When his schoolmates began dating and finding girlfriends, he was only interested in what would result in an orgasm, neither the foreplay nor the cuddling afterwards. Love seemed like a waste of time and energy, for minimal reward.
It was only when Christopher reached his early twenties that he examined in detail what the word psychopath meant. There were others out there like him, which meant that Christopher was normal, just a different type of normal. And the words that’d been chucked at him like stones over the years like ‘callous’ and ‘cold-hearted bastard’ finally made sense.
He completed Robert Hare’s 1996 Psychopathic Personality Inventory, and of the twenty questions asked to determine psychopathic behaviour, his point tally totalled thirty-two, well above the average.
Christopher learned that some scientists believed a psychopath’s brain wasn’t wired properly; that they possessed weak connections among the components that made up their emotional system, and those disconnects were responsible for Christopher being unable to feel emotions deeply.
That satisfied him. He liked that he was not to blame for his lack of impulse control and, if he were ever caught for his crimes, then that would be his excuse. He’d gain entry to a high-security mental hospital with attention lavished on him by those who wanted to study and learn more about him. There were worse ways to live out your life than being in demand, he thought.
He cut across Hyde Park and, after a while, left the grass and trees behind for the streets and large Victorian townhouses of Ladbroke Grove. He stopped to purchase an energy drink from a street vendor and smiled knowingly at a gay couple fixated by the movement in his shorts.
Minutes later, he paused outside a health food store on Portobello Road and looked up at the first-floor flat above it. He double checked the app on his smart phone to make sure the tenant, Number Eleven, was still at work, then used his picks to unlock her front door and familiarise himself with the layout of her home. Little had changed since the pictures had been posted on Rightmove and he surmised that his next killing should be quite straightforward.
As he poked around and worked out his kill position, he furrowed his brow. Something wasn’t right. Usually, from the moment he entered the premises of a name on his list, he’d feel a flicker of excitement, a moment of anticipation of the kill to come. But today he lacked his usual enthusiasm.
Instead, he thought about how time consuming this project was becoming, time that could be spent elsewhere, like in the company of Amy, for example. An unfortunate by-product of meeting her was that she had stimulated him in ways no other women had – neither those he’d dated, nor those he’d killed.
But none of his research told him why.
Chapter 33
JADE
In stark contrast to his brother Mark’s reaction, the rest of Kevin’s family couldn’t have been more welcoming to their surprise visitor from the other side of the world.
When Kevin’s parents Dan and Susan returned from a trip to town to buy supplies, neither could contain their joy at finding the pale, British girl with the fiery red hair and feisty personality they’d heard so much about sitting in their lounge. Instantly they recognised her from the photographs Kevin had shown them, and once they’d gotten over the initial surprise, they bombarded her with questions about herself and insisted that she stay the night at least.
‘How long are you in Australia for, love?’ Dan asked. They had just sat down to supper in the dining room.
‘We have a guest house out back with an en suite, so you won’t have to share with these filthy buggers,’ joked Susan, glancing at her sons. While she spoke to and about them in the same manner as she had probably always done, Jade sensed that beyond her jovial facade lay a deep sadness.
‘Thank you. I’m not sure how long I’m staying,’ Jade replied, and she genuinely wasn’t. The fairy-tale romance between her and Kevin wasn’t playing out how she’d imagined, and the easiest thing to do would be to beat a hasty retreat at the first opportunity. But each time she looked at Kevin, the besotted expression on his face said what his words had not. He desperately wanted her to stay. ‘A week or so probably, if that’s OK?’
Dan served up plates full of cold meats, potatoes and salad, while Mark helped to bring the dishes to the dining table. Kevin was the only member of the family who didn’t tuck in. Instead, he picked at a small portion on his plate. ‘I struggle to keep my food down,’ he told her later. ‘The cancer’s in my digestive system so food doesn’t sit properly.’
Jade had yet to come to terms with hearing the C-word and struggled to associate it with Kevin. She had to stop herself from recoiling when it was mentioned, even though the rest of the family didn’t bat an eyelid and continued as normal. She understood they’d had a much longer adjustment period to come to terms with it than she had.
‘It’s because of you that we’ve had him for longer than the doctors first thought,’ Susan told Jade as they were drying the dishes.
‘How so?’
‘After we were told it was … terminal, he did like many people do and sank into a depression. Well, who can blame him?’
‘I’d be as angry as hell.’
‘He was at first, too. He thought he had his whole life ahead of him only to be told it’s not going to last as long as he’d assumed …’ She paused and turned her head away from Jade, as if she had suddenly just relived the moment the awful news had been delivered all over again. She cleared her throat and continued.
‘It was pretty bad, Jade. None of us knew how to react or how to help him. Then, at the darkest time of his life, he discovered he had a DNA Match, and it didn’t matter that she lived in a different country or that he’d probably never meet her face to face. Just knowing you were out there and being in communication with one another was a reason for him to continue.’
‘I had no idea about any of this—’
‘And he should have told you. I told him you deserved to know, but he didn’t know how to bring it up. For him, you were a welcome distraction from it. When you and he were texting or talking, he’d forget about what was happening to his body. He became a different person … He was my little boy again.’ Susan clasped Jade’s hand firmly. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered. ‘Thank you for being my boy’s friend and thank you for coming to see him.’
‘I’m glad I came.’ Jade smiled. It had been a long and extraordinary day, and as it caught up on her, she suddenly wanted to cry. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to – she hated people thinking she was weak – so she swallowed hard and kept the tears down. She meant it, she thought, she was pleased she had met Kevin and already she felt close to him.
But there was just one problem – she knew that on meeting her Match, she wasn’t in love with him.
Chapter 34
NICK
It turned out the feeling Nick and Alex had shared in Alex’s clinic wasn’t a fluke.
The moment he spotted Alex in the trendy Birmingham bar, Nick was scared his legs might give way beneath him before he’d even reached the table. The two men politely shook hands and gave each other awkward smiles.
‘Can I get you a drink?’ Nick asked.
‘Sure, another one of these, thanks, mate,’ Alex replied, and lifted his bottle of lager.
Nick nodded and headed to the bar. As he ordered their drinks he noticed Alex’s reflection in the mirror behind the spirits. Sally was right when she’d commented on Alex’s handsome appearance. Even as a straight man, Nick could appreciate he was a good-looking guy. He was much more masculine than him and held himself confidently. He was the kind of guy women flocked to, and for some reason this thought made him feel funny inside. He checked his phone to see if Sally had received the text he’d sent telling her he’d be late home because of a client meeting. It was a plausible lie, he thought, as he often had to wine and dine existing and prospective clients. ‘OK babe, luv u.’ He read her reply. He didn’t respond.