This time, he didn’t show any expression as he allowed her to take a couple of retreating steps.
He wasn’t letting her get too far, however.
“Please, Rachel…” He broke off, at a loss for words because of her instant change in mood.
“I will get back to my room alone. I can take care of myself. Just leave me be,” she snapped, putting a further divide between them.
She knew she was making the situation worse, but if he’d just allow her to go, she told herself, she would stop saying hurtful things — and start worrying about what she was going to say to him next.
Would he even want her love, this gift she was willing to give him for no more than the small price of him allowing her access to his heart?
“If it weren’t for the fact that I’m carrying your twins, you never would have called me again, would you?” she asked, needing to hear him say it.
He hesitated as if he knew this was a trap, but his honest nature wouldn’t allow him to lie.
“We won’t ever know that, Rachel. The fact is, you are carrying my babies and you are here with me now. Why don’t we just focus on that?”
“I can’t, Adriane. I can’t…” she said, almost on a sob. “I need to go,” she said again, this time moving up the beach, bending down to grab her shoes and then making her way to the path that led to his palace.
This wasn’t her home.
It could be if she accepted his proposal, but though she’d be his lawfully wedded wife, wasn’t that all she’d be? They’d have great sex and she’d give birth to his babies, and then what? Without love, he’d lose interest and she’d become bitterly alone.
“Rachel, we need to talk more,” he said, quickly catching up to her as they entered the palace.
“Can you ever love me, Adriane?” she asked, stopping him cold as she faced him in the cool, dark hallway.
He weighed his answer before opening his mouth. “Love doesn’t matter, Rachel. Why do you keep bringing it up? Haven’t these past nights been good for you? We can have that every night.”
“Yes, Adriane, love does matter. Since I do keep bringing it up, don’t you think that it’s important?” she argued, angry and hurt-filled tears blurring her vision.
He didn’t say anything to that, which Rachel felt was an incredibly painful slap in the face.
She walked away from him again, and this time he let her go. When she reached her room, she knelt beside her bed, and said a fervent prayer.
“Please help me to make the right decision, no matter what that decision may be. And please help me not to be such a fool as not to listen when I am given the answers.”
Her prayer finished, Rachel stood up and crawled into bed.
Adriane had to think she was crazy now. One minute she was holding him as if she would never let him go and the next minute ranting at him to leave her alone. Had she not had that revelation while with his mother, her day would have gone a lot more smoothly.
She’d most likely be lying in his arms right this very minute.
Damn her stubbornness, and damn her inability to decide what she should do next.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
THEY WERE BACK to the real world, and Ari was scared.
Disaster had to await them, didn’t it?
After all, their honeymoon had been perfect, everything she’d ever imagined and then some, thanks to all of Rafe’s romantic surprises. They’d played on the beach, watched as whales and dolphins danced in the waters, lain in the sun for hours, and made love more times than should be physically possible.
But their jet had landed, and they were already back home. Would everything change now that the honeymoon was technically over? Would the honeymoon truly be over as they resumed their normal lives? Whatever the reason, Ari’s nerves were gnawing away at her.
As Mario drove them toward Rafe’s house, she felt a little sick.
This was his home, the home he’d had before she was a part of his life, the home he’d built for himself. The home he’d broken her heart in. She knew she shouldn’t be upset, but they were starting a new life together and she wondered whether she’d always feel that this was his place, never feel that it was equally hers. Never get over the night she’d bared her soul to him and had been so completely crushed.
She would never say anything to him of the sort. It was petty of her even to think of asking him to move, but although it was a fine home, it wasn’t a place she would choose for herself.
She wanted something with a large yard, a place where she felt comfortable getting to know her neighbors. She knew Rafe needed a large home, since he entertained clients in it, and he worked from his home office at times, but this setting, his bachelor mansion, was just not what she envisioned spending the rest of her life in.
Maybe at some point she would feel safe in bringing up the subject.
Not today, though. Today was their homecoming day. Today was their first day back in the real world — as man and wife.
They pulled up to the house with all the lights burning bright, a welcoming gesture from Rafe’s efficient staff. As she emerged from the car, Ari looked at the imposing front door and hoped to feel a modicum of pride — a feeling that this was her home now, too.
Nothing.
“Welcome home, Mrs. Palazzo,” Rafe said before scooping Ari up into his arms and carrying her across the threshold. At least he didn’t stumble, but she didn’t expect him to.
Her worries temporarily forgotten, Ari laughed with delight as he nuzzled her neck and made his way to the kitchen. Then she melted a little when she saw the gigantic bouquet of stargazer lilies waiting for her on the table.
“My favorite flowers,” she sighed.
“I could never forget. I will have a bouquet for you every week for the rest of your life,” he said before kissing her breathless while letting her body slide down his as he set her on her feet.
“Did you order them yourself, or have Mario do it?” It shouldn’t matter, but it did. If they were from him, the gesture meant so much more.
“I ordered them,” he said, and kissed her again.
“I love them, then,” she said before kissing his neck, tasting his skin as she reached toward one of his buttons.
“I’m starving, woman, so quit distracting me,” he said with a grin as he pulled back after leaning in for one more lingering kiss.
“Mmm, I’m not the one who started this,” she reminded him while looping her arms around his neck and nibbling on his lips.