She shook her head before he could think of how to remind her. “I know it’s only been a couple of days and she could well have family out there who wants her. Or her mother might change her mind. I just hate the limbo.”
He swept her hair from her face and kissed her, hard. “You won’t be in limbo for long, I can promise you that.” Guilt pinched over how he’d brought her into this, all but forced her to stay with him. “My friends and I won’t rest until we find the truth about Issa’s past. That’s a good thing, you know.”
“Of course I do. Let’s change the subject.” She pulled a wobbly smile. “I think it’s amazing the way your friends all came to help you at the drop of a hat.”
“It’s what we do for each other.” Just as he’d done his best to help his buddy Conrad reconcile with his wife earlier this year. He owed Conrad for helping him start the clinic, but he would have helped regardless.
“In spite of your rocky teenage years, you and your friends have all turned into incredible success stories. I may not always agree with some of your projects, but your philanthropic work is undeniable. It’s no secret that your other friend, the casino owner—Conrad Hughes—has poured a lot of money into your clinic, as well.”
He tensed at her mention of one of his Alpha Brotherhood buddies, wishing he could share more about the other side of his life. Needing to warn her, to ensure she didn’t get too close. There weren’t many women who could live with the double life he and his friends led with their Interpol work. Mari had enough complicating her life with her heritage. Better to keep the conversation on well-known facts and off anything that could lead to speculation.
“Conrad invested the start-up cash for my clinic. He deserves the credit. My financial good fortune came later.”
“No need to be so modest. Even before your invention of the diagnostics program, you could have had a lucrative practice anywhere and you chose to be here in Africa, earning a fraction of the salary.”
He grunted, tunneling his hand under the sheet to cup her butt and hopefully distract her. “I got by then and I get by even better now.”
She smiled against his chest. “Right, the billions you made off that diagnostics program we keep arguing about. I could help you make it better.”
He smacked her bottom lightly. “Is that really what you want to talk about and risk a heated debate?”
“Why are you so quick to deflect accolades? The press is totally in love with you. You could really spin that, if you wanted.”
He grimaced. “No, thanks.”
She elbowed up on his chest. “I do understand your reticence. But think about it. You could inspire other kids. Sure you went to a military reform school, but you studied your butt off for scholarships to become a doctor, made a fortune and seem to be doing your level best to give it all away.”
“I’m not giving it all away,” he said gruffly, a sick feeling churning in his gut at the detour this conversation was taking. He avoided that damn press corps for just this reason. He didn’t want anyone digging too deeply and he sure as hell didn’t want credit for some noble character he didn’t possess. “If I donate everything, I’ll be broke and no good to anyone. I’m investing wisely.”
“While donating heavily of your money and time.”
Throwing all his resources into the black hole of guilt that he’d never fill. Ever. He took a deep breath to keep that dark cavern at bay.
“Stop, okay?” He kissed her to halt her words. “I do what I do because it’s the right thing. I have to give back, to make up for my mistakes.”
Her forehead furrowed. “For your drunk-driving accident in high school? I would say you’ve more than made restitution. You could hire other doctors to help you carry the load.”
“How can a person ever make restitution for lives lost?” he barked out, more sharply than he’d intended. But now that he’d started, there was no going back. “Do you know why I was sentenced to the military reform school for my last two years of high school?”
“Because you got in a drunk-driving accident and a woman was injured. You made a horrible, horrible mistake, Rowan. No one’s denying that. But it’s clear to anyone looking that you’ve turned your life around.”
“You’ve done your homework where my diagnostics model is concerned, but you’ve obviously never researched the man behind the medicine.” He eased Mari off him and sat up, his elbows on his knees as he hung his head, the weight of the memories too damn much. “The woman driving the other car was pregnant. She lost the baby.”
“Oh, no, Rowan how tragic for her.” Mari’s voice filled with sadness and a hint of horror, but her hand fluttered to rest on his back. “And what a heavy burden for you to carry as the driver of the car.”
She didn’t know the half of it. No one did. To let the full extent of his guilt out would stain his brother’s memory. Yet, for some reason he couldn’t pinpoint, he found himself confessing all for the first time. To Mari. “But I wasn’t driving.”
Her hand slid up to rub the back of his neck and she sat up beside him, sheet clasped to her chest. “The news reports all say you were.”
“That’s what we told the police.” He glanced over at her. “My brother and I both filled out formal statements saying I was the driver.”
She stared back at him for two crashes of the waves before her eyes went wide with realization. “Your brother was actually the one behind the wheel that night? And he was drunk?”
Rowan nodded tightly. “We were both injured in the car accident, knocked out and rushed to the nearest hospital. When I woke up from surgery for a punctured lung, my mother was with me. My dad was with my brother, who’d broken his nose and fractured his jaw. They wanted us to get our stories straight before we talked to the police.”
That night came roaring back to him, the confusion, the pain. The guilt that never went away no matter how many lives he saved at the clinic.
“Did your parents actually tell you to lie for your brother?” Her eyes went wider with horror. Clearly her parents would have never considered such a thing.
Most never would. He understood that, not that it made him feel one bit better about his own role in what had happened. She needed to understand the position they’d all been in, how he’d tried to salvage his brother’s life only to make an even bigger mistake. One that cost him…too much.