And she didn’t know what to do to stop it. So leaving tonight? Bad idea.
But if she cancelled on Jericho, he’d think she was choosing her ex over him.
And she really, really didn’t want him to think that.
So she stewed and watched people hide cameras behind their backs when she walked into the room, and eventually retreated to her kitchen to bake until eight that night.
She baked oatmeal raisin cookies. She did not bake éclairs.
When the motorcycle roared outside, she was just pulling the last pan of baked goods out of the oven. She set it on a cooling rack, grabbed the bag of cookies she’d made for Jericho, and tore her apron off, heading for the front door.
Braden was there as she left. “Hey, Em, can we talk?”
Of all the timing… “Does it have to be right now?”
He stared down at the bag of cookies in her hand. “Is that for your ‘friend’?”
“If it is, I don’t see what business it is of yours.” But she felt guilty all the same.
“Em, please.” He moved forward, touched her arm, and then both of his hands were on her, the look on his face woebegone. “You know that guy’s all wrong for you. I’m the one that’s right for you.”
“But you abandoned me,” she said, heart hurting. Why was he making this so difficult?
“I just want a second chance. And you’re not taken, so don’t I deserve that second chance?”
She said nothing. After all, she wasn’t taken, was she? The motorcycle’s purr got louder, impatient. “I have to go,” she told him. “I’ll be home later.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
She would have loved to hear that two years ago, when she’d been an afterthought to him. Now? It just annoyed her. Forcing a smile to her face, Emily headed out the door and toward the motorcycle waiting on her lawn.
“You okay?” Jericho asked, handing her his spare helmet.
“I’m not sure.”
She put the bag of cookies in the seat compartment, then sat down and wrapped her arms around his chest, resting her cheek against his back.
“Don’t you want to ask where we’re going?” He sounded amused.
“Not really,” Emily said. “Away from here works for me.”
“Got it,” he said, and pulled away.
They rode down the highway for a time, trees whizzing past. The night was full of stars and headlights, and Emily sank against Jericho’s back and just relaxed, letting the night atmosphere take her away.
Maybe she wouldn’t be so rattled by Braden’s reappearance if she knew what was going on between her and Jericho.
She didn’t realize she wanted more until Braden had asked her just what ‘they’ were. She’d almost said he was her boyfriend…and then stopped. Because he hadn’t been interested in a relationship, had he? He’d made that clear the first time they’d slept together, and so she’d rattled on and on about how she wasn’t really looking for a husband. At the time, she supposed she wasn’t. Heck, she still wasn’t.
After spending weeks with Jericho, she knew she didn’t really want anyone else but him. But if things weren’t going anywhere…maybe she should try again with Braden, her eyes open to his flaws.
She just didn’t know. Why couldn’t life be simple? Why couldn’t the right guy want her for more than just great sex?
Eventually he pulled off the road at the lake, and parked next to a jeep. She raised her head and looked around, surprised. “Where are we going?”
“To the docks,” he said, pulling off his helmet. “I thought it’d be a good place to sit and talk. That ok with you?”
She nodded and pulled off her own helmet, then grabbed the cookies.
To her surprise, he offered her his hand and she took it, letting him lead her out.
They walked down to the marina, and Emily’s ears were filled with the night sounds of locusts and the lapping of water against the sides of the boats. Jericho led her down the creaky wooden dock until they got to the end of the fishing pier, and he gestured for her to sit down.
She did, dangling her legs over the side and watching her white sneakers move back and forth as she swung her feet.
There was a long, tense pause between them. Then, she spoke. “Why are we here?” Emily asked, curious. “I mean, the marina is nice and all but I didn’t peg you for a nighttime fisherman.”
“I’m not. I told you that I’m crashing with a few friends, right?”
She nodded.
“It started out as temporary but I’m coming on to six months now. I started paying them rent, which is kind of a joke considering all I do is show up and sleep on the couch.” He laughed, but it was too dark to see if his smile was genuine. “I was saving up to figure out what I wanted to do, you know? Seemed silly to rent an apartment if I wasn’t sure that the area could support a handyman-slash-plumber or if I’d have to pull up stakes. But I keep finding reasons to stay.” He paused for a long moment, and then continued. “Anyhow, when I need to get away and think, I come here.”
“Makes sense.”
“And I kinda thought we’d come here because it seemed like you needed to get away. Unless I read things wrong.” His hand was flat on the dock between them and she couldn’t stop looking at it.
“Get away?” She echoed. “From the house?” She wished he’d hold her hand again.
“Yeah. With the ex and all. I guess I’m asking if you’re ok. And if you are ok, did you want me to buzz off?”
Was she okay with things? Not really.
Did she want him to buzz off? Not at all.
And it was so unlike someone to notice how Emily was doing – Emily, who always tried to make everyone comfortable and well fed and kept a stiff upper lip no matter what – that she trembled. It wasn’t that she was cold; it was like her body couldn’t handle all the conflicting emotions inside it. She didn’t know what to do, what to think – so she shook like a frightened puppy. Kind of sad, really.
“Here,” Jericho said, and he shrugged off his leather jacket and then draped it around her shoulders, mistaking her shiver.
She wanted to correct him, but the jacket was warm and heavy and smelled like Jericho. So she burrowed deeper into it and gave a small sigh. “I should be able to handle all of this, shouldn’t I?”
“I think it’s natural to get emotional when you’re around your ex.” After a moment, he added, “It sounds like he misses you.”