“That’s a nice thing to say, though I don’t know that I love who I’ve become.”
“Maybe you’re not done yet.”
I didn’t respond to that.
“April, I’ve never stopped being obsessed with . . .” And then she paused.
I waited patiently, silently for her to finish that sentence.
But then I couldn’t because I had solved the 767 Sequence.
“Obsessed with me!” I said.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, I thought I could detach from this whole weirdness, but after you left, I just threw myself in. I lied when I said I just liked the Dream. I needed to keep being a part of it. I thought I was better than you, but I was exactly as obsessed, just in a different way.”
I let her finish because it was important, but it was also agonizing.
“OK, but that is also not what I meant. I meant the Defenders are obsessed with me. They have a thousand conspiracy theories, Maya. They know everything about me. Every move I’ve ever made, every poster in the background of every video. Everything public I’ve ever done in my life!”
“And?”
“Row six,” I said. “I sat in it that first week when I was flying out to meet Jennifer Putnam and do that late-night show. I got upgraded because someone was in the seat I’d been assigned, but they’d been assigned it too. It was my first time in business class. It was a 767. It was row six.”
“Six like the Mayan number on the tail of the 767?”
“Yeah, and my little TV was broken. Or, I thought it was broken. It had a bunch of weird code on it!”
“Weird code like . . . ?”
“Weird like hex code.”
“But how would the Defenders get their hands on that? How would we?”
“BECAUSE I FUCKING TWEETED IT, MAYA! GODDAMN IT!”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
There were people looking at me, which wasn’t great because I was pretty recognizable. I moved as fast as I could, with my back and shoulder still stiff and twinging, back toward Andy’s place but then, instead, popped into a coffee shop on 12th. It was a cute place with a couple of bars and a few two-tops. About a half dozen student-looking people were drinking their lattes in front of their laptops.
“HELLO! My Name Is April May and I Need A Laptop Computer Right Now,” I said.
I had bet correctly, and there was indeed one person, a guy in his late teens or early twenties, who was not just willing but honored to give me his computer.
In a moment I had my tweet up:
@AprilMaybeNot: On my way to LA and got bumped to business class. My little plane TV is broken though, so I want the money I didn’t spend back!
That was a simpler time.
The little plane TV indeed showed code that I now instantly recognized as hexadecimal. Was that the passkey? It was a lot of characters. So I popped it into its own window and started typing it out. As soon as I was done, about five minutes later, I emailed it to Miranda and Maya, which hopefully wasn’t going to cause any drama.
The Key?
I think this is the key, though I don’t know what it is or what to do with it.
Then I texted them both separately, Check your email. Maya wrote back first, It’s hex, I’ve converted it, would you like to guess what it is?
Me: The lyrics to a song?
Maya: Last night they loved you, opening doors and pulling some strings, angel.
Me: Of course it’s Bowie
Maya: Hell Yes
Miranda replied back with the same information, except to say that she had also inputted it into the latest version of the full code compiled on the Som. I’m sending you the result right now. It is not complicated, but April, let’s talk about this.
It wasn’t complicated; it was an address in New Jersey and five words, “Only April. No One Else.”
Until that moment, I had fully made up my mind to call the president as soon as we were sure we’d cracked it. It wasn’t even a question in my mind, we had the procedure down and I was going to do what I’d been told. I was tired of making big decisions and I was especially tired of screwing everything up when I made them.
But now I was being told to do something else, and while I’d made up my mind what to do, it hadn’t stopped me from fantasizing about what might be waiting for me at the end of this road. My secret heart said that it was a face-to-face meeting with the intelligence behind the Carls—rather, the entity that I had come to think of as Carl in my head. The thought of that meeting happening between Carl and Peter Petrawicki made me want to vom. That’s not actually accurate: It made me angrier than any other thought I had ever had.
I was being asked to do one thing by the president, who had been honest with me, who had trusted me, who was the absolute personification of authority. And then there was Carl. Carl who changed my life, who saved my life, who let everyone die except me. Carl the mystery. My mystery . . . my identity.
