He slapped my back. “No worries, fella, you’re gonna do just fine. I’ll go get your missus. Be back in a flash.”
Chantilly giggled. “Oh, that Elvis.” After a couple of minutes, Chantilly checked her watch, and then walked back down the aisle toward the double doors.
“This happens all the time,” the officiant assured me.
After another five minutes, Chantilly popped her head through the doors. “Travis? I think she’s a little . . . nervous. Do you want to try to talk to her?”
Fuck. “Yeah,” I said. The aisle seemed short before, but now it felt like a mile. I pushed through the doors, and raised my fist. I paused, took a breath, and then knocked a few times. “Pidge?”
After what felt like two eternities, Abby finally spoke, her voice on the other side of the door. “I’m here.” Even though she was only inches away, she sounded miles away, just like the morning after I brought those two girls home from the bar. Just the thought of that night made me feel a burning sickness in my gut. I didn’t even feel like the same person I was then.
“You okay, baby?” I asked.
“Yes. I just . . . I was rushed. I need a moment to breathe.”
She sounded anything but okay. I was determined to keep my head, to fight away the panic that used to cause me to do all kinds of stupid stuff. I needed to be the man Abby deserved. “You sure that’s all?”
She didn’t reply.
Chantilly cleared her throat and wrung her hands, clearly trying to think of something encouraging to say.
I needed to be on the other side of that door.
“Pidge . . .” I said, followed by a pause. What I would say next could change everything, but making everything all right for Abby trumped my own epically selfish needs. “I know you know I love you. What you may not know is that there is nothing I want more than to be your husband. But if you’re not ready, I’ll wait for you, Pigeon. I’m not going anywhere. I mean, yeah. I want this, but only if you do. I just . . . I need you to know that you can open this door and we can walk down the aisle, or we can get a taxi and go home. Either way, I love you.”
After another long pause, I knew it was time. I pulled an old, worn envelope from my inside jacket pocket, and held it with both hands. The faded pen looped around, and I followed the lines with my index finger. My mother had written the words To the future Mrs. Travis Maddox. My dad had given it to me when he thought things between Abby and me were getting serious. I’d only pulled this letter out once since then, wondering what she’d written inside, but never betraying the seal. Those words weren’t meant for me.
My hands were shaking. I had no clue what Mom had written, but I really needed her right now, and was hoping that this one time, she could somehow reach out from where she was and help me. I squatted down, sliding the envelope under the door.
Abby
Pidge. The word used to make my eyes roll. I didn’t know why he started calling me that in the first place, and I didn’t care. Now, Travis’s weird little nickname for me spoken in his deep, gritty voice made my entire body relax. I stood and walked over to the door, holding my palm to the wood. “I’m here.”
I could hear my breath; wheezing, slow, like I was sleeping. Every part of me was relaxed. His warm words fell slowly around me like a cozy blanket. It didn’t matter what happened after we got home, as long as I was Travis’s wife. It was then that I understood that whether I was doing this to help him or not, I was there to get married to the man who loved me more than any man loved any woman. And I loved him—enough for three lifetimes. In the Graceland Chapel, in this dress was almost exactly where I wanted to be. The only place better would be next to him at the end of the aisle.
Just then, a small, white square appeared at my feet.
“What’s this?” I said, bending down to pick it up. The paper was old, yellow. It was addressed to the future Mrs. Travis Maddox.
“It’s from my mom,” Travis said.
My breath caught. I almost didn’t want to open it, it had obviously been sealed and kept safe for so long.
“Open it,” Travis said, seeming to read my thoughts.
My finger carefully slid in between the opening, hoping to preserve it as best I could, but failing miserably. I pulled out the tri-folded paper, and the entire world stopped.
We don’t know each other, but I know that you must be very special. I can’t be there today, to watch my baby boy promise his love to you, but there are a few things that I think I might say to you if I were.
First, thank you for loving my son. Of all my boys, Travis is the most tender hearted. He is also the strongest. He will love you with everything he has for as long as you let him. Tragedies in life sometimes change us, but some things never change.
A boy without a mother is a very curious creature. If Travis is anything like his father, and I know that he is, he’s a deep ocean of fragility, protected by a thick wall of swear words and feigned indifference. A Maddox boy will take you all the way to the edge, but if you go with him, he’ll follow you anywhere.
I wish more than anything that I could be there today. I wish I could see his face when he takes this step with you, and that I could stand there with my husband and experience this day with all of you. I think that’s one of the things I’ll miss the most. But today isn’t about me. You reading this letter means that my son loves you. And when a Maddox boy falls in love, he loves forever.
Please give my baby boy a kiss for me. My wish for both of you is that the biggest fight you have is over who is the most forgiving.
Love,
Diane
“Pigeon?”
I held the letter to my chest with one hand, and opened the door with the other. Travis’s face was tight with worry, but the second his eyes met mine, the worry fell away.
He seemed stunned by the sight of me. “You’re . . . I don’t think there’s a word for how beautiful you are.”
His sweet, chestnut eyes, shadowed by his thick eyelashes, soothed my nerves. His tattoos were hidden under his gray suit and crisp, white button-up. My God, he was perfection. He was sexy, he was brave, he was tender, and Travis Maddox was mine. All I had to do was walk down the aisle. “I’m ready.”
“What did she say?” he asked.
My throat tightened so a sob wouldn’t escape. I kissed him on the cheek. “That’s from her.”
“Yeah?” he said, a sweet smile sweeping his face.
“And she pretty much nailed everything wonderful about you, even though she didn’t get to watch you grow up. She’s so wonderful, Travis. I wish I could have known her.”
“I wish she could have known you.” He paused a moment in thought, and then held up his hands.
His sleeve inched back, revealing his PIGEON tattoo. “Let’s sleep on it. You don’t have to decide right now. We’ll go back to the hotel, think about it, and—” He sighed, letting his arms and shoulders fall. “I know. This is crazy. I just wanted it so bad, Abby. This crazy is my sanity. We can . . .”
I couldn’t stand watching him stumble and struggle any longer. “Baby, stop,” I said, touching his mouth with three of my fingertips. “Just stop.”
He watched me. Waiting.
“Just so we’re straight, I’m not leaving here until you’re my husband.”
At first his brows pulled in, dubious, and then he offered a cautious smile. “You’re sure?”