“Careful,” he said as I wriggled around to put my panties back on.
My jaw dropped in mock disgust. “You’re telling me to be careful? Me? Um, excuse me. You’re the one out here in the middle of a lake, drilling me like you’re a greedy mining corporation and I’m a mountain full of diamonds.”
“Yes, but I was moving front to back. You can rock a canoe safely from stern to, um, the other part.”
“You mean starboard?”
“No, this is starboard.” He jerked his body to rock the canoe to one side. The midnight blue water around us splashed a warning.
I raised a finger. “Don’t.”
He rocked the boat again. “Starboard.”
This time, the canoe rocked far enough to the side that a wave of lake water splashed over the edge to pool at our feet.
I gasped and lifted my feet.
CHAPTER 29
I’ll never know why I was so concerned about getting my blue sneakers wet. They weren’t suede, after all.
Something about water splashing into the vessel—the vessel that was supposed to keep the water on the outside—made me freak out.
I lifted my feet and leaned back, forgetting that I wasn’t sitting on a chair, but on a bench, with no back. Once I’d tipped the point of no return, I was going down. I landed on my back in the hull of the boat.
I wasn’t hurt so much as I was shocked, and the wind knocked out of me. Wheezing, I struggled to get over the shock and catch my breath.
Dalton chose this moment to be heroic, which, in this instance, involved standing up. He was, unfortunately, well to the starboard side of the boat, and I think you can figure out the rest.
Everything flipped, and keeping my blue sneakers dry was no longer a concern.
Into the cold water we plunged.
I surfaced in the dark, gasping for air and flailing around for something to hold me up. The bright yellow life jacket bobbed up right beside me. I grabbed the jacket and clutched it tightly to my chest as I got my bearings.
“Dalton?”
Only frogs answered.
I told myself not to panic, but you can imagine how well that worked.
“Dalton!” I yelled.
From the darkness came his reply. “On a scale of one to ten, how upset are you?”
“I don’t know.” I kicked my feet and twirled myself around in the water until I spotted him, treading water with one hand on the overturned canoe. “This water is warmer than I expected.”
“It’s a nice night for a swim.”
“Dalton… I don’t mean to alarm you, but where the FUCK IS THE DOCK?!”
“Right behind you,” he said calmly.
“Oh.” I looked, and saw lights on by the dock.
He explained, “I turned the lights on at the shed, remember. I’ve had my eye on it the whole time. You don’t think I’d take you out on a lake at sunset with no exit strategy, do you?”
I splashed a wave of water his way. “You’re a disaster.”
Even in the dark, I could tell he was smirking as he replied, “No, you’re the disaster. My life wasn’t like this before I met you, Peaches Monroe.”
Grumbling a few choice words, I joined him at the canoe and helped him right the thing.
If you’ve been on a canoe a time or two, you’ll know that getting back in after you’ve been capsized is not the easiest operation. In fact, if it ever happens to you, I recommend getting in a time machine, going back in time, and warning yourself against renting a canoe.
After no small amount of humiliation getting my body back into the canoe, Dalton shot himself in like a trained dolphin at Sea World, and we were paddling back to shore.
We got the canoe and everything put away, then walked back up the hill, which was much steeper and longer than when we walked down or came up in the golf cart.
Back at the resort, Dalton stopped by the front desk and notified the woman working there that we’d accidentally broken the canoe’s padlock, but to charge the repair to his room.
The woman looked at me, sopping wet and doing the Dripping Walk of Shame, then over at Dalton, equally waterlogged. Without a doubt, she knew exactly what had happened, more or less.
“The hot tub is open until midnight,” she said cheerily. “Please note that there is no lifeguard on duty.”
He gave her a wink, then strode over to me and wrapped his soggy arm across my soggy shoulders.
“What do you say, dear? A little hot tub party?”
“Sure! But if you don’t mind, I’ll just pop by the room to get my swimsuit this time.”
We proceeded to our room, my wet shoes making those squippy-squippy noises that only wet shoes can.
~
Lucky for us, we’d left our phones and wallets back in the hotel room, so nothing was drenched in the lake except my pride and last shreds of dignity.
I checked my messages while I got into my bathing suit and a robe. I had the usual assortment of messages from Shayla, not about anything in particular, plus one from Mitchell. He was pretending to be just saying hi, but betraying his excitement about his upcoming visit to Washington State.
Mitchell: What’s up, Peach-a-bootylicious? We have to hang out soon! I should plan a road trip.
Me: Dalton told me about the surprise! I know you’re coming up to help with the wedding!
Mitchell: What wedding?
Me: Don’t make me beg!
Mitchell: The secret’s out? What do you know?
Me: That you’re coming up!
Mitchell: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I’m so excited! Can you tell?
Me: Dalton is trying to get my phone from me. We went for a canoe paddle and he tipped me over. He’s a disaster!
Mitchell: You love him!
Me: Maybe.
Mitchell: I’m going to cry like a hooker at your wedding.
Me: Like a hooker?
Mitchell: Like a hooker in church on Christmas morning.
Me:…
I couldn’t respond, because Dalton tried again to take my phone from me again.
“Who the hell is making you giggle like that?” he demanded.
“Calm down, it’s just Mitchell. Jealous much?”
His chest puffed up. “I don’t get jealous.”
Right, I thought. So, I just imagined all those times he got jealous about me being with other guys.
I opened my mouth to respond, but then decided I would let him believe what he wanted to believe. He’d had a rough day, but we were enjoying a romantic evening. I don’t allow other people to shush me, but, from time to time, I’m capable of shushing myself.
We grabbed some towels from the bathroom to take to the steam room and hot tub, and ventured out of our room for more excitement.