I logged out of all my accounts and thanked the guy for his computer. He wanted a photo, we took one, I told everyone else who had gathered to watch that I was in a bit of a rush but thanks for watching my videos! Less than half an hour had elapsed.
Miranda wrote again, Are you going? If you’re going, just let us know.
But I didn’t think I’d been given a choice, or maybe I didn’t want to think I’d been given a choice. I finally felt fully comfortable with what I’d become. Did I know the Carls were good? No. I thought they were, I hoped they were, I felt they were. But I didn’t know. What I did know is that I’d chosen my side, and my side had chosen me.
My phone rang—it was Maya. I didn’t pick up.
Then it buzzed with a text: I plugged in the key, I saw what it said. You can’t go on your own.
I didn’t respond, but she didn’t stop.
April, maybe you can go on your own, but don’t do it right now. Let’s take some time.
But the Defenders were already on their way, who knows what mess they would cause. She didn’t give up: APRIL JUST CALL ME, TALK TO ME.
The phone rang again, I put it on mute. I was doing the thing I had to do, there wasn’t any point, but I did keep my eye on the three little dots that told me Maya was writing something to me. It finally came through as a wall of text.
You’re so caught up in this, you have no idea. To Miranda and Robin, you’re so much more than a person. They’ve never known an April May that wasn’t famous. Have either of them ever said no to anything you’ve ever told them to do? Listen to me, April. In those relationships, you have all the power. Too much power. I’ve watched you with them, they idolize you. That’s how fame works. It sucks. No one you meet from now on is ever again going to feel normal around you. Both of them feel like it’s a privilege just to be near you.
This is just something that happens, not something you did on purpose. But when they let you do these . . . frankly dangerous things, that doesn’t mean that they’re agreeing it’s a good idea. They just can’t say no to you. April, I hear you. But please trust me. Do not do this. I am telling you not to do this because I love you.
I read the whole thing through four or five times. Maya had never said “I love you” to me, she knew it would scare me off. Not responding felt like it would be one of the greatest betrayals I could commit. I didn’t respond.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Are you sure this is it?” the driver asked. I didn’t need to check my phone because I’d been studying this very spot on Google Street View on and off for the last thirty minutes. I’d even found a real estate listing. It’s a warehouse. It’s not currently occupied. It’s for lease. If you would like to lease it, that would run you around $15,000 per month. It was, it turned out, a pretty big warehouse.
“Yep! Thank you!”
I didn’t know whether to be relieved or worried that there was no sign of Peter Petrawicki and whatever camera crew would be following him around. Speaking of cameras, I didn’t have one. What I did have was two phones and my ever-present “just in case” external battery.
I thought for a long time about what Carl wanted. The message said “Only April,” but that seemed clearly about people’s physical presence. Carl usually seemed to want me to bring an audience with me wherever I went. And feeling certain that whatever was about to happen would be historic, I made a call that was both deeply foolish and genius.
I went full livestream.
Facebook’s system had gotten so good that it could handle pretty much infinite viewership these days. Worst-case scenario, I figured, I would crash it. Best-case scenario, I’d beat the record for the most-viewed stream of all time and share one of humanity’s greatest moments with the largest live audience in history.
“This is April May, and I am pleased to announce that I have solved the 767 Sequence. For those of you who haven’t been following, for a while now we’ve known that all of the Dream Sequences have been solved and that the world is awaiting the solution of one final sequence that only appeared in one dream.”
While saying all that, I walked from the curb up to a chained fence gate.
“I don’t know why I was the only one who had this dream, just as I don’t know why New York Carl saved me from Martin Bellacourt on July 13.”
I carefully kept the camera pointed at myself to minimize the clues of my location. The warehouse was big, three stories, made of wood, with large, mostly boarded-over windows and a few huge loading-bay doors. Wood lay strewn around the base of one of the walls. In between me and the door were both the fence and a parking lot that was being reclaimed by persistent little grasses.