ready.
Once the last of the food had been placed on the table, he dismissed his flight attendant, telling her to leave them for the rest of the flight. He wanted no more interruptions. The mess could be cleaned up later.
“I was at your graduation.”
Ari looked up in surprise.
“My graduate ceremony?”
“Yes. You were glowing as you stood on that stage. I was very impressed, Ari. I knew you would do it, but it was still a thrill to see you standing there with such a smile of accomplishment on your face.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t approach me.”
The look in her eyes suggested that she wouldn’t have hated the idea. He had debated doing just that, but he had managed to stay back, just barely. He’d come because he’d had to be a part of her pomp and circumstance.
“I didn’t want to ruin your special day. Your mother was there with her arm locked permanently around you, and I wanted you to bask in that. I thought my presence would take away some of your joy. Besides, I think my parents and sisters were on watch duty. They kept looking out at the audience. If I had tried to approach, they might have tackled me.”
“They’re your family, Rafe. Of course they wouldn’t have,” she said with a smile. It was such a relief for him to see it.
“You must not know them that well. My mother and sisters both lectured me endlessly about my losing you. They told me I was a fool.”
“They are wise women.” She smirked, but her cheeks were tinged with red.
“I told them I intend to have you back.”
“That isn’t your decision to make,” she said, looking him deep in the eyes.
Her strength was an aphrodisiac. He could take her right there, and then do it again and again. Rafe knew he would never grow bored with Ari, never look at another woman after having her in his life. She was all he needed, plus some.
“You want me, Ari. It’s in your eyes, in the way your body tenses when we are in the same room together. You want this just as badly as I do. I understand why you are suspicious of me, but don’t let the past ruin our future. Yes, I made mistakes, and it’s not easy for me to admit that, but I wasn’t such a monster that I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Isn’t it clear that I’ve repented?”
He was laying his heart out there for her to do with what she wanted.
Ari looked at him for a long moment, as if trying to gauge whether he was speaking the truth or not. He had never been so honest, so open with anyone, and he hoped that she could see that.
“I think you mean what you say, Rafe. I believe you do care about me, but I don’t believe you are able to change enough that we can make this work. You have chosen a lifestyle that is at odds with what I want. You choose to act in ways that aren’t acceptable to me. Too much has happened that can’t be fixed or forgotten. We can’t make this work. We’d get back together, have some steaming sex, and then end up where we left off two years ago. My heart would be broken, and you’d be restless.”
“Obviously, I haven’t allowed you to know me well enough, Ari. I’ve told you before that once I make my mind up about something, though, I am sure in my decision. I’ve made my mind up that I can’t live without you. I have tried force, and I have tried seduction. It seems neither is working. I will just have to find a better way.”
To judge by the intake of her breath, he was getting through to her. Rafe leaned back but refused to release her gaze. She was his — she just didn’t realize it yet.
* * * * *
Ari wanted to accept what Rafe was offering. Offering? Ha! Rafe didn’t really offer anything. He demanded, he forced, he even cajoled on occasion. He didn’t offer and he didn’t ask.
Yes, he’d been better since coming back into her life, but he was still Rafe, still the domineering businessman with a kinky side that made her heart thunder beneath her br**sts. The problem was that she did want him.
She’d been able to think of nothing else since he’d taken her in that dark library. Never again would she be able to study in any library without her heart racing and heat flooding her. One thing that Rafe would never be short on was charisma. He made her burn long after the passion had abated, long after she’d found exquisite release